The Power to Destroy

Introduction

Raising boys has made my wife and I realize that there are many differences between little boys and little girls. Indeed, as the old adage says, “A little boy is the only thing God can use to make a man.” One of the blessings of children is the theological truths you learn as you watch them grow. I want to share one such truth I’ve learned through my sons, I’m going to post it in three installments.

Little boys crave power. They want to feel powerful, be powerful, and be recognized for being powerful. Knowing this truth has changed the ways we’ve watched our sons grow and how we try to channel their energy for good. Titus Haddon, our littlest boy, is a perpetual sermon illustration, especially concerning power. He loves to destroy things, he loves to use words that hurt, but he also loves to help in meaningful ways, and – when he understands what the final purpose is – he loves to build things.

I would like to introduce you to three stages of power and how they relate to us, and how they relate to our Creator, and how we can grow in each of these. These three are the power to destroy, the power to preserve, and the power to create. This first installment will focus on the power to destroy.

1. The Power to Destroy

All children – especially boys – realize early that they have the power to destroy order and hurt people through their actions. Kicking, biting, and smashing are all ways which children can express their anger and frustration. As they grow they will also start to use words. “The tongue truly is a small member, yet it boasts of great things! How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness” (Jas 3:5-6).

It is no surprise that the power to destroy is the first thing little sinners learn and grasp. A tiny person who feels like they have no power sees their parent reel when they use a hurtful word, and they realize they do have a tool to inflict as much rage as they are feeling. Studies on troubled children – specifically those with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – also point at the power children feel is using excrement and fire to multiply their power.

The power to destroy is established in the antithesis of what God is doing in the universe, “the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10).

But even in this role our power is limited, for Christ warned, “do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matt 10:28). God’s power is perfect, but it is not capricious, for when you see God destroying something it is after much patience that he executes judgment, and it is never solely for the sake of demonstrating his power: but as a warning, as a means of blessing his church, and to purify his creation (cf Gen 6:13, Lev 23:30, Ps 58:10-11, 2 Pet 3:10-11).

Being made in the image of God we also have the power to destroy for good. We have the power, given through the Holy Spirit, to cut off sin, such as John Owen warned, “Be killing sin, or it will be killing you.” We have the power to discipline sinful habits out of tiny people and to administer correction when they err. And while we have the power to lash out, we must restrain ourselves like God, and leave vengeance up to him, for he is far better at it than we ever could be.

Finally, destruction should be used to clear the path for rebuilding. We should not – like certain nations have recently done – topple the government of a warring nation only to watch the populace devolve into anarchy. We must rebuild and maintain, which are topics for a future discussion.

The gospel in this is that we were without peace and without hope in the world when Christ laid down his life for us. He faced the full destructive power of his Father on the cross which otherwise would have been directed at us, and in our place he faced the crushing pain that we deserved.

He himself is our peace, who has made us both (Jews and Gentiles) one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility... ~Ephesians 2:14

So the next time your boys demonstrate their power through destruction you have two options:

1. Encourage them to voice their anger/disapproval in a different way.

2. Redirect their energy to destroying something that needs to be destroyed (cardboard is a great target!).