Better Chaplain Series - Have an Agenda

If you spend any time in worldly conversation, you’ll notice that the vast majority of dialogue doesn’t matter. Maybe they’re about sports, or the weather, or hobbies, but they have no real value in any lasting sense. Yet, there continues to be an appetite for “organic” counseling and conversation, where the hope is we’ll land on something valuable on accident, or as the relationship progresses.

I was in the Middle East some years ago (pre-GPS) and we got lost near dark, the driver panicked and started taking random turns. We finally got him to pull over and we tried to figure out where we were. We couldn’t backtrack because of the randomness and roundabouts, and as the sun set we lost all sense of direction. Fortunately we found one landmark that allowed us to figure out where we were, and that allowed us to use our maps to get to our destination.

How many conversations have you had that just followed the random twists and turns? Have you ever been in a conversation and asked, “How in the world did we get here?” A chaplain should always be steering the conversation and have a destination in mind; otherwise how are you ever going to get somewhere good? I love how Hershael York puts it,

I really don’t want anybody to be around me 15 minutes without knowing the two loves of my life—the Lord Jesus and [my wife].

The real goal is making it feel like an organic conversation that lands on eternal truths; taking some scenic turns and byways, always knowing where you’re trying to end-up with a plan on how to get there. I love hiking with the kids and popping out at the parking lot when they thought they still had miles to go. What a coincidence? Or was it dad with a GPS and a trail map?

Take control of the conversation, and remember what Heath Lambert says,

Counseling is either discipleship or evangelism.

How are you going to get to Jesus? What questions will make the person you’re talking to think about eternity? I ended a conversation (outside of chaplaincy) with someone recently and they said, “You really made me mad!” It wasn’t my goal to make them mad, and I would have preferred instant joy in them, but I rejoice that now the Holy Spirit has a seed planted in their heart which he can grow.

In a future article we’ll talk about making sure we share the truth in love, not with the end goal of making people mad.

More:

1. What did Paul mean when he said, “I endeavored to know nothing among you except for Christ and him crucified.” (1 Corinthians 2:2)? Can you say the same?

2. If faith comes by hearing, and hearing the word of Christ, who have you told?

3. Think back to a time when someone got right to the point with you: did that annoy you, or do you appreciate that person?

4. Further Resources:

Mohler, R. Albert. The Conviction to Lead: 25 Principles for Leadership That Matters. Bloomington: Bethany House, 2012.

York, Hershael. Pastor Well. Podcast. Louisville, KY: The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.