Better Chaplain Series - Make It Awkward

Common advice to new chaplains is, "Don't be awkward!" or "Don't be weird!" I asked a senior chaplain recently to elaborate on that statement and the consensus seems to be: don't assume your hobbies are your ministry. Specific examples were chaplains that talked about sci-fi at every opportunity and dressed up in cosplay for squadron parties. In that sense, don't be awkward!

But in a godly sense, ministry requires awkward conversations. Herod Antipas, Tetrarch (sort of a king, sort of a governor, sort of a councilman) of Judea in the early First Century, had married the wife of his brother: open adultery. John the Baptist continuously rebuked Herod, and made Herod's wife exceedingly angry. Herod, to his credit, did listen to John, but did not act on the righteous and holy things being said. Herod, in another act of lust, ultimately had John the Baptist executed. (Read Mark 6:17-29)

It is awkward to rebuke a king, and while we know Herod's final state, his eternity and progeny was almost changed because John was not afraid to bring tension into their relationship, nor risk to his own life. Multitudes have been encouraged (a word which literally means to put-courage-in) by John's example, and many many lives have been changed.

As a chaplain sometimes you have to knock on a door or walk into a room where people don't want to hear the truth or what you have to say. Do it anyways. Make calls that say, "You know what you're supposed to do, why aren't you doing it?" Did you hear a rumor that might not be true? Run it to ground; people appreciate when you help the truth come out and that you cared enough about them to try. See sin in someone that they can't see? Call it out!

I was mentored early in my career on how to take unnecessary awkwardness out of mandatory conversations. In that instance we needed to talk to one person in a cubicle farm; instead of walking directly to their desk and confronting them we talked to every cubicle on the way to their desk, then asked important questions that seemed like just a normal unit engagement. It removed embarrassment that would not have helped the situation; but we have to be cognizant that difficult discussions require risk of embarrassment.

A common counseling question that cuts straight to the heart is, "What don't you want me to know that I need to know?" AWKWARD! But I shudder at how many counseling sessions I've wasted talking about symptoms when the heart issues were much deeper. How much time and pain could have been saved if I'd asked, "Are you telling me the truth?" "Did you hit your spouse?" or "Why aren't you obeying God?" "What sort of fruit would an unbeliever be producing in this situation?"

Make it awkward, for Jesus' sake.

More:

1. How many times did Jesus escalate the drama in situations by saying things that inflamed his audience? Is Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" a command or a principle? How Christlike can you be if no-one has ever tried to crucify you?

2. Paul is recorded as opposing Peter to his face. Was the truth helped or hindered by Paul's boldness? Was the friendship and brotherhood between Paul and Peter helped or hindered?

3. No-one wants to have awkward conversations, but they often end with great results. Memorize, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)

4. Resources:

York, Hershael and Bert Decker. Preaching With Bold Assurance: A Solid and Enduring Approach to Engaging Exposition. Nashville: B&H Publishing, 2003.

Dallimore, Arnold. George Whitefield: The Life and Times of the Great Evangelist of the Eighteenth-Century Revival - Volume 2. Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1980.

Adams, Jay. How to Help People Change: The Four-Step Biblical Process. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1986.

The "Awkward Turtle" hand-gesture from so many youth groups

Better Chaplain Series - No Drifting Allowed!

It's generally recommended for new commanders to come in first to observe, then to make changes over the coming weeks. You've probably heard a new commander say something like, "All standing orders remain in effect." There is wisdom in not coming in and tearing up all existing policies and decisions without knowing the why behind them.

But, without clear and decisive leadership, which way does an organization drift? The tendency is to get lax on regulations, and to become bloated with red tape, committees, and policies (often contradictory). Have you ever seen an organization drift into decency and order and efficiency?

There is a reason Jesus didn't say,

The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand! Become incrementally better and better until you've reached the goal, and work towards forward movement in the belief department. ~ Not Mark 1:15

One of the hardest parts of being a chaplain is the constant changes of assignment and station, but a true blessing in these moves is that you can evaluate whether you're holding to your first love, or if tradition and compromise have taken over your ministry.

But if you're caught in a downward drift (the only kind), there is still hope, as seen in the Conservative Resurgence of the Southern Baptist Convention 30 years ago, or the Wesleyan movement of the Methodist Church in the last ten years, the Downgrade Controversy that lost Charles Spurgeon many friends of 150 years ago, or the Reformation in the 1500s where many men and women shed their blood for the truth. Just because you've done it wrong in the past does not mean you have to do it wrong in the future.

But you won't drift there, you must make a radical repentant change to the truth.

You might say, "Brother Paul, if I stand up and say these things in my church they'll kill me." Then go die. ~ Paul Washer

More:

1. Consider the ministries of Josiah and Nehemiah; did they slowly bring the nation back to the truth, or did they make major changes based on the Word of God? Can you think of other examples of clear decision leading to godliness either inside or outside of the Bible?

2. The International Missions Board of the Southern Baptist Convention called for churches not to ask, "What's wrong with what we're doing?" but to ask, "What is right with what we're doing?" Is it possible that you've been weighted down with all sorts of sins and traditions that beset so easily? Notice that in Hebrews 12:1 that it's not just sin to watch out for.

3. You'll lose friends for standing for the truth and cancelling unhelpful programs. Ask yourself Paul's question from Galatians 1:10, "Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

4. Resources:

Murray, Iain H. The Forgotten Spurgeon. Edinburgh: Banner of Truth Trust, 1966.

Mohler, R. Albert. "Don't Just Do Something, Stand There." YouTube. Louisville, KY: The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, August 31, 1993. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OLHcCSgi2k

Luther, Martin. 95 Theses. Wittenburg: Castle Church Door, 1517.

Better Chaplain Series - Book and Media Recommendations

Leadership / Men's Growth:

Mohler, R. Albert, Jr. The Conviction to Lead: 25 Principles for Leadership That Matters. Bloomington, MN: Bethany House, 2012.

Hughes, R. Kent. Disciplines of a Godly Man. Wheaton: Crossway, 1991.

Grief:

White, James. Grieving: Your Path Back to Peace. Minneapolis: Bethany House, 1997.

MacArthur, John. Safe in the Arms of God: Truth From Heaven About the Death of a Child. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2003.

Shearer, Canyon. "Hope in the Loss of a Baby." Trust and Obey. April 4, 2020. https://trustobey.blogspot.com/2020/04/hope-in-loss-of-baby.html

Evangelism:

Comfort, Ray. The Way of the Master. Alachua, FL: Bridge-Logos, 2006.

van der Bijl, Andrew and Al Janssen. Light Force. London: Open Doors International, 2004.

Deeper Faith:

Phillips, Dan. The World-Tilting Gospel: Embracing a Biblical Worldview and Hanging on Tight. Grand Rapids: Kregel Publications, 2011.

Bunyan, John. The Pilgrim's Progress. 1678. Reprint, London: Penguin Classics, 2008.

Redemption:

Rose, Darlene Deibler. Evidence Not Seen: A Woman's Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II. New York: HarperOne, 1988.

Kastler, Shane E. Nathan Bedford Forrest's Redemption. New York: Pelican Publishing, 2010.

Productivity:

Perman, Matt. What's Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done. Wheaton: Crossway, 2014.

Wilson, Doug. Ploductivity: A Practical Guide to Consistent Productivity. Moscow, ID: Canon Press, 2018.

Pornography and Sexual Abuse:

Lambert, Heath. Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2013.

Jones, Dawn Scott. When a Woman You Love is Abused: A Husband's Guide to Helping Her. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2008.

Counseling:

Scott, Stuart, and Heath Lambert. Counseling the Hard Cases: An 8-Point Model for Effective Therapy. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2012.

Welch, Edward T. Blame It on the Brain? Neuroscience and the Nature of Sin. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2024.

Ellen, Nicolas. "How to Quiet a Noisy Soul." YouTube. July 22, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0dwHcj6Tec

Chaplaincy:

Taylor, Robert Preston. Days of Anguish, Days of Hope. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992.

Cash, Carey. A Table in the Presence: A Personal Story of God's Faithfulness in the Midst of Tragedy. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006.

Linzey, Paul and Keith Travis. Military Ministry: Chaplains in the Twenty-First Century. Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, 2022.

Better Chaplain Series - Work for the King and the Saints

 At a very difficult time in Israel’s history the prophet Elijah had promised a drought, angering the king and queen, and was in exile for 3 years. The queen had ordered the killing of the prophets of God to establish her religion.

One of the most trusted advisors of the wicked king Ahab was a man named Obadiah (1 Kings 18:3ff), who had served the LORD from his youth, and who in recent days had cared for a hundred prophets out of his own pocket.

Obadiah was a servant of God and of the king, though the two did not always agree. While he certainly was not perfect, scripture says nothing negative of Obadiah, so while it would be tempting to say that he should have opposed Ahab to his face, we see that Obadiah was in a place to bless both the nation and the people of God.

Chaplain, do you always agree with the decisions of your leadership? If you’re a chaplain of the United States, your professed king is the Constitution, and while a wonderful document, it can be interpreted and invoked to accomplish atrocities which God certainly is not happy with. You must choose if your role is that of Obadiah or Elijah, and to fulfill your calling in whichever role God has placed you in. Elijah was not in a position to care for 100 prophets, and Obadiah was not in a place to raise a child from the dead, nor to stop the blessings of Heaven from falling on Israel, but together God was accomplishing great things through both to bring the nation to repentance.

It could be argued that Obadiah’s influence led to great reforms under future leaders and the cutting off of Baal and Asherah worship in Israel. It would have been simple for scripture to leave him out of the story all together, but he’s there, and he’s important, and he teaches us that we can serve both the king of our nation and the King of heaven. Go, and do likewise.

More:

1. Peter and John answered the leaders in their time with, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” (Acts 4:19) If faced with a law that contradicts the law of God, who will you obey? Which nation will last longer? (cf Hebrews 13:14)

2. Obadiah was paying for ministry out of his own pocket, some chaplains have called this the “Obadiah Fund”, what can you fund that will further the kingdom of God?

3. William Wilberforce, who spent three decades abolishing slavery in the United Kingdom, wanted to quit Parliament for the wickedness he observed there. His mentor, John Newton encouraged him to stay to call England to repentance and abolish the slave trade. Is there something or someone you can reach because of your position that an outsider could not?

4. Further Resources:

Benge, Janet, and Geoff Benge. William Wilberforce: Take Up the Fight. Seattle: YWAM Publishing, 2002.

Astor, David, producer. Amazing Grace. Directed by Michael Apted. Walden Media, 2006. DVD.

Better Chaplain Series - Equip Others

 Is the chaplain:

    1. an apostle (one sent by God)

    2. a prophet (one who speaks for God)

    3. an evangelist (one who tells the good news of salvation)

    4. a pastor (one who seeks and tends the sheep of his master)

    5. a teacher (one who illuminates and helps others to understand God’s word and creation)

Regardless which you choose (or all of the above), Ephesians 4:11-16 tells us that the chaplain is given to equip the saints for the work of the ministry for building up the body of Christ. His calling and gifting is not for personal use in building himself up or making himself a self-sufficient maverick, but are given for investing in others, calling out their gifting, identifying where saints (all who are sanctified, set-apart, made holy in Christ) are strong and employing them, and identifying where they are weak and exhorting them.

Is your chaplaincy a competition? Are you withholding information or hoarding ministry for your own benefit? What are your efforts doing for the body of Christ?

I have been blessed to see three men become chaplains under my ministry, ordain two others, and commission many to minister in their sphere of influence. Though only a shadow of the glory of Christ’s rewards, I often like to say, “My favorite medals are medals that others’ are wearing, my favorite awards are sitting on others’ shelves, and my favorite stripes are sewn on others’ uniforms.”

I once had a job assigned to me that I’d done before. After accepting the job, I realized that I should give it to a young man who had never done the job. He spent a long night prepping for the massive job the next day, with my direction, and he did a phenomenal job despite a lot of stress and personal growth. Then he was awarded a medal for that job, and was later promoted for his many accomplishments with that medal being the crowing achievement. I was originally embittered because he was recognized for a job I could have done, but I’ve learned to rejoice for all of the good he’s done since–by the grace of God–I gave him one opportunity.

Rejoice in fruit growing on others’ trees. ~ John Piper

More:

1. What do you think Paul wanted us to do with Jesus’ quote, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

2. Is it lazy to delegate tasks to others when you’re more than capable of accomplishing the job by yourself? What if they’re incapable of accomplishing the tasks? Read Ezekiel 34:4-6 and consider if you’ve fulfilled your ministry.

3. Did anyone equip you early in your ministry? Where would you be without them?

4. Further Resources:

Scott, Stuart. One Another: A Guide for Strengthening and Serving Others in Christ. Bemidji, MN: Focus Publishing, 2006.

Laniak, Timothy S. Shepherds After My Own Heart: Pastoral Traditions and Leadership in the Bible. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2006.

Better Chaplain Series - Speak with Authority

How many times have you heard someone share something merely because they were supposed to? They had no investment, no conviction, and probably didn’t even believe the message they were sharing?

I had a brand-new commander deliver a rebuke to their squadron a couple years ago; it was clear that the new commander didn’t know the context, the details, or the ramifications of what happened, only that they were directed to deliver the message. It was vapid, empty, and probably changed not a single mind that day, even though it was a necessary message.

Have you ever heard a someone offer a message or invocation that had no meaning or backbone? I have, more times than I can count. So did the followers of Jesus,

When Jesus finished saying these things, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes. ~ Matthew 7:28-29

Chaplain, you have the words of eternal life, they aren’t yours, but you’d better believe them, share them, preach them, pray them, and exhort them. When you pray, if the prayer isn’t interesting to you, it certainly isn’t interesting to your audience. Paul said the reason he prayed out loud was so that he could build up his hearers (1 Cor 14:16-17); Jesus said something similar (John 11:42). When you speak, make sure it’s to build up others.

When you pray, make sure it’s a heartfelt and real prayer. When you speak, make sure it’s helpful and has the whole of heaven’s authority standing behind it. Paul exhorted Titus,

Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no-one disregard you” ~ Titus 2:15

More:

1. Paul says that the Christian is an ambassador of Christ. What is the measurement of a good ambassador? Isn’t it that the king is pleased with the spirit and substance in which he shares the message?

2. Is your job to reap converts or faithfully share the message? What happens if they don’t listen? Is it your fault, or theirs? Read 1 Thessalonians 4:8 and chew on it.

3. Referees in sports are paid to make definitive decisions and make authoritative judgement calls. Have you ever seen a timid umpire who makes unclear calls? What are some ways that referees can make a crowd mad? What are some ways a referee can get fired? Who gives that referee the authority to make game-changing calls?

4. Resources:

Ash, Christopher. The Priority of Preaching. Fearn, Ross-shire: Christian Focus, 2009.

Mohler, R. Albert. He is Not Silent: Preaching in a Postmodern World. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2008.

Better Chaplain Series - Have an Agenda

If you spend any time in worldly conversation, you’ll notice that the vast majority of dialogue doesn’t matter. Maybe they’re about sports, or the weather, or hobbies, but they have no real value in any lasting sense. Yet, there continues to be an appetite for “organic” counseling and conversation, where the hope is we’ll land on something valuable on accident, or as the relationship progresses.

I was in the Middle East some years ago (pre-GPS) and we got lost near dark, the driver panicked and started taking random turns. We finally got him to pull over and we tried to figure out where we were. We couldn’t backtrack because of the randomness and roundabouts, and as the sun set we lost all sense of direction. Fortunately we found one landmark that allowed us to figure out where we were, and that allowed us to use our maps to get to our destination.

How many conversations have you had that just followed the random twists and turns? Have you ever been in a conversation and asked, “How in the world did we get here?” A chaplain should always be steering the conversation and have a destination in mind; otherwise how are you ever going to get somewhere good? I love how Hershael York puts it,

I really don’t want anybody to be around me 15 minutes without knowing the two loves of my life—the Lord Jesus and [my wife].

The real goal is making it feel like an organic conversation that lands on eternal truths; taking some scenic turns and byways, always knowing where you’re trying to end-up with a plan on how to get there. I love hiking with the kids and popping out at the parking lot when they thought they still had miles to go. What a coincidence? Or was it dad with a GPS and a trail map?

Take control of the conversation, and remember what Heath Lambert says,

Counseling is either discipleship or evangelism.

How are you going to get to Jesus? What questions will make the person you’re talking to think about eternity? I ended a conversation (outside of chaplaincy) with someone recently and they said, “You really made me mad!” It wasn’t my goal to make them mad, and I would have preferred instant joy in them, but I rejoice that now the Holy Spirit has a seed planted in their heart which he can grow.

In a future article we’ll talk about making sure we share the truth in love, not with the end goal of making people mad.

More:

1. What did Paul mean when he said, “I endeavored to know nothing among you except for Christ and him crucified.” (1 Corinthians 2:2)? Can you say the same?

2. If faith comes by hearing, and hearing the word of Christ, who have you told?

3. Think back to a time when someone got right to the point with you: did that annoy you, or do you appreciate that person?

4. Further Resources:

Mohler, R. Albert. The Conviction to Lead: 25 Principles for Leadership That Matters. Bloomington: Bethany House, 2012.

York, Hershael. Pastor Well. Podcast. Louisville, KY: The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Better Chaplain Series - Calling or Career

Does God call the equipped or equip the called? Before becoming a chaplain I used to say, “Chaplains are the most overpaid ministers in the world.” I don’t say that as often as I used to, but I do still say it. Chaplaincy generally comes with better budgets, more stable futures, and better retirements than church ministry.

The Book of Judges reminds us over and over, “There was no king in Israel in those days, and everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” While the whole of Israel was in uproar and full-blown sin, Judges 17-21 give us vignettes of some of the common and heinous sins that were occurring. We’re introduced in chapter 17 to a man named Micah who is seeking to buy favor with God, and he sets up his own little church in his house and places one of his sons as priest. But he, you, and I know that his son is an illegitimate priest: he’s not from the tribe of Levi, his ordination is fraudulent, his training is non-existent, and I suspect, he's not doing a very good job.

Then a Levite wanders into the camp, at least someone from the right tribe, looking for someone to hire him as priest.

Micah gives him six things:

1. A Place to Live (Stay)

2. A Place to Serve (with me)

3. A Title (be a father and a priest)

4. A Reasonable Paycheck (I will give you 10 shekels a year)

5. Clerical Clothing to Wear (a suit of clothes)

6. Steady Meals (and your victuals)

Unfortunately, this Levite is content to serve under the idolatrous Micah. The priest does not rebuke Micah for his idolatry, he does not encourage repentance, later he stands by as his master is ransacked and maligned, and when the opportunity presents itself, he runs off to bigger and better ministry, though his overlooking the sins of so many leads to war and exponential destruction.

So, chaplain, why do you serve (do you see the parallel)? Is it because you have a Masters of Divinity and you need a place to minister? One that will give you the title of chaplain and officer, impressive base pay, Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), Basic Allowance for Sustenance (BAS), a clothing allowance, and something the Levite never dreamed of, paternity leave and a solid retirement? Or is it because God has called you to a dark and dying people that desperately needs your call to repentance and moral uprightness to point them to the King who is able to serve as priest forever? Do you want the benefits, or do you want to serve Christ?

All he aimed at was to get bread, not to do good. ~ Matthew Henry

More:

1. Was it wrong for a priest in the time of the Judges to be paid for his work? Is it wrong for a minister today to be paid for his work? If not, how do you ensure that your comfort and love of money is not consuming your soul and reeking havoc on your usefulness? Can you say like Paul, "I coveted no one's silver or gold or apparel." (Acts 20:33)?

2. The temptation is to set-up a Sacerdotal religion, one where the priesthood outranks the populace. How can you faithfully say that you came to serve, not to be served, and to ensure that you aren't puffed up by your knowledge and experience?

3. Do you know the story of Balaam son of Beor? He was hired by an enemy king to invoke curses upon Israel. The amount he received is veiled from us, but it was certainly not a small amount (Cf Numbers 22:7, 18). Could it be said that he gained the world and lost his soul?

4. Further Resources:

Reidhead, Paris. Ten Shekels and a Shirt. Sermon. Preached 1964.

Lawson, Steven J. Famine in the Land: A Passionate Call for Expository Preaching. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2003.

Better Chaplain Series - A Present Help in Trouble

When the Son of God stepped into human flesh two millennia ago, he was called "Immanuel" which being translated means "God With Us". He did many things in his incarnation, but one of the most important is in his name, he brought God near to us, and he brought us near to God. The broken relationship between God and men was healed so that we can with confidence believe Psalm 46:1.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

This verse was illuminated to me by Pastor Tyler Hicks who stated that one of his favorite things to hear from his kids is "Dad, help!" because he knows that they are reaching out for their near help, a present help in times of trouble. In many cases he is able to help because he is near.

Pastors have known for millennia that they are often called upon in the most importune times. Chaplains have a compounded accessibility with duty rosters and duty phones, and they often minister among people who have no-where else to turn to for help. Ask any chaplain and you'll hear of very inconvenient conversations. Years ago I took a late night phone call to have the caller ask career advice for promotion. He assured me it was an emergency. After speaking for a few minutes I said bluntly, "Help me to understand how this is an emergency." He got his thoughts together and it became clear that he was in the first year of a six year contract, hated his job, and saw no way to improve his situation without a drastic promotion. All of the sudden I knew why it was an emergency: he was at his wits end and his hope was failing. I thank God that I didn't do what my flesh wanted to do, which was to end the conversation curtly; would I have ever had the chance to talk to him again?

Chaplain, you are a present help in times of trouble. Some of the worst chaplains I know regularly schedule appointments out by weeks. Sometimes there is a place for that, but it should not be your normal ministry. Jesus missed a healing by stopping to help someone, and that healing had to be turned into a resurrection (Mark 5:21-43). If you want to be Christlike, make yourself available to inconvenient opportunities.

But, never forget that there is a very present help, a better helper, a better saviour, than you, but that you are his ambassador, you are operating vicariously in his place, you are the only Bible most people will ever read. My chaplain endorser, Liberty Baptist Fellowship, declares that our call is to "Bear the message and presence of Christ around the globe." That's not just for LBF chaplains, it's the call of all pastors, chaplains, and saints.

More:

1. The company Amazon traces much of its success to "frictionless experiences"; what sort of things get in your way of being available to those who need you? How can you be more frictionless and easier to interact with?

2. The temptation is to say, "There are too many people who need me." Maybe that's true...but most likely it's not. How can you better schedule your day, prioritize your ministry, and love people?

3. Further Resources:

Jones, Timothy Paul and Michael Wilder. The God Who Goes Before You. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2015.

Casting Crowns. If We Are the Body. 2003. Sparrow Records.

Al Mohler - Life in Four Stages

 As I reflect on 2023 and prepare for 2024, I'm relistening to four sermons that blessed me years ago. I'm placing them here for you you and I to have easy access to the video of these sermons.