The Importance of Routine

We have an evening routine that goes like this:

1. Read

2. Sing (Hymnal or Otherwise)

3. Pray

4. Sing (Bedtime)

5. Hugs and Kisses

Having a routine is a hard thing to do. I am tempted to say, “In today’s day and age” but I believe routine has always been hard to do, and I won’t give you or I the excuse that our smart-phones are to blame. If we’re not redeeming our time and planning our lives then we have ourselves to blame first.

I am far from perfect in this regard, but I see the value in it. I recently heard someone say that the first step in teaching a boy to resist the temptation of pornography starts years before when we teach them that bedtime means bedtime. I see the truth in this, it is training a child in the way he should go, so that when he is old he will not depart from it.

Your routine doesn’t have to look like our routine, as long as it looks like your routine.

We start our bedtime routine about forty-five minutes before bedtime. We begin by reading something, future articles will address some of the books we’ve especially enjoyed and some different Bible devotionals, but the important thing here is that you are reading to your kids. This teaches them to sit down, focus their attention, and that there is more to learn and hear than mom and/or dad can offer in the world. I would only recommend to start that you pick something you agree with, but within only a few months I believe it’s fine to read books that need to be discussed.

Then, we sing a song or two. If I’m especially prepared then I’ll have something prepared that matches the reading, but I’m not usually that prepared. For example, we recently read about the Bronze Serpent lifted up in the wilderness and then sang “Set Your Eyes” by Jonathan and Emily Martin. We have two hymnals, the Baptist Hymnal, and Hymns of Grace, and we employ both regularly. We also assign each child a hymn that we have chosen for them, and then they usually choose one for themselves also. Our oldest daughter for example was assigned “Before the Throne of God Above” but she chose “Joy to the World” as her personal hymn. We usually allow dancing during the singing, but we really encourage singing along. Sometimes we throw in a silly song like Baby Shark or 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed (since that song is about our middlest daughter).

Then we pray about the events that happened that day and for the events coming up. The age of your kids and their discipline level will dictate how long your prayer is, as well as the other parts of your routine, but we usually keep ours less than two minutes as our kids are pretty young. Sometimes I encourage a child to pray, and if they leave some things unsaid then either Tina or I will pray. The routine of prayer is what is important, not necessarily what is prayed about.

Then we sing two songs, what is called the sleepy-time song and the doxology (Ironically the doxology was meant to start the day, but it works better as a bedtime song). In a future blogpost I’ll share the sleepy-time song which needs some revision, but the routine certainly tells the kids it is bedtime.

Finally, everyone is encouraged to love on each other and then we head for bed. All snacking/drinking/chores are expected to be accomplished before this routine so it should truly close out the day. I have experimented with visiting children in their bedrooms to review the day, and sometimes this is well received and other times it riles them up. Like I said, your routine should be your own.

These routines are doing more than establishing that it is bedtime. I hope that they will be fostering discipline, displaying order, ensuring there is a time for reading and prayer in the day, and encouraging bonding.

These especially help when one of us cannot be at bedtime, such as for work or other commitment. The routine doesn’t take the place of the absent parent, but it establishes a precedent that just because something is different, the plan is the same. God’s plan is perfect, and while our circumstances and location may change, our relationship with God and our worship should continue in Christ. Even when we need to fly through this routine in a few minutes it still has the desired effect of establishing bedtime.

When Daniel was in exile and the law came down that no-one could worship anyone other than the king, he did not hesitate to pick up his routine of praying (Daniel 6:10), because it was what he had trained himself to do, and it had fostered a courage in God that could not be shaken. I pray that my children will forever read their Bibles, sing praises to the true King, pray, and love each other, no matter what else in their life changes.