Looking for a Book to Read? Books I Read in 2025!

Below you will find a list of books I read in 2025, some were incredibly helpful and I would recommend, and others I would not recommend. As finances are tight for everyone, I've included Amazon Affiliate links for all of these books, if you are planning to buy anyways, please consider buying after clicking the link.

I have listed books in order of how I enjoyed them under certain categories. The top book will always be my favorite in the category! Each book will contain a brief synopsis and if I didn't like the book a clear "not recommended." The not recommended books will all be at the bottom of their categories.

Theology / Christian Living Books

Jerry Bridges - The Pursuit of Holiness

I wish I had found Jerry Bridges sooner, his call to holiness is powerful and is filled with personal examples and powerful use of the scripture. Perhaps my favorite thing about Bridges is he has no formal training, so his exhortation is deeply biblical. Will read again in 2026.

Jerry Bridges - Respectable Sins

Prepare to say "ouch" when you can't say "amen". Bridges again speaks clearly from the scriptures and exhorts hearers to put away all sin.

Carl Trueman - The Real Scandal of the Evangelical Mind

Trueman points out that "evangelical" is a term that gets thrown out everywhere, but doesn't really mean anything. He gives a very good definition that many "evangelicals" wouldn't agree with, though many would. The real scandal is that evangelical can mean whatever you want and has lumped very strange beliefs together. The best take-away from the book is that you should know what you believe and be able to define it, and that we should probably stop calling ourselves evangelical without defining what that means.

Gene Edwards - A Tale of Three Kings - Mostly Not Recommended

Sort of a poem, sort of a brainstorming exercise, this is the first time I've been exposed to the writing of Gene Edwards, which takes some effort to read. Edwards explores the emotions of King Saul, King David, and Prince Absalom as they wonder about the other's roles in their lives. It steps well outside of biblical fidelity and orthodoxy, but it did make me think deeply about those three men. I don't recommend reading it from a view to the truth, but to consider how you'd react in their shoes, and how the correct response is repentance towards God and faith in Jesus Christ.

Carl Trueman - Strange New World - Mostly Not Recommended

This is the abridged version of The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution. It examines how we've gotten here, from men like Hegel, Marx, and Niezsche; all of this is likely true, but a scriptural foundation would have been more helpful. It makes us victims if we blame Freud for where we are, it makes us victors if we can repent of our own sin and call our neighbors to repentance.

Lee Strobel - The Case for Miracles - Not Recommended

An interesting study to determine if their is a scientific basis for miracles. It has some very entertaining moments, such as retelling the stories of atheists experiencing miracles, but the theology is weak and the case unconvincing from a scientific standpoint.

Ross Douthat – Believe - Not Recommended

Ross Douthat takes the idea from CS Lewis that if you offer genuine service to an unholy god, your service will be counted as righteousness to the true God. It is as anathema today as it was when CS Lewis said it, and yet Douthat has built a whole worldview on the idea that trying your best by picking and choosing from the world's leading religions will always get you a positive outcome. The scriptures are not considered, the truth is not approached, and overall this might be the worst book I read this year, if not ever. There was one very helpful statement, that the movements of the enlightenment, Marx, and Darwin did nothing in comparison to the sexual revolution to lead people astray.

Parenting

John MacArthur - Being a Dad Who Leads

This book should be much more popular, it includes so many useful principles and techniques. If you aren't a dad, or don't have a dad, it's still worth reading as MacArthur writes in a very fatherly way. I will read this book again in the near future. Note - I'm sorry this book is so expensive, I got it at the library and recommend you look there as well, but it is worth the price!

Clare Morell - The Tech Exit: A Practical Guide to Freeing Kids and Teens from Smartphones

Clare Morell has categorized the dangers of smart phones, especially in younger kids and teens, and makes a masterful argument to delaying the giving of smart phones. As an added bonus it greatly helped me to ween myself away from many time-destroying, relationship-hindering apps. Again, sorry it's so expensive, but it is definitely worth the price!

Gary Chapman - 5 Love Languages for Children

I've never put much stock in the 5 Love Languages, but I was surprised at how helpful this book was. It gives all sorts of great practical advise on how to interact with kids who are motivated by other things. As a bonus, it includes a very helpful last chapter on the disaster of divorce for kids feeling loved.

Lee Strobel - The Case for Christ for Kids

This book was fun and got the kids thinking. Great kid level questions and answers.

Canyon Shearer - The Character of Creatures

I've been working on this book for about six years, it's nice to finally have it done. It uses various animal illustrations to drive home scriptural points. Including here because to publish I read it about ten times.

Canyon Shearer – A Saviour for Shepherds in David’s City

An interesting Christmas devotional told from the point of view of the shepherds outside of Bethlehem the night Jesus was born. It explores why these shepherds were so eager to find the Christ child!

Neil Gairman - Fortunately, the Milk

This is a weird fun book in a sort of Douglas Adams style that is non-sensical and ridiculous. At the end you find out it was all made up. The kids really paid attention and loved to retell the story.

Robert Smith - The Body God Gives: A Biblical Response to Transgender Theory - Mostly Not Recommended

This new book attempts to set a biblical narrative against the Transgender Theory. In my mind that is a simple proposition and I don't think I could write a book of this length. Many reviewers state that you need to read this book with a careful eye...I will be honest that of all of the books on this list, I was most distracted reading this book. A much better and easy to follow book is Laura Perry - Transgender to Transformed: A Story of Transition That Will Truly Set You Free.

Doug Wilson - Andrew and the Firedrake - Not Recommended

It's been a while since I read this, so one word really comes to mind: forgettable. I thought it was going to be a great book to read with the kids, but I shelved that idea. If I remember right, the interactions between the dragon are without suspense, and the main point didn't drive home a moral. I really can't believe how little I remember of this book.

Marriage

Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta - Married Sex

A very helpful look at the biblical commands and the emotional connection behind sex. The first chapter starts out a little vulgar (not too much, but makes you think it's not going to be a good book) but then the rest of the book is very helpful. The frequently asked question section is especially helpful both for long-time married couples, and those just starting out.

Jay Payleitner - 52 Things Wives Need From Their Husbands

This is a profound book full of levity and helpful suggestions. Many of the principles seem like just common sense, but Payleitner has a way to tying them to scripture. He also gives great exhortation when he needs to. I'll reread this book sometime in the future. There is also a companion book that I haven't read yet, but I expect is equally good: Jay Payleitner - 52 Things Husbands Need from Their Wives: What Wives Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage.

Biography

WA Criswell - Standing on the Promises

WA Criswell masterfully tells his story while encouraging everyone from parents, to aspiring pastors, to professors, to church members to invest in the local church and individual Christians to turn the world upside down. One of the most incredibly biographies I've read in a long time!

Amy Carmichael – The Gold Cord

I adore Amy Carmichael and have had this book on my shelf for quite some time. It was nice to finally open it. This book reads more like a journal than a polished biography, some of the chapters are out of sequence, and some of the characters are never introduced, you're just expected to know them. Worse, many of the stories that seem like they would have a resolution are never resolved. It makes for a difficult read, but highly encouraging nonetheless. It will break your heart for the millions and billions of people worldwide who live utterly cut off from the light of the gospel.

Ronald White - American Ulysses: A Life of Ulysses S. Grant

It's written in such a way that during the Civil War chapters if you let yourself get caught up in it, you're not sure who is going to win and the suspense builds and builds. Three things especially jumped out at me: 1) Grant learned late in life the formal definition of a noun and a verb and the difference between the two. He argued with his friend Mark Twain that his name was a verb, not a noun. I am resolved that my name shall become more of a verb than a noun. 2) He had a horse named Jefferson Davis that he used to defeat Jefferson Davis. No real moral to this one, just made me laugh every time I read it. 3) Despite growing up in the Methodist Church, spending much time with chaplains, quoting parts of the Bible regularly, and being well versed in God's sovereignty, there is no clear evidence of his being born again. Resolved, to speak and live in such a way that when I die, people won't wonder or hope for my eternal state.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch

More vulgar and hopeless than I remember, it was still good to reread this sort of biography, sort of historical fiction. When you are presuming on God to owe you something, read about people who seemed abandoned by God. I was greatly encouraged by the Baptists in the story who I didn't know were there, and their handwritten scriptures and indelible faith.

Janet and Geoff Benge – William Booth: Soup, Soap, and Salvation

I was surprised that I would put this book this far down the list, but this biography tends to focus much more on the later life of Booth after he started to run the Salvation "Army" than the early victories for which I consider him such a great evangelist. You'll walk away wondering if Booth wasn't on the verge of starting a cult.

Margaret Troutt - The General Was a Lady: The Story of Evangeline Booth

A very interesting and well written account of Eva Booth's life and ministry. Just enough overview and personal stories that it definitely kept my attention. Doesn't touch on the theology of her appointment or preaching, and the sermons are usually just described as powerful rather than giving details. You get a different view of William Booth's autocracy when it's shaking up "Army" posts all over the world, and not for the good.

Josh McDowell - More Than a Carpenter

I didn't quite know where to put this book, but I think it is mostly a biography of how McDowell came to faith in Christ. He brings up frequently asked questions and does a pretty reasonable job of answering them. If you're exploring Christianity, you'd be interested to learn how McDowell arrived at the truth.

Malcolm Gladwell - Bomber Mafia

I wrestled with if this book should go higher on this list. Very well researched and presented, you'll be taken all over the battlefields of WWII and understand some of the more controversial tactics used by the Americans to win the war. Probably the best takeaway is that if we won't be demoralized by being bombed to smithereens, why would we expect our enemies to give up because their civilians are bombed?

Starr Smith - Biography of Jimmy Stewart

This book is a good introduction to how Jimmy Stewart faced his own battle just to get into World War II, and then how he inspired so many men and had some fun while doing it. You will have a different view of this great actor when you're done with the book. It's low on this list though because it's pretty matter-of-fact without personal stories that I would like to take-away.

John Perry - Sergeant York: A Biography of an American Patriot and World War I Hero

I read this book while researching Conscientious Objectors. That section of the book is phenomenal, however, the post war events really drag on and while Sergeant York is worthy of emulating in a lot of ways, he also failed to let his faith guide him later in life.

John Perry - George Washington Carver: A Biography of a Scientist, Botanist, and Former Slave

Another book that I expected to be higher on the list, and maybe it should be. George Washington Carver lived an amazing life. I'm putting it low on the list because I was greatly discouraged by how selfish and prideful Carver was. However, the best take-away from this book was when Carver prayed that God would show him everything there was to know about science, to which Carver realized one lifetime could not accomplish that, so he asked to know everything about the peanut, which was still too much for one man to learn, but he did his best!

Alfred Lansing - Endurance

1) If you ever find yourself feeling ungrateful, consider that you don't have to have fruits/vegetables, a dry/warm bed, continual and infinite opportunities for conversation and learning, running water (& Toilet Paper!), and GPS/radios/cell-phones. 2) How are you redeeming your time? Several members of the expedition read their Bibles from cover to cover multiple times, others had deep conversations on many subjects, some wiled away the time on fleshly considerations. 3) Consider your role, are you like Shackleton charged with leading two dozen men on an impossible task, or are you being a good follower who maintains hope in hopelessness? In my pride I read it from Shackleton's standpoint, and I would have failed miserably, if I read it again I'll consider from a nearly anonymous crewmember. 4) If you ever feel important or powerful or larger than life, consider what you'd do if you had to cross the Drake Passage on a 22 foot lifeboat.

Critiques: 1) The Bible and God clearly played a massive role in the story, but are nearly absent from the book; what was the spiritual story of the crew? Was it, like is so important, "The easiest time to say Jesus is all you need is when Jesus is all you have!" Or was it something completely different? Major oversight on the part of the author not to spend at least a few sentences considering. 2) What did the lives of the men look like after the expedition? To spend almost two years in abject isolation and constant peril must have produced extremely interesting aftermath, which unfortunately is not considered. 3) What was gained from the expedition; the author states that it was more important than the planned transantartic expedition, but was it really? Am I more inspired to do hard things because of Shackleton and his crew, or is it an anti-moral? Are the things I'm living for worth Christ dying for?

Chaplaincy

Tim Townsend - Mission at Nuremberg: An American Army Chaplain and the Trial of the Nazis

A wonderful look at Henry Gerecke who was charged with leading condemned Nazi war criminals for forgiveness in Christ. Most of the book is about the horrors of the Nazi regime and worth reading for that reason, there is also a great personal look at his upbringing and reason for joining the army so late. Gives you a lot of think about on how you would minister to war criminals and if Jesus truly is able to save even the chief of sinners. Right in the middle of the book is a completely unhelpful examination of a biblical critique method known as the "documentary hypothesis", which has long since been abandoned.

Canyon Shearer - The Better Chaplain Devotional - Not Released Yet

Keep a look-out, I've been working on this book for a long time and read it through about five times this year! If you'd be willing to write a review when it releases in February, I'll send you a copy of the manuscript!

Jeff Struecker - The Road to Unafraid: How the Army's Top Ranger Faced Fear and Found Courage through "Black Hawk Down" and Beyond

Jeff Struecker is a retired army chaplain who did much to inspire my generation of chaplains. He tells his story from the ground in Mogadishu. His polished delivery will keep you on the edge of your seat, and then he masterfully tells how he became a chaplain and the leap of faith that took.

Doris Bergen - The Sword of the Lord: Military Chaplains from the First to the Twenty-First Century

An interesting look at little vignettes of chaplaincy through the ages. Mostly Roman Catholic, but still inspiring. The best part of the book is the critique of Nazi chaplains who didn't stand up for God, truth, or faith in the midst of such wickedness in their ranks. It could have spent time on those Nazi chaplains who did pay with their life for standing against Hitler. I have heard that another of her books does examine this topic, I may read it in the future: Between God and Hitler: Military Chaplains in Nazi Germany.

Leadership

Justin Irving – A Healthy Leadership for Thriving Organizations: Creating Contexts Where People Flourish

Justin Irving gives a masterful overview of various leadership styles while examining scriptures as he goes. A great leadership book for every career field.

John MacArthur - Called to Lead

MacArthur adeptly uses the Apostle Paul to point out that leadership is discipleship. He uses many of the stories in the book of Acts and elsewhere to call Christians everywhere to lead in their capacities and point people to Jesus Christ.

John Maxwell - Think on These Things: Meditations for Leaders

A nice concise book on the importance of thinking deeply about important topics, starting with getting your heart and mind right before God. The stories he tells are entertaining, but for younger readers a lot of the context is missing because his stories all revolve around the leaders of the last generation.

Tod Bolsinger - Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory

Not my favorite book, but interesting none-the-less. Bolsinger follows the trek of Lewis and Clark across the country drawing leadership lessons as they go. Light on Bible and heavy on vulgarity, you're not going to get much Christian leadership out of this book, but I'm non "not recommending" it because of the historical value. Readers should know that Meriwether Lewis committed suicide; a fact glossed over by the book and most of history.

John Cotter - Leading Change - Not Recommended

A leadership book that spells out an effective 8-step model, but the authority is all from anecdotal evidence, not science and definitely not the scriptures.

Simon Sinek - Start With Why - Not Recommended

I love the idea of this book, the title alone is everything you need to know, that a person who knows their why is likely to find a how. Like Cotter's book above, it's all anecdotal, and while the premise is true, I didn't get much from the book.

Mike Bonem, James Furr and Jim Herrington – Leading Congregational Change: A Practical Guide for the Transformational Journey - Not Recommended

Like everything that comes out of Rick Warren's and Bill Hybels's churches, this book feels like someone said, "Write a book about Christian leadership based on what you've read on Facebook and seen on TBN; but under no circumstances pick up a Bible." This book is vapid at best and antichristian at worst.

Thomas Neff and James Citrin - You’re in Charge, Now What? The 8 Point Plan - Not Recommended

I picked up this book because a friend recommended it. First--and age isn't always a bad thing--this book is twenty years old and tells the story of companies that have long since slid from the top of their fields. Further it uses Enron consistently as a bad example, but Enron hasn't been at the forefront of my mind for two decades. Ultimately though, the lessons are based on metrics such as earnings and growth, not on biblical fidelity. If you're a chaplain reading this, please don't run a chapel like this book recommends. I did like, however, that your 'state of incompetence' should be temporary, and that you should be growing in and into your new role.

Counseling

John MacArthur - Anxious For Nothing

A really great look at Solomon and the Sermon on the Mount on how it's not just wrong to be anxious, it's a sin. In this world where there is so much to be anxious about, this is a clarion call to give all your burdens to Jesus.

Alfred Poirier – The Peacemaking Pastor: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Church Conflict

Jumping off of Ken Sande's The Peacemaker this book takes it inside the church and gives a really solid biblical reason why Christians don't have an option to live at peace with each other, they must live at peace with each other. Filled with stories of difficult situations, most of which were resolved, I loved reading this targeted book and hope more pastors put it to work! Be advised though, it will make you mad because so many pastors don't even try to make peace.

Todd Sorrel - Unwasted Sorrow: How To Suffer Well For Your Own Sin

A very helpful little book on the consequences of sin. The main takeaway is that God is working in the consequences and that the Christian ought to be serving God because he's worthy to be served, not to gain rewards. Super helpful book for counselors, and those who are living the consequences of their sins. One sin (or many) does not negate God's faithfulness or the Christian's ability to work and serve.

Lou Priolo – Divorce: Before You Say "I Don’t"

Lou Priolo is a wonderful pastor and counselor and so it's no surprise that this short little book is full of wisdom, biblical truths, and hope. Written for those considering divorce, it dispels the rumors and gives dire consequences for divorce. The main takeaway is that divorce is going to hurt, and so is marriage, but one is blessed by God.

Edward Welch - Blame It on the Brain?: Distinguishing Chemical Imbalances, Brain Disorders, and Disobedience

A great examination of emotional, spiritual, and physical problems. Welch is ultimately driving towards the fact that God can work in every circumstance, but every circumstance can't be healed physically, which is why we have to point all people to Jesus.

David Powlison - Speaking Truth in Love: Counsel in Community

I need to reread this one again, as I was distracted in the reading, but the main point is worth the book, that speaking truth is absolutely important, but so is speaking in love, and that the two are not mutually exclusive. Powlison was a phenomenal counselor, and this book motivated me, which is one of the reasons I need to read it again to make sure I've gleaned everything I can from it.

Fred Stoeker - Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies for Real World of Sexual Temptation - Not Recommended

I'll be upfront, this is the only book I couldn't get through this year; it comes at sexual sin as a victim, not a victor, and there were quite a few times I felt the main author was bragging on his earlier exploits, despite him trying to say how unfulfilling they were. I've never been a fan of Every Man's Battle but wanted to see what an updated version might say. After being told so many times that all men are victims of this sin, and the fact that it's quite a long book, I gave up. A much better resource is Heath Lambert - Finally Free: Fighting for Purity With the Power of Grace.

Fiction

Miguel de Cervantes - Don Quixote - Not Recommended

I finally finished "Don Quixote" after reading it for literally years. What a weird book, if you've read through the Battle of the Windmills you've read enough, it's all downhill from there.

The main premise (and the moral of the story from the last chapter) is that reading books about pretend heroes will only make you at best a pretend hero, and you'll overlook all sorts of lies and deceit to believe what you want to believe.

James Fennimore Cooper - The Last of the Mohicans - Not Recommended

This is my second time reading this, and both times I've been disappointed. In a very rare case indeed, the movie is truly better than the book. The ambush scene in the book is extremely disturbing but worth a chaplain or pastor knowing about to remind us of the evil that exists in every human heart and that Jesus is the only hope for all of humanity.

A Powerful Concise Devotional for Christmas Eve

Order Here - Amazon Affiliate Link

A Saviour for Shepherds in David's City has deep biblical roots and a clear gospel presentation. It is the perfect read this Advent season and especially on Christmas Eve by candlelight.

Have you ever wondered why those shepherds in that field around Bethlehem were chosen, why they fell on their faces, why they were so quick to deliver the message, and why they returned rejoicing? The answer is clearly given in the Old Testament scriptures, and is just as relevant for you today as it was to them!

This short devotional will put you in the shepherds' shoes, share their thoughts, and illuminate why the coming of David's son to David's city to seek and save the lost sheep of Israel made so much sense. Fun illustrations will help to keep kids engaged and deep biblical truths are ripe for the taking for anyone who wants to know Jesus better and glorify and praise him all the days of their life.

Soul Mx - How to Resolve Conflict

This is part of a series shared ecumenically with members to whom I was assigned; the goal was to start conversation and deep thought, and many of these messages led to great conversations.

How to Resolve Conflict
Original Publication Date: 17 September 2025

I want to talk to you about different ways to address conflict. I had picked this topic before Charlie Kirk was killed last week, so I considered if a different topic was more appropriate, but I think his death amplifies this message and it’s more timely than ever. I know that among our squadron there are many different views of Charlie Kirk and his life, but whether you loved, hated, or were indifferent towards him it won’t change the importance of this newsletter.

 

Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” One other thing that can be absolutely certain in life is conflict. If there was a reprieve from conflict, we wouldn’t need a Department of Defense or a Department of War, we’d all just be held in reserve status. But the truth is we’re going to have conflict: between nations, political parties, in budgets and priorities, in time management, between coworkers, between family members, and even conflict within ourselves.

In the spiritual context, conflict is not in the way of life and mission and thriving, it often is the means to grow and succeed and overcome. Conflict in our lives and between other people gives us the chance to resolve differences, heal rifts, and grow together, so in some strange way, conflict is good.

But that doesn’t mean everyone approaches conflict right; there are three major ways to address conflict, they all start with peace, but are all radically different: Peace-Faking, Peace-Breaking, and Peace-Making.

Peace-Faking is the idea that if I ignore a problem or run away from it, it won’t be my problem anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. A person who addresses conflict this way may be called “avoidant” or “escapist.” Unfortunately, many suicides can be traced to this style of conflict resolution. Charlie Hines spoke this week on base about his suicide attempt and emphasized that he was seeking to end the pain he was feeling, but he was clear that he found no peace in his attempt.

Hiding, ignoring, or running from problems feels like it’s working for a little while, until the conflict catches up to you, usually intensified from neglect. One of my first big battles as a chaplain was with a superintendent who was a classic example of peace-faking until he had no-where else to hide failed processes and hurt people; it came to my attention when I noticed a trend of Airmen from his shop in my office complaining about their toxic work-center. Unfortunately, in his case his peace-faking cost him his career through an investigation that led to his retirement.

As maintainers an example that really resonates is the Rome (Italy) Escalator Incident of 2018. Because of the cost and inconvenience of maintenance, authorities illegally disabled monitoring systems, tampered with safety systems, and pencil-whipped certifications. They got away with it too…until they didn’t…and an escalator seriously injured twenty people and put many more at risk. (No USAF endorsement, but Veritasium on YouTube just released a fascinating examination of this event)

A peace-faker can also be putting relationships ahead of mission, which sounds admirable but usually doesn’t serve either the relationship or the mission.

Peace-Breaking resolves a conflict with violence. Consider premeditated murder, where does that act start? There is planning (premeditated) involved, anger, decision, hatred, and first of all, conflict. A person who is a peace-breaker can also be called “confrontational” or “coercive.”

Assassinations fit into this category, instead of seeking resolution or middle ground, the decision is made to end the conflict using violence. Lesser styles of peace-breaking include attacking character instead of position (aka ad hominem), nit-picking, firing, and yelling.

It might feel like this ended the conflict, but if the other person or persons are just afraid of you, or avoid you, or retaliate against you, then you’ve added to the conflict. One of the best tests of this style is a quote by Colin Powell, “The day your people stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

Peace-breakers put the mission ahead of relationships, which works for a little while, until neither relationships nor mission are intact.

Peace-Making begins with the idea that conflict can not only be mitigated, but resolved. Having your own desires and hopes and wants is not wrong, but they will give you opportunities to resolve conflict with people whose desires, hopes, and wants are different than your own. This is not a bad thing.

We see this in world history such as after World War II, when the United States was not just not at war with West Germany and Japan, but were actively sharing resources and friendship with nations that just a few short years before were seeking each other’s destruction. My favorite peace-maker in modern history was Joshua Chamberlain who called his conquering army to salute the surrendering army, reminding soldiers on both sides that they were Americans all, and one country once again. On smaller scales I am a huge proponent of marriage counseling, having watched several cases of people who hated each other come to similar points of views and begin thriving with and loving each other.

Tools we have for peace-making are humility, forgiveness, apology, reconciliation, and—for bigger conflicts—counseling, negotiation, mediation, and arbitration. All of these have one major thing in common, they communicate through the conflict.

Peace-makers strive to heal relationships without losing sight of goals, recognizing that people perform the mission, and the mission is meant to benefit people.

Sometimes the line is not so easily drawn, such as for 20 years we employed a nuclear missile called the “Peacekeeper” which assured mutual destruction if nuclear weapons were launched. Was that peace-making or peace-breaking or peace-faking? Similarly, many decision makers have made the argument that by killing high profile peace-breakers like Saddam Hussein and Ayman Al-Zawahiri they have made the world a safer—more peaceful—place; have they succeeded? Can you make peace while preparing for war?

How About You? Most times our conflict style is easily defined, so who would you say you are? Are you confrontational? Avoidant? Or reconciliatory? Has it been good for your relationships? Your missions and priorities? Which would you want to be? How can you grow in that direction?

I’ll conclude with a trend I and other chaplains have seen. With the advent of the internet it is likely that you’ve seen traumatic things that you may not have intended to see, such as the recent and very traumatic shooting of Charlie Kirk. Many people have been seeking chaplains and other helping agencies to talk about their revulsion of seeing such a horrible video. If you’re struggling with things you’ve seen, I want to say that it is natural and good to have a revulsion to those things; I’m much more worried about people who can see things like that and have no moral injury. Your next steps in healing could be talking about it, solidifying your own morals, processing the events spiritually and ethically, and if necessary, seeking deeper counsel from someone you trust. I don’t have a monopoly on hope, but I would be honored to work through it if need be.

Last, an optional offer: one of my friends who is an author wrote a booklet about understanding suffering from a Christian perspective. I just learned that Charlie Kirk received a copy some months ago and talked about how much it impacted him and he called it “terrific”. I’ve been giving this book out for years, I have about 80 in my office if you’d like one, just let me know and I’ll get you a copy.

I’m honored to be your chaplain, and I hope together we can be peace-makers that both us, our nation, and our progeny can be proud of.

Soul Mx - Yes, If

This is part of a series shared ecumenically with members to whom I was assigned; the goal was to start conversation and deep thought, and many of these messages led to great conversations.

Yes, If
Original Publication Date: 20 August 2025

I heard a story about an American who visited Bucharest shortly after the fall of the Soviet Union. He observed an old man in his hotel painting a piece of furniture in the lobby, though after only a couple of paint strokes he would disappear into a nearby room, then return after a few seconds to apply a few more brush strokes, then another trip to the nearby room. It piqued the American’s interest so much that he had to investigate, and he found that the paint was in one room, and the furniture was in the lobby. The storyteller recounted that under the Communist regime that innovation, questioning, and individuality were frowned upon and the old man had learned to do as he was told, not to ask questions, not to move anything, not to innovate in any way, but to accomplish the task he’d been given.

No, Because

When you live under and perpetuate a culture where the answer is always “No, because…”, you stifle growth in yourself and your people. Have you ever been in a situation where the expectation is if you ask anything, good or bad, the answer is going to be “no, because…”

I’ll give an example from the maintenance world, there is a part (Air Cycle Machine) in the F-22 that is heavy enough to be a two-man lift. It’s also impossible to get two people under to remove from the airplane, so it requires a crane. Many years ago someone asked the ingenious question if we could build a T-handle so that two people could lift it out of the aircraft instead of using the crane. The answer was, “No, because if that would work the manufacturer would have already given it to us, and because the approvals and Technical Order Change Request (TOCR) would take forever.” I watched that one answer stifle creativity and innovation and morale in the entire shop. Later we did get engineer support and metals-tech buy-in and the tool was well on its way to approval when I left the F-22 program, because it was an awesome idea.

When we say “No, because…” we give a definite denial, and in most cases that’s not good for anyone. Time constraints and legal concerns are the only time I can think of where we’d want to use “No, because the AFI expressly forbids it” or “No, I can’t train you right now because this line needs to fly in five minutes and lives depend on it.”

Yes, If

A much better response provides a conditional approval, and puts the responsibility on the asker to make good decisions. From the Bucharest story, perhaps the helpful answer would be, “Yes, you can move the paint closer to the furniture, if it will make you a more efficient painter and you make provisions not to spill paint on the carpet.”

“Yes, if” gives hope and opportunity, fosters innovation, and gives people a stake in the success of the project. It’s better for everyone involved, even if the “if” is impossible, such as if the budget cannot support or the task proves impossible, then the “if” is saying no, not you.

I want to encourage you that this should be your default answer. I’ve spoken with a half-dozen Airmen across the base in the past month who feel they are not being mentored or trained, and who get shut down every time they ask a question. If someone asks you for help, consider saying, “Yes, if you’ll check out tools and pay attention and ask questions and your supervisor agrees.” It puts the onus on them to make it easy for you to say yes, but your willingness to say yes is there.

“Yes, if” also serves to keep you from being perceived as the bad guy. At my last base I had someone ask to do something that amounted to money-laundering; it would have been easy to yell and berate, but instead I said, “You for sure can do that, so long as you are prepared to spend years in prison and be an Airman Basic for the rest of your life.” They got the point and considered the legality of their request and came up with a better, even legal, plan.

My crowning achievement as a supervisor was “Airman Drive Fridays” where I’d give the radio, board, and (if they had a flightline driver’s license) the expediter van to someone who was years from being an expediter. Many great experiences came from that, but I’ll always remember a Friday where my Pro-Super (who is a Chief now) and I were talking about our low-manning on that particular day. I told him I was going to put an Airman in the seat for “Airman Drive Fridays”, and he said, “Well then it better be TSgt fixes airplanes and takes out the trash Friday.” His point was taken, he wanted me to have latitude to run my shop, but not to hinder the mission, it was “yes, if” without using those exact words. At the end of the night when I took out the trash he laughed and said he didn’t really mean it, but if that’s what it took to get to yes, it was worth it.

I’m not perfect at this, but I was beyond proud when the phrase, “find a way to yes” ended up on my going-away plaque (which I didn’t write) from my previous assignment.

Make It Easy for Me to Say Yes

Consider this when asking for a yes: how can you anticipate those “if” questions? An example we’re all familiar with is taking leave; your training and IMR have to be up to date and the manning of the shop has to be able to compensate. Therefore “Can I take leave?” is not so good as, “I’m up to date on TFAT and IMR, so-and-so will be here to take the reins on these dates, can I take leave?”

I don’t know if it’s my old-age or just a general frustration, but I find myself responding more and more these days with, “Go think this through and come back when you’ve made it easier for me to say yes.” I think about that every time I ask for something, have I made it easy for them to say yes? Have I anticipated the “if” questions?

Conclusion

It’s easy to say “no”. But that’s not good for you or your people. It will take practice to get closer to “Yes, If” and getting to a yes, but I promise it will be worth it. The real benefit of having a default yes answer is you’ll be more approachable, people will enjoy working for and with you, and you get to watch people grow in amazing ways. Many leadership books and examples abound, and they all agree that “yes” drastically improved the cultures of their organizations.

Can you think of any times that “no, because” hindered you or “yes, if” encouraged you? How about Air Force examples? We’re the greatest Air Force in the world, and the innovation that has brought us to this point was built on a lot of “yes, if” answers, and if we continue to innovate and own the skies, it will be because a lot of “yes, if” answers are in our future.

Here’s the question I know is on your mind, “Chaplain, can we get together either in your office or for a meal to discuss this or another topic I’ve been wanting to talk about?”

Yes, if you reach out and we schedule it!

Soul Mx - Opportunity is Earned

This is part of a series shared ecumenically with members to whom I was assigned; the goal was to start conversation and deep thought, and many of these messages led to great conversations.

Opportunity is Earned
Original Publication Date: 28 July 2025

Air Force Recruiting recently posted a somewhat humorous advertisement using 2nd Lt Braeden Holcombe, an Olympian specializing in jumping hurdles. The caption is, “There is no limit to who you can become as an Airman.” While Lt Holcombe’s achievement is absolutely amazing, I had to chuckle at the caption because having just come off of foot surgery, there is a definite limit: I will never again be able clear a single hurdle, let alone compete in the hurdles or steeplechase.

But, the quote did inspire me, because while I can’t vouch for “no limit”, I can say that there are amazing opportunities presented to each of us in the Air Force. Here’s the downside, we have to reach out and lay hold of them, they don’t just fall in our laps. Nobody made Lt Holcombe seize his opportunity, but he earned the opportunity given.

A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work. Opportunity is earned, not given. ~ Colin Powell

The problem with opportunity is the old adage, “it only knocks once,” and many times we don’t answer. The main thing I’d like you to get from this message is when opportunity knocks is to at least ask, “Whose there? What do you want with me?” if you don’t fling open the door.

Sorry (not sorry) for the length of this newsletter, I got fired up writing it and couldn’t bear to cut anything.

Education

When I used to host an FTEC breakfast, I would ask our newest Airmen for the reasons they joined, I found it was easier to get a show of hands for the big reasons: “To see the world?” “To get out of a bad situation?” “To serve your country?” "Family tradition?" “To get an education?” Education always had 75%+ hands raised, and education is a great recruiting tool. But I meet Airmen everyday who joined to go to school, but have failed to seize that opportunity, some have even retired. If you joined to go to school, but your priorities changed, that’s one thing, but if you just haven’t stepped out to pursue education, to work on a certification, license, or degree, fortunately that opportunity is most likely still open to you. You've earned that opportunity, TAKE IT!

Like many, I joined to go to school, and the Air Force has spent a ridiculous amount of money and time to send me to school, much of it while working 10- or 12-hour shifts on mids on the flightline. I thought the door was finally closed to further educational opportunities, but I was just offered and received a grant for a Masters in Leadership, and am now enrolled in 1 class a term. If this old worn out chaplain can do it, you have no excuse; if you think you have an excuse, I want to hear it.

Encouragement

One of the 5 Love Languages is “Words of Encouragement”, I’ll be honest, it used to be my least favorite, until I had a boss who was an expert at it. I almost came to expect that after an especially difficult midnight emergency call or a big event that within a couple hours I’d get an encouraging text. When he PCS’d I realized how much those messages meant to me. They were timely.

Encouraging people can be hard if you’ve never done it, but I’m confident you can learn. Be specific, “When you did specific thing, I appreciated your specific attributes.” It’s as easy as that. Here’s a real example I used from last week, “When you figured out that money snafu that would have wrecked this chapel event, I appreciate how you never give up and recognize how important these events are to Airmen.” A little encouragement can go a long way to building up people.

Apology

Apologies should be timely as well, the opportunity for reconciliation can fade quickly, so if there is someone you need to apologize to, do it soon. The power of an apology to heal relationships, clear the air, and bring peace cannot be overstated.

Correction

I’ve always loved the “on-the-spot correction” model, that if you see something, say something immediately. I was out on a training-op in the middle of the night with the Army before I became a chaplain, and unbeknownst to many of us, the lead Humvee missed a turn; a few miles later we came to an unexpected fork in the road, then we spent an hour an a half parked (as targets if it was real-world) trying to fix our navigation. Maybe the lead Humvee learned something from the observer letting them miss that turn, but I know the rest of the convoy learned nothing but frustration.

We also have the opportunity to accept correction. People who ignore correction only heap up paperwork and consternation from their leadership, and don’t grow. The next time you’re corrected, accept it as a opportunity to do better, not to get mad at the one correcting you.

    Every challenge is an opportunity to lead, grow, and make a difference. ~ JoAnne Bass

Mentorship

You can try to mentor people at your last base, but it’s much easier to mentor people right in front of you. Often that door closes, yesterday was the 15-year remembrance of a good friend taking his life, I'd give anything to be able to reach back and say more to him.

Similarly, you can reach back for mentorship, but the leaders in front of you are timely, focused, and available. PCS’s and time will steal your opportunity to be an effective mentor or be mentored. When the opportunity presents itself, grab on and run with it! I’m looking forward to taking an aspiring chaplain candidate to lunch next week to see if I can help to get him to be one of our newest chaplains. He’s driving in from Amarillo, and I’m glad he’s taking that opportunity.

In mentoring, you're giving others opportunities to succeed. I can trace much of my Air Force (and life) success to one man, MSgt Brian Payne, who gave me an opportunity to deploy as a 3-level when I'd only been on base for all of 5 days (when he signed me up). I hope there are Airmen who would put my name in that “success” category, and I hope you’re living your life so there are many who would put your name in that category.

All of Life

Other opportunities exist in volunteering, special duties, tiger teams, one-off jobs, etc. One of my favorite lessons I taught FTEC Airmen was “Volunteer for Everything.” I need to dust that training off and get it to you.

It also applies to your personal life, I drove 2 hours one way to take my-now-wife on our first date, having no idea if it would work out. Our local schools, nursing homes, zoos, parks, hospices, etc. would love to have your help if you so desire opportunities to invest in the community. If you can't say, "Yes, absolutely!" to opportunity, at least consider "Yes, if." (That's probably the next Soul Mx topic).

I spoke to a young family who is doing awesome work in the Eastern New Mexico community fostering babies; I’m glad they’ve seized that opportunity while they're stationed in Eastern New Mexico.

Conclusion

Opportunities abound, the best time to take them is when they first knock; if you missed that opportunity, the second best time is right now. There is risk involved, but nothing ventured, nothing gained; get out there are take some risks to pursue opportunity, and let me know if and how it was worth it.

Soul Mx - Bullets, Beans, Bandages, and Training

This is part of a series shared ecumenically with members to whom I was assigned; the goal was to start conversation and deep thought, and many of these messages led to great conversations.

Bullets, Beans, Bandages, and Training
Original Publication Date: 13 June 2025

If you checked the news this morning you saw that Israel struck Iran last night and is bracing for a counterstrike. From a chaplain/spiritual standpoint I’m addressing this because I had five conversations in the squadron yesterday when this was just a rumor, and a couple more this morning; if seven of us are thinking about this, that’s a trend, and worth addressing. All of those conversations touched on preparedness, uncertainty for the future, and personal responsibility.

 

Being Air Commandos, you are more aware than the average Airman or American that the world is a dangerous and unstable place. It’d be easy to sit in our cozy corner of New Mexico and ignore that there are people in the world would do great harm to others if given the chance, but if we ignored those signs, we wouldn’t prepare for the challenges of the future, and we’d lose.

 

When hostilities commence, LRS likes to say, “We can send you more bullets, beans, and bandages.” But what they can’t send you is more training or preparedness; what you have available on the day you need it is what you’ve got. I had a Command Chief whose motto was, “Stay Ready to Be Ready!” Every time I heard her say that, I was reminded of one of Aesop’s Fables, called “The Wild Boar and the Fox”. Because the copyright ran out about two-and-a-half millennia ago, here it is in full:

 

A Wild Boar was sharpening his tusks busily against the stump of a tree, when a Fox happened by. Now the Fox was always looking for a chance to make fun of his neighbors. So he made a great show of looking anxiously about, as in fear of some hidden enemy. But the Boar kept right on with his work.

“Why are you doing that?” asked the Fox at last with a grin. “There isn’t any danger that I can see.” 

“True enough,” replied the Boar, “but when danger does come there will not be time for such work as this. My weapons will have to be ready for use then, or I shall suffer for it.” 

Preparedness for war is the best guarantee of peace. (Source/Translation by the Library of Congress)

 

When I initially think of staying ready I think of maintaining our base, our CV-22s and MQ-9s, our tools, our upgrade training, and keeping our readiness trackers green. While important, that is just a piece of our mission and life. There is so much more to prepare for and grow into to get ready for the challenges that lay ahead. I gave a brief recently to a group of deployers and I mentioned that I trusted that they were well trained to do the job the Air Force assigned to them. One NCO in the audience beamed at this statement. But then I mentioned that I was less convinced they were all ready to spiritually face the challenges ahead; I don’t know why, but that NCOs countenance fell.

 

How about you? Are you ready if you’re called upon tomorrow? How are you preparing yourself spiritually today so you can face challenges tomorrow? Is your perseverance honed? Are your tusks sharp?

 

I’ve asked NDI for a “Hope Scanner”, something that can non-destructively measure how spiritually fit you are. It would make my job a lot easier, but so far they haven’t delivered, so we’ve got to self-analyze.

 

I’d like to encourage you today to consider what you believe about where you came from, why you’re here, and what happens after you die. For First Amendment reasons it’s not right for me to impose any answers, but studies have shown if you can answer those questions, no matter your answers, and you’re involved in a community, then all of your spiritual fitness measurements will increase (There’s much more to the studies than that, but that’s the gist). When it comes to war, we don’t want a fair fight; we want the best equipment, the best training, the best support, and the best chance of coming home physically intact. I want you to equally improve your chances of coming home spiritually intact with no regrets, and for you to bring home your Wingmen in the same great shape.

 

A battlefield chaplain can potentially help you do that, just like a CV-22 can save the day by bringing in the Bullets, Beans, and Bandages in the heat of the moment; but you’ll be in a much better place if you can figure it out now before you need it. Standing by if I or SrA Darst can help!

 

“Stay Ready to Be Ready!” ~ CMSgt (R) Rochelle Hemingway