Soul Mx - Resolutions and Goals

This is part of a series shared ecumenically with members to whom I was assigned; the goal was to start conversation and deep thought, and many of these messages led to great conversations.

Resolutions and Goals
Original Publication Date: 18 December 2024

As we come up to the end of the year with all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, I thought this would be a perfect time to talk about priorities and goals. Many people will set New Years Resolutions in the next few weeks, and statistics show that many, if not most, of those will fail (The most optimistic studies say 43% fail, the most pessimistic say 92% fail, and the average is an 80% failure rate). With such high-failure rates, is it a bad thing to resolve to make changes for the better?

 

When we talk about fitness the measurement we like to use for positive development is growth. Spiritual Fitness is no different, and striving to grow as a person is a good thing. It’s not so easy to measure as lifting weights, or run times, or test scores, but that doesn’t mean it’s not measurable. I like to use the example of a newborn baby, they have practically no muscle mass, they can’t lift their heads, let alone bench-press anything, but within a few short weeks, months, years (the days are long, but the years are short) they are able to accomplish great things with the muscles they’ve gained. Similarly, if you’ve been around a newborn, you also know they were born with no self-control, patience, nor empathy, but given a few long years, they grow in each of those things. You and I likewise have far more growth in our lives than we did just a few short years ago, but I hope you’re not content with where you are and that you want to keep growing. Take a moment to think about where you’ve come from and some of the growth in your life.

 

As you think about the future, whether you make resolutions or not, consider where you are weak and how you need to grow. Don’t neglect any the pillars: physical, mental, cognitive (new this year, similar but different from mental), social, and spiritual. On the spiritual side, a list that many people in my faith tradition hold to is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

 

Which one of those (or insert your own) sounds like you need to grow the most? Maybe it’s one of those, or maybe it’s knowledge in your job, or preparing for future roles, or getting in better shape, or being a more intentional friend or supervisor. My personal goal over the next year is to finish a book that I’ve been talking about writing (and slowly working on) for at least four years.

 

I love the S.M.A.R.T. model of goal setting, that it should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable (Realistic), Relevant, and Time-Specific. Many resolutions fail because they are far too broad, they say, “I will get in shape.” Studies show that a broad goal can produce exactly the opposite effects. Far better is “Starting January 2nd I will spend at least 20 minutes every even-numbered day working out based on an established fitness plan, by March 15^th I will meet my strength (20% increase) and cardio (15% off my run time) goals. I will not give up if I miss a day or a few days.” Another example is, “I want to finish my CCAF.” Better is, “By February 1^st I will understand which classes I have left by talking to someone at the education office, by March 1^st I will have a school picked out, by April 1^st I will apply, by June 1^st I will be enrolled in a class towards my CCAF, and by August 1^st I will know my graduation date.” Maybe those dates get significantly changed along the way, but that’s part of growth too.

 

I often hear “I want to get deeper into my faith.” Far better is “I will seek out a mentor or peer who has the same goal for me/us and will hold me accountable to a plan we make together to be more intentional, faithful, and loving.” One that stands out from years ago was someone who said, “I’m going to come every day at 0630 before work to study with you.” It was specific, but it wasn’t realistic, and it didn’t last a week.

 

Occasionally we hit goals without being S.M.A.R.T. about them, but like I talked about on training day, that’s a dangerous place to be because you were rewarded without doing the right thing. When we aim at a high and lofty goal, even when we don’t attain our goal we accomplish great things. But a well thought out goal is unlikely to miss. I have a couple of enlisted Air Commandos on base right now that I’m helping to hopefully become future chaplains; it is a long road to walk, but as I’ve been seeking to encourage them I am constantly reminded that improving yourself is never a waste, even if you don’t attain your ultimate goal.

 

Standing by to help you set priorities and goals for next year. And I’ll close with another open invite: my home is open on Christmas if you have no where else to go, reach out via e-mail, phone, or in-person for details.