Spiritual Lessons from the Baseball Field

Introduction

Twelve 7–10 year-olds looked up to me this baseball season as their coach. My family walked into baseball this year hoping to make some friends in the community, introduce our kids to a team sport, and invest in our neighbors. Through some unexpected and tragic circumstances I ended up coaching my oldest daughter’s team, and I filled in to varying degrees for two other teams.

As I scrambled to remember fundamentals and coaching techniques, I realized I wanted to teach my team more than just baseball this year. It would have been easy to leave coaching to “step-and-throw”, “your glove is your force field”, "finger's up, thumb down", and “keep your back foot planted and elbow up,” but that would have only served these kids on the field. As the season progressed I built up five principles that were meant to serve them on the baseball diamond, but even better and longer for their whole lives.

Here they are in order of importance.

1. Do your best! It is popular to hear, “The most important thing is to have fun!” But that is not the most important thing; if having fun is the most important thing then when you stop having fun, you stop playing baseball. Both my team and other teams lost kids early in the season who weren’t having fun and walked off the field. We played an early season game at 34 degrees Fahrenheit, and we played a late season game at 100 degrees. Neither was comfortable, but we weren’t out there to have fun, we were out there to do our best, and it was a huge blessing to be able to say to the kids that I watched them do their best in the extreme cold and the extreme heat.

I love the saying, “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” If there is a benefit in us being on the field and supporting our team, then that benefit exists if we’re freezing or sweating, having fun or crying, winning or losing.

I hope I always remember the look of epiphany when I watched my short-stop hold a baseball while trying to make the decision of where to throw it, ultimately not throwing it anywhere; I told him, “I’d rather you make a wrong decision than no decision.” I was parroting Theodore Roosevelt, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” Later in the season he made an excellent play, a perfect throw to third base, only to realize there was no play at third base. I lauded his effort because he fielded and disposed of the ball quickly; knowing where to throw it will come in the future.

2. Support your team! Like most leagues, some of my kids had been playing baseball for years, and some had brand new gloves that they didn’t even know how to wear. It is a beautiful thing watching elementary kids calling out encouragement to their teammates and cheering them on, coaching their fundamentals and being patient with their foibles. Baseball has been called the ideal team-sport because you cannot win—or lose—a baseball game on your own, it requires the efforts of the entire team to see success.

Watching a third-grader realize this on the pitcher’s mound when one of his teammates botched a play was priceless. He understandably criticized his teammate; but I was in position to explain to him that you have to help each player to succeed, teach them to field, and back them up, because your team is only as strong as the weakest player. That remark, early in the season (maybe second or third game) was the last disparaging comment that I heard come out of any of my players’ mouths.

Next year I hope to rope my team parents into this and get them investing not just in their own kids but all of the players on the field. Late in the season I started employing young family members as base-coaches, which provided an excellent opportunity for team growth and involvement.

No-one can win a baseball game on their own, so always look for ways to improve your teammates, whether that is your family, friends, schoolmates, or coworkers!

3. Have Fun! I thought about calling this one, “Attitude is everything,” but decided to stick with the language from “the most important thing is to have fun” by pointing out that we should be enjoying ourselves, but not to the detriment of our team or our efforts when we’re not. I remember my first two years of baseball were on the dead-last team in the league, yet I always remember enjoying playing with my team. This made it oh so sweet when our third year we showed marked improvement and were the only team to give the first-place team an L (for Loss) that year.

It’s easier to have fun when you know you and your teammates are trying your hardest. I watched one of my kids rocket a line-drive into the waiting glove of the third baseman, I watched another do everything he could to beat out a play at first base only to be out by half a step, and I cheered on kids who bounded balls half way into the infield who previously couldn’t even make contact. Their smiles showed that they appreciated their improvement and effort, and it made for everyone having a better game and season.

4. No Walking on a Baseball Field! The rules of baseball don’t say anything directly about moving with a purpose (except maybe the ambiguous “delay of game” or “pace of game” rules), however it has been a long unwritten rule to “hustle up.” This isn’t just to make the game less boring, it helps with doing your best. It may be summed up, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”

I reminded one meandering coach about this unwritten rule, and then thought about how much better so many things in life would be if everyone moved with a purpose and did the job they were there to do. Now, granted, in baseball the kid’s have paid to be there, but most of them don’t know that. If we can ingrain the idea that doing our best is separate from how much fun we're having, money we're making, or glory we're reaping, then we’ll do great things in life.

5. Safety isn’t First! It doesn’t take much imagination to see so many communities, societies, work-places, and people succumbing to the temptation to become risk-averse and facing extreme consequences because of it. The baseball field is not immune, and I heard several comments along the lines of protecting yourself from harm rather than making a good play. Now, I certainly do not want kids to needlessly get hurt, but avoiding the risk of pain in baseball is almost certainly going to cause you to fail at the previous four principles.

After-all, a baseball in this league might come at you in excess of fifty mph, or a bat for that matter, or a tag might be a little excessive. My own daughter sat out half an inning tending to a bloody nose when she was tagged out at home in the face. Several players stopped balls with their sternums, more than one catcher limped off the field after finding their padding covers a lot, but it does not cover everything.

I awarded a “perseverance award” at the end of the season to the player who got hurt the most without quitting. With no bias at all—purely statistics—this person actually was my daughter.

Kids who slid into base, were hit by grounders (or the occasional pitch), or who were bruised in some other way were encouraged to walk-it-off and “get back in there”, and it was a tremendous blessing to watch them push through the pain, assess the risk, and realize that great risk brings great rewards.

Conclusion

In conclusion, none of my kids got trophies or medals at the end of the season, but they all improved vastly at baseball, and were invested in by some great adults and kids, and the lessons they learned will serve them well throughout the rest of their lives.

 I hope you, dear reader, will always remember that having fun and staying safe are not the most important things, but that setting your eyes on the prize, deciding to try your best, and pushing through the pain will serve you and those who are served by you when the glory of who had the most W’s and the least L’s fades.

Note: I’ve purposely left this article more on the baseball side for copy/paste/quoting, but I do especially want to encourage you to “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and his righteousness, and everything else will be added to you,” and “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. . .Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

The "Just Say No" Game

I’m reading a tremendous book by Robert Wolgemuth right now called, She Calls Me Daddy. I recommend this book for all of you with daughters. My biggest takeaway (and there have been many) is something he calls the “Just Say No” game. This has borne fruit in my life already and I hope it bears much fruit in the lives of my family.

What this game is is the opportunity throughout the day to just say "no" to something, whether good or bad or indifferent, because it’s teaching your flesh that it’s not in charge. Wolgemuth bears witness to the game's work in his daughter’s lives, that they would regularly report as young girls that they had purposefully said no to a snack or a fit of anger, and that it had grown with them to resist larger and larger temptations. He makes an excellent point that you should always praise an act of willpower, no matter how ridiculous it might sound, in youngsters.

So I’ve been trying it and encouraging others in my family to try it. I’ve been amazed, I have a bag of trail mix on the upper shelf of a cupboard right now. In the past this trail mix would not have lasted a day or more. Just because it’s there it seems like I have to eat it. But this week (yes, 7 days), I have only gone to it a few times for energy, which is what I intended it to be for when I bought it! Multiple other times I’ve found myself heading that way but questioning my intentions along the way and asking, “Do you need energy?” No. “Are you hungry?” No. “Are you on a hike?” No. Then the answer to the trail mix is “No.” The god that is my belly (Phil 3:19) screams at me, but you know what? He’s not the boss of me…at least not all the time…and hopefully less from this day forward. There are better things out there than a trip to the trail mix cupboard: for one, staying in some semblance of shape, but two, the weight of glory that I’m being prepared for through sanctification, and three, setting an example for my children to follow with this utterly biblical game.

If I have one minor quibble with She Calls Me Daddy is that though a lot of the principles are firmly found in scripture, Wolgemuth doesn’t give a scriptural reference for many of his principles. But even that has been a blessing for me because it’s caused me to think of my own prooftexts on why this little game is so powerful.

You know who else played the “Just Say No” game? Lots of great saints throughout history, that's who! Look at how Moses is described, “when he was grown up, [he] refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward (Hebrews 11:24-26).” He played the "Just Say No" game with some really ornate and valuable temptations, but we know he's received his reward (Mark 9:4)!

Who else? Paul, “I discipline my body and keep it under control (1 Cor 9:27, also pretty much the whole of chapter 9).” And “while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come (1 Tim 4:8).”

Others, like Saul, have good intentions at the outset, but every time a temptation comes around, they jump right into yes. Read 1 Samuel for dozens of examples, here’s one:

Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan [regarding the loyalty of David]. Saul swore, “As the LORD lives, he shall not be put to death!”…and David was playing the lyre…and Saul sought to pin David to the wall with the spear. ~2 Samuel 19:6,9-10

Think of others who failed at the “Just Say No” game: Demas (2 Tim 4:10), Judas (Matt 26:15), Solomon (Ecc 2:10-11),  Samson (Judges 14:3), Esau (Hebrews 12:16-17), Cain (Jude 1:11), Eve (Gen 3:6), Adam (Genesis 3:17), Lucifer (Isa 14:12-14)…

Time would fail me, beloved, to name every person we should emulate who said "no" to a fleeting pleasure, and every person we should use as a warning who gave in and said "yes."

But time must allow for the greatest example of this game. He reminds us that this game is not a game of competition. I’m not going to gloat over my wife if I say "no" to an egregious sin and she only says "no" to a smaller one. This is a race that we’re running together, when I discipline my flesh, she wins, and when she disciplines her spirit, I win, and vice versa. Because, if this were a competition we would all lose terribly to someone who played it perfectly.

Jesus of Nazareth was offered the whole world and an escape from the suffering that he was preparing for, “All these [kingdoms] I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me (Matt 4:9).” He was also tempted with salvation from the cross, “Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels (Matt 26:53)?” But he said "no" to the opportunity to gain the world without enduring the cross. And do you understand why he said "no?" Because if he had said "yes" to those temptations, not only would he have failed in his mission of perfect obedience to his Father, but he would have left us without a propitiation for sin. We would still be dead in our sins and trespasses, and without hope and without God in the world!

So he said "no," and the immediate pain and suffering and separation and cost were more dire than any of us can comprehend or ever will comprehend, but “for the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross, despised the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2).” Because Jesus said "no," to a temporary fleeting pleasure, you now have a perfect sinless Saviour who can wash away every one of your sins, make you complete, and give you his Holy Spirit to war against the flesh, and who is glorified forever as both Creator, Man, God, and Saviour.

Beloved, you are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, so "Just Say No" to every sin…those sins will cling tightly and easily, but you have a race to run, discipline to subject yourself to, an example to follow in Jesus, and an example to set for your imitators.

I love that Wolgemuth asked for weekly updates from his daughters. His reasoning was that if you can say "no" to a second cookie today, tomorrow you are prepared to say "no" to a besetting sin that will rob you of your joy and quite possibly your eternity (He didn’t quote it, but John 10:10 comes to mind).

I look forward to hearing ways that my children, my wife, and myself "Just Say No" to temptation in our lives. And beloved, if you play, and I pray you do, I’d love to hear your victories as well!

Listen Better - Part 4 of 7 - Take Every Thought Captive

Part 1 - Introduction
Part 3 - Read the Word

If you had the opportunity to listen to Jesus, what would you do? That’s not as clear-cut an answer as many of us would think. For example Peter—when given the opportunity to see Jesus in transfiguration and listen to God from Heaven—instantly distracted himself by asking questions (Mark 9:6).  Martha of Bethany likewise had the opportunity not just to hear from Jesus, but to have him in her house, and yet she distracted herself with much serving (Luke 10:40).

We do have the opportunity to listen to Jesus every Sunday, indeed every day, but many of us—nay all—distract ourselves in any number of ways. In order to be a better listener we need to, like Martha’s sister Mary, choose the good portion of listening to the Lord (Luke 10:41-42).

This is a cognizant decision we must make. I recently attended a conference where Richard Blackaby spoke, amid other points he warned ministers not to be so busy that they don’t get anything done. He mentioned a man who worked for him who was always running around in a tizzy. After some time Blackaby took stock of what the busy man actually did, and there was not a quantifiable level of work to justify keeping him as an employee. Blackaby sort-of-joked, but also very seriously quipped, that he could not afford to employ someone who kept so busy.

Many of us run into church this way, consumed with getting children and ourselves just perfect on the outside, making plans for lunch, making plans for dinner, trying to apply the sermon even before its preached, interacting with the nursery via text, updating social media with profound pastoral quotes, and just plain letting our minds wander.

There are two kinds of distraction in this world: Those you can correct and those you can’t.

If you are constantly distracted by the kid who sits in front of you, then do yourself a favor and correct that distraction by sitting in front of him. Last I checked, the front row is almost always open. Do your phone notifications break your concentration? Turn it off or leave it in the car. Is it too cold in the auditorium? Bring a jacket or talk to your friendly maintenance staff. That reminds me, maybe the distraction can be fixed, but not under your power. If it’s distracting you, it’s distracting others. Is the woman doing interpretive dance and playing her tambourine distracting from you concentrating on the Word of God? You need to talk to her, then the church leaders, and then maybe you need to find another church if the preaching of the Word is not central. Are cell phones always going off or people always coming in and out? Ask church leaders to address it from the pulpit: very few people in church are purposefully trying to steal your attention.

But, sometimes there are distractions you can’t fix. We recently had an electrical ground fail which induced a nasty feedback loop into our projector. During the entire time the projector was on it slowly scrolled a yellow line across the presentation. It’s fixed now, but over the months that it was present was the congregation excused from being attentive to the Word of God because they could not take that distraction captive? No, this is why Paul said not to take every distraction captive, but every thought!

Determine to remove as many distractions as you feasibly can, both for your sake and for the sake of your church. But also determine to be so attentive to God’s Word that even if distractions arise, they will not cause you to miss the good portion.

Identify that all distractions are transient but the things of God are eternal and you will focus on what is honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy!

Part 5 - Take Notes

Church Nursery Help for Inconsolable Children

We made this video to help church nursery workers console young children who are missing their parents and who need some reassurance that they'll be back, and that their emotions are understood.

If this song doesn't help then there is much more work to be done, consider a previous article, Pay Attention to Your Kids!

Please send any feedback, helps, or questions!

Pay Attention to Your Kids!

One of the most unexpectedly beneficial books I have read is called How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber. It is far from a biblical book, but it makes the point that many meltdowns from toddlers come from feeling not listened to and not being able to communicate.

That leads into this article, that one of the most important things we can do in our lives and for our children is focus our attention. I’m writing this article in the solitude of a café waiting for my next meeting at work, my attention is focused on writing. Human beings, despite our pride, are not—and never will be—good at multitasking. When I’m teaching or playing with my kids I make every attempt to be there fully, not pulled between work or my phone or writing. I recently attended an online conference for work and at several points I had to lock the door to the office because by dividing my attention between kids running in and the speaker on the screen led to both getting far less than even 50% of my attention.

Attention is so important in my life that I’m writing a dissertation on teaching it to the church. My primary text is Nehemiah 8, “And the ears of all the people were attentive to the Book of the Law…Ezra opened the book in the sight of all the people…and as he opened it all the people stood.” Long story short, the best way to hear God is by really being attentive to his Word, to remove distractions, and to realize the value in hearing, responding to, and applying it. This is reiterated over and over throughout the Bible, many preachers have pointed out that they have seminary degrees in preaching, but no-one ever receives a degree in listening, when the Bible teaches much more on listening than preaching (Boice, Piper, MacArthur, etc). Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear (Luke 8:8).”

The importance of undivided attention cannot be overstated when listening to the Word of God. But that is not the only place you should learn to focus your attention. When interacting with people it is important as well. A child who doesn’t feel listened to is a child who is prone to feel out of control, unloved, and hopeless. Try it the next time you have a temper tantrum, hold the child until they are calm, then work through what they wanted and see if you can’t figure out how they were asking for it. 

One of the greatest joys in our life was the day, not so long ago, when our twins learned to buckle their own car seats. This is only partial hyperbole, it truly is a burden lifted not to always be climbing into the back of the car to latch them in. On Wednesday my attentive wife pulled out of the driveway and Titus cried out, “Oh no! You’re driving!” and proceeded to lose his little mind. It took a few moments but my wife encouraged him to use his words and all he could get out was, “I’m going to die!” A little more prodding and she discovered that, “I’m not buckled!” She was then able to pull over and get the troublesome latch buckled and he did not, in fact, die.

Now, being attentive to your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, and your Saviour can play out in a million ways and I’m not going to try to—nor could I—give you an authoritative list of do’s and don’ts. But I will give you a couple and some principles.

Notice in Nehemiah 8 the full attention of the people led them to “stand up” when the Word was read. This was not, as some have surmised, “out of respect for the reading of God’s Word”, this was to focus their attention on what they were about to do. Always stop what you’re doing when something worthy of your attention arises. 

Always stand up when greeting someone, always put your phone down when someone asks you a question, pause your podcast and remove your headphones (both!) if you need to speak to someone, close out your last conversation/project before starting the next one. Don't be easily distracted from an important task or conversation.

My two-year-old is in the “Come with/Come see” stage and she lifts her little hand up and squeezes to say grab my hand! I don’t want to squash that in the least so I happily grab her hand and go see. Just because it might not be groundbreaking to me doesn’t mean it’s not important to her, and I want to be involved in her growth and let her know that I pay attention to what is important to her.

So, beloved, take every opportunity to be focusing your attention, reject multi-tasking, and love your kids by listening to them and participating in their lives.

A Brief Thought on Children's Devotionals

When it comes to children’s devotions or books on the Bible there are no lack of options, but unfortunately, finding a good one is a difficult task. Charles Spurgeon said, “It does seem to me as if some people say, ‘Here is a place of worship. There is sure to be a sermon, let us go in and hear it.’ Ah! but all that is preached is not Gospel and it is not all hearing that will be valuable to your souls.” It does seem to me that many people say, “Here is an illustrated book on the Bible for children, let’s open it and learn some truth.” But not all that is drawn or paraphrased is Gospel and not all children’s books are valuable for your children’s souls!

I'm writing this post to encourage you in my three favorite resources, and to warn you against one of the most popular.

The One Year Bible for Children – V. Gilbert Beers

First, by far the best from an under-10 year-old standpoint is The NLT One Year Bible for Children by V. Gilbert Beers. This is an illustrated book working through the Bible in chronological order over one year, it lays a good foundation of Bible stories and most importantly it continues to tell the Bible story in one contiguous narrative. Quotations are taken directly from the Bible and I’ve yet to find a devotion that was not biblical.

The illustrations are phenomenal, and I don’t use that word lightly. Even if you don’t have children I’d recommend this book purely from an artistic value. When Joshua led the Israelites across the Jordan River bed the painting clearly depicts dry dust coming up from the feet of those crossing. This level of detail is one that is repeated in many of the stories. It’s not my intention to tell you all of the awesome paintings in this book, but be sure there are many that will astonish you.

The application in the Old Testament is sometimes lacking, but the stories are always faithfully told. Many times the quality of the story has taken us to places that a wooden application would have constrained us in. For example, yesterday’s devotion was on the men who stayed back with the baggage when David destroyed the Amalekites. The application mentioned nothing about the different members of the body or the different members of the church or different roles we all fulfill, but that’s where we went and had an entertaining and beneficial conversation about if we were made up of only eyes or ears or feet.

The greatest failing is that Jesus is almost always left out of the Old Testament. Especially in the story of the Bronze Serpent lifted up by Moses I though that Beers should have at least mentioned that the story was quoted in John 3. I could almost defend him however, that maybe he is considering that if children know the Old Testament reference then when they are reading the New Testament they will draw their own connections instead of being explicitly told about it.

So, I recommend this book with the caveat that you need to be prepared to share the application or at least help your children flesh out the Gospel story. Each lesson is short, ten minutes or less, but the quality of the content makes it beneficial if you only read it to your children, or if that reading leads into a much deeper conversation.

Long Story Short – Marty Machowski

The second devotional I recommend is Long Story Short by Marty Machowski. This book is for older kids, I’d say this one really works for kids over five, and that might be a tad too young. Long Story Short takes a single narrative and spends five days fleshing it out. This really drives the point of the story home and adds on it every day.

Parents, where this book is not easy is that you can’t just pick it up and go, it requires some preplanning and some sort of preparation. For example, one lesson requires you to have a trumpet or a kazoo (or anywhere in between) to blow at the walls of Jericho. I found this out after we started reading that particular devotional and had to scramble to make something work. Of course, the kids loved the trumpet played in the house and trying to make it make noise itself, but if you’re looking for a book you can just pick up at the end of the day and let it do all of the work, this book will not work for you.

I love the idea of this book and the depth, but I think five days is too long for a children’s devotional. When we pick it back up in a year or two we’ll modify it a bit, either compressing each story into three days, or intertwining them so that it’s not always the same story.

However, the emphasis on the Gospel is wonderful and it introduces children to the depth of Bible study in a way that is both fun, engaging, and most importantly, memorable.

Built Upon the Rock – Brooke Snyder

My third favorite is Built Upon the Rock: Devotions for the First Years by Dr. Brooke Snyder. Now, I have to confess that Dave and Brooke Snyder are dear friends of ours and our copy is not only signed, but was a gift. But, it is also masterfully written and comes with a passion for child rearing that is not manufactured just to write a book, but because the Snyder’s truly love their children and want them to know Jesus, and want to help you help your children known Jesus.

Built Upon the Rock is written on the premise that we don’t want there ever to be a time in our child’s life where they did not hear the name of Jesus in the home, or know the power of the Gospel.

Unlike the other two books, this is not a yearly devotional, but a collection of great ideas to teach deep spiritual truths to growing minds. However, Brooke identifies that if you take one devotional a week, it will cover a year. It has been several years since I read this book, and in writing this it has spurred me to read it again, but the truly important thing that I have taken away from this book is that you are never too young to be building a spiritual foundation.

Recently my kids were playing with playdough and because of this book I though it would be a great time to consider spiritual things. We grabbed a rock of similar size to a lump of playdough and took turns trying to form the rock and the playdough into something. Readily enough my kids learned the meaning of a malleable heart. But then we took that playdough and pulled it in every direction and learned why being too pliable, pulled around by every influence, is bad as well.

While I don’t think this is a devotion from the book, the idea of it certainly came from Brooke’s influence in my life, and for that reason I’ll be forever grateful.

In order to set your heart, dear parent, on spiritual training of your children, I recommend this book to you.

The Jesus Storybook Bible – Sally Lloyd-Jones

Arguably the most influential children’s devotional of recent times is The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sally Lloyd-Jones. This is one of my least favorite devotionals, and one I want to caution you from reading to your children.

First, though, the Jesus Storybook Bible does make a very good point that Jesus can be found in every story of the Bible. I know at least one person who has been deeply helped by this point and I am glad for that.

Second, some of the details are very useful, especially the mention of the little girl of 2 Kings 5:2 who sent Naaman to God's man for help. There are gleanings from this devotional.

However, the most important thing about this book is that it is NOT a Bible. It makes no effort to follow the biblical dialogue and regularly injects unbiblical language. Second, it is far from exhaustive, it spends a lot of time in the Pentateuch and a spackling through the prophets, but then BAM, you’re in the New Testament without any mention of the Bible that has been left out.

But most importantly, Sally Lloyd-Jones has arguably ridden into the lime-light on the power and credibility of her last name. Only recently has there been any discernible effort to make the distinction that she bears ZERO relation to Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones. Her theology, her writing, and her understanding of the Gospel fall far short of the Doctor.

Cody Libolt has written a masterful argument about this devotional and that the main theme of God’s glory, grace, and wrath is utterly missing from Lloyd-Jones’ book. I encourage you to read his article called, The Core Theme of the Jesus Storybook Bible is Wrong.

The Bible

Finally, I know more than one family who have opted to read from the source itself, the Bible, to teach children. Beloved, I think there is great wisdom in this, but also a great danger. The first time I tried to read the Bible I was sixteen and started in Genesis 1. I don’t think I got past about Genesis 5 before setting it down. Why? Because I was not spiritually discerned. Neither are our children. Keep that in mind as you take them through the Bible, they aren’t able or interested in knowing the nuances of who begot who or who married who or the exegetical jewels of the book of Leviticus, or the intricacies of eschatology.

My five year old, three year olds, and two year old don’t like steak. It blows my mind, if I cut it up really fine like it’s hamburger then they’ll eat it, but my five year old recently told her grandmother, “I don’t like steak, my daddy likes steak, but I don’t like steak.” She even made a terrible face to drive the point home...Thank God for her candor. My two year old, on the other hand, practically lives off of milk. She drinks so much milk you’d think she was a calf. This is exacerbated by the fact that she recently learned to fill up her own cup.

Conclusion

So, as you’re teaching your kids from the Bible or a devotional, keep in mind that the most beautiful fillet mignon of a Bible study served up to a toddler is going to end up picked at, discarded, and asking for a snack later. Whether you're cutting up the Bible yourself so that your kids can digest it, or you're hiring someone to help you, keep in mind that children think like children, so teach them in a way that they can grasp but that points them to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I like The One Year Bible, Long Story Short, and Built Upon the Rock because they have served up the Bible in small bite-size chunks for your kids to digest, enjoy, and move towards those meaty studies that will come later in their lives.

Daddy Tax!

Today marked an Easter Egg Hunt which provided each of our children with about 2lbs of candy. As they started to tear open wrappers and sort chocolates from sweets from sours from gum I saw my chance. Not just my chance to have some candy, but my chance to instill a lifelong lesson on generosity and the source of all good things.

“Daddy Tax!” I declared as I picked out some of my favorites from the candy buckets. Only the littlest one looked at me with a scowl before it quickly melted into a smile. All of the rest know the routine.

I’ve been doing this for a while, but I’ve been consistent in it since early 2016 when we were providing care for a five year old girl. She asked for a snack and I happily gave her some gummies and Goldfish®, then, out of habit, I said, “Daddy Tax”, and helped myself to a few fish and gummies from her plate. Her wrath was quickly kindled, “Hey! That’s mine.” Words fail me to describe her meltdown that ensued. After gaining some semblance of calmness I asked, “Did you pay for these?” “No.” “Did you go to the store and bring them home?” “No.” “These aren’t yours, these are mine, and I’ve decided to give you some because I care about you.”

This is a vital lesson to teach your children, that everything they have, from their snacks and candy all the way to the air they breathe belongs to God. Not a single thing we have has come from a source other than God. He explained during the rebuilding of the temple that it wasn’t small or unassuming because God couldn’t afford a better temple, but because it’s what he intended, “The silver is mine, and the gold is mine (Haggai 2:8).” Elsewhere this is reiterated, “He is not served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything (Acts 17:25).”

You may come up with a better name than I have, I tried variations on “tithing” but they just didn’t stick for the kids. It is meant to be silly and fun in one sense, but it is also meant in another sense to turn their hearts to the realization that is God who gives them every good thing.

After Notre Dame burned earlier this week over $1B was pledged to the rebuilding. There was some very strange entitled backlash against those pledges. Some said, “The fact that billionaires have pledged…to fix it just really puts into perspective how easily rich people could help solve world issues if they cared (cited from the Public Domain).” I hope to be teaching my children that the problem with the world is not a lack of stuff or money or food, because God has lavished on us every thing we need, but the problem with the world is a matter of hearts that rebel in every way against Heaven and put their hope in everything but God.

My children’s problem (and yours and mine) is that our natural heart inclination is that we can be sufficient in and of our own selves, that if we only had more, owned more, knew more, lived more, were given more, held onto more...then we would be happy. "Daddy Tax" is one effort to teach that every good gift we have comes from above, and that God gives us much more than we can ask or imagine. If he gave us his Son will he not give us graciously all things?

For further reading, see 2 Corinthians 8 and 9!

You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way! ~ 2 Corinthians 9:11

The Importance of Routine

We have an evening routine that goes like this:

1. Read

2. Sing (Hymnal or Otherwise)

3. Pray

4. Sing (Bedtime)

5. Hugs and Kisses

Having a routine is a hard thing to do. I am tempted to say, “In today’s day and age” but I believe routine has always been hard to do, and I won’t give you or I the excuse that our smart-phones are to blame. If we’re not redeeming our time and planning our lives then we have ourselves to blame first.

I am far from perfect in this regard, but I see the value in it. I recently heard someone say that the first step in teaching a boy to resist the temptation of pornography starts years before when we teach them that bedtime means bedtime. I see the truth in this, it is training a child in the way he should go, so that when he is old he will not depart from it.

Your routine doesn’t have to look like our routine, as long as it looks like your routine.

We start our bedtime routine about forty-five minutes before bedtime. We begin by reading something, future articles will address some of the books we’ve especially enjoyed and some different Bible devotionals, but the important thing here is that you are reading to your kids. This teaches them to sit down, focus their attention, and that there is more to learn and hear than mom and/or dad can offer in the world. I would only recommend to start that you pick something you agree with, but within only a few months I believe it’s fine to read books that need to be discussed.

Then, we sing a song or two. If I’m especially prepared then I’ll have something prepared that matches the reading, but I’m not usually that prepared. For example, we recently read about the Bronze Serpent lifted up in the wilderness and then sang “Set Your Eyes” by Jonathan and Emily Martin. We have two hymnals, the Baptist Hymnal, and Hymns of Grace, and we employ both regularly. We also assign each child a hymn that we have chosen for them, and then they usually choose one for themselves also. Our oldest daughter for example was assigned “Before the Throne of God Above” but she chose “Joy to the World” as her personal hymn. We usually allow dancing during the singing, but we really encourage singing along. Sometimes we throw in a silly song like Baby Shark or 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed (since that song is about our middlest daughter).

Then we pray about the events that happened that day and for the events coming up. The age of your kids and their discipline level will dictate how long your prayer is, as well as the other parts of your routine, but we usually keep ours less than two minutes as our kids are pretty young. Sometimes I encourage a child to pray, and if they leave some things unsaid then either Tina or I will pray. The routine of prayer is what is important, not necessarily what is prayed about.

Then we sing two songs, what is called the sleepy-time song and the doxology (Ironically the doxology was meant to start the day, but it works better as a bedtime song). In a future blogpost I’ll share the sleepy-time song which needs some revision, but the routine certainly tells the kids it is bedtime.

Finally, everyone is encouraged to love on each other and then we head for bed. All snacking/drinking/chores are expected to be accomplished before this routine so it should truly close out the day. I have experimented with visiting children in their bedrooms to review the day, and sometimes this is well received and other times it riles them up. Like I said, your routine should be your own.

These routines are doing more than establishing that it is bedtime. I hope that they will be fostering discipline, displaying order, ensuring there is a time for reading and prayer in the day, and encouraging bonding.

These especially help when one of us cannot be at bedtime, such as for work or other commitment. The routine doesn’t take the place of the absent parent, but it establishes a precedent that just because something is different, the plan is the same. God’s plan is perfect, and while our circumstances and location may change, our relationship with God and our worship should continue in Christ. Even when we need to fly through this routine in a few minutes it still has the desired effect of establishing bedtime.

When Daniel was in exile and the law came down that no-one could worship anyone other than the king, he did not hesitate to pick up his routine of praying (Daniel 6:10), because it was what he had trained himself to do, and it had fostered a courage in God that could not be shaken. I pray that my children will forever read their Bibles, sing praises to the true King, pray, and love each other, no matter what else in their life changes.

Punishment Versus Correction

You should never punish your children. That is not a cunning statement, don’t read it any other way than it is written. You SHOULD NEVER punish your children.

We have a “Get Along Chair” sometimes called a “Work it Out Chair” where many a time you can find two or more of our children banished from their freedom in order to enjoy their sibling and talk in a reasoned and close conversation. Is that punishment? Heaven forbid they would equate spending time with one another and working through struggles as punishment!

If my children grow up to see that chair as punishment, then I will have failed. It is CORRECTION, DISCIPLINE, REPROOF, CHASTISEMENT, and it is meant to take an unacceptable behavior—such as disagreeing with your sibling and resorting to violence to get your way—and replace it with an acceptable behavior aimed at the heart—in this case talking through problems, recognizing that their relationship with their brother or sister is more important than a toy, and that reconciliation is better than strife. Likewise, your children should not see your discipline as punishment, and you ought not be punishing your children. The discipline of a parent should always be aimed at correcting behavior and emphasizing grace, mercy, and justice in the child’s life.

And what does God say about this? A lot, unsurprisingly.

First, punishment is not meant for correction, punishment is purely punitive and sums up the justice in the quip, “Justice is when we get what we deserve, mercy is when we don’t get what we deserve, and grace is when we get what we don’t deserve.” Every sinner deserves justice, and your children should know well the commands of Leviticus 20:9 and Deuteronomy 21:18-21 concerning the stoning of disobedient children. Justice demands punishment, but love covers a multitude of sins. Someone will or already has paid for your child’s sin, either your child will pay for it for eternity, or Jesus paid for it on Calvary. Note the way Jesus speaks of Hell, “and these will go away into eternal PUNISHMENT (Matt 25:46, emphasis mine).”

Next, punishment is not your job. “Vengeance is mine: I will repay (Rom 12:19, et al)!” says God. Your job is to describe God’s law, his grace, and his wrath and to provide goading correction along the way. Even if it were your job to punish your child, your punishment is weak and unjust and ineffective and incomplete and imperfect, Jesus said, “Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul, rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in Hell (Matt 10:28).”

Thirdly, your job is to keep your children from punishment. "It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the Living God (Hebrews 10:31)!" It is your job to teach them God's law and his grace so that they will hear and respond to the call of Jesus Christ to come. It is your job to teach them that there are consequences for disobedience and that someday God will no longer strive with them and that the patience of God is a temporary salvation granting them opportunity to find lasting salvation in the cross of Christ.

Lastly, punishment is not loving, it is entirely devoid of love and is entirely wrath, thank God that for all of the responsibilities he has bestowed on us, this is not one of them. Remember, there is no fear in love, because perfect love casts out all fear, why? “Fear has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18).” Your job is to love your children, and punishment is devoid of love. Rather, listen to what Jesus said of some severe affliction he was placing on his church, “those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent (Rev 3:19)!”

This is not a systematic theology on discipline and punishment, there are far more passages to study and consider (cf. Hebrews 12:5-11ff, Prov 13:24, Prov 23:13, etc, etc). However, beloved, this is an exhortation to consider how you are responding to your children. Do they consider it harsh punishment (there is a whole sermon there on how Cain received his reproof (Gen 4:13)) or do they consider it painful loving discipline?

Do they welcome correction or do their scorn it? One of your jobs is to teach your child to love correction and so that when he receives it from men he will be better for it, and when he receives it from God he will repent and rejoice that he has a heavenly father who cares for his eternal soul.

And please remember, you should never punish your children.

Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. ~ Proverbs 9:8

Discipline Starts in the Parents

This is the first in a long line of parenting posts I have been considering. It will deal with where child raising begins, which is in the parents. I have been convicted and have been praying about changing the direction of my webpresence. Historically I have focused on theology and evangelism with a bit of application sprinkled in. I have decided to change the focus to an application driven blog laid on a foundation of theology.

One of the reasons this transition has been so long in coming is because in my own authority and wisdom I am not a perfect father, far from it. But in the grace of God, and by his authority, and through his Word, and the godly wisdom of great saints I have been endowed with the authority and wisdom to offer some advice and administer some commands to parents struggling with parenting or who recognize that they have room to grow.

This blog is inspired and titled by my dear pastor from Florida, Randy Kuhn. He told me on more than one occasion and it has stuck, “Discipline starts in the parents.” Let me tell you again, if you only get one thing out of this: Discipline starts in the parents!

I’ve read more parent-help books than I’d care to admit, and very few have been without something helpful, but I’ve noticed the trend that they are all focused on the child’s heart, or the child’s behavior, or correction techniques, or tips & tricks, or presenting the Bible in just the right way. I am not against these things, but they are not the fix you’re looking for, and it’s why so many parents have “tried the techniques” and are still not seeing results in their children.

I recently came to an epiphany—if you can come to an epiphany—that teaching discipline is not a feat that can be accomplished by listening to one sermon, attending one Bible study, writing one dissertation, or talking with one family that has it right: it requires training of the heart that is made effective through practice (cf. Philemon 6, Deuteronomy 6:7, Proverbs 22:6). This applies to parents and to children, and requires constant practice, and Christian parents have a benefit that children rarely have, and that being the Holy Spirit (cf. Philippians 1:6). One of the wonders of Christianity is that God uses the personalities of men in conjunction with the working of his power, and those personalities are formed long before we walk with God. I am blessed to have a work ethic that was ingrained in me from a young age. I remember being four years old building a house with my father, and throughout my entire childhood working on all sorts of equipment with him, and as an adult working well into the night to finish a tile floor just days before I joined the Air Force. But get this, my father is not a believer (I am deeply appreciative of your prayers for him), and neither was I until my third year in the Air Force. But I still see that work ethic (honed in the gospel) find its way to the forefront of my life time and time again.

I am daily tempted to not hold my children to a high standard considering that they are little sinners enslaved in their sin who daily scorn the Saviour’s love. But, beloved, my temptation is not the truth! Throughout scripture we read of fathers training up children in the truth long before they met Christ. Time would fail a full list, but I will briefly name Jacob, Manasseh, and the prodigal Son who were well served by godly upbringings prior to their reconciliation with God. I chose to include Manasseh on that list, and would also put forward Samson, as examples who went far astray, but who returned to the God of their father’s before the end. I cannot promise you an easy upbringing of your children, but I can promise you the peace beyond all understanding that comes in knowing and resting in Christ and his work, and walking the path he laid out before time for you.

This discipline must be constant and predictable. I am in a slightly more elevated observation point than many in that we have six children. If you have one or two you might not notice the damage done by letting a child get away with an infraction because it probably doesn’t instantly cause other issues. But with six, if I let one disobedience slip I’ll see the instant ramifications in one of two ways, either the other five will start to act up, or one of the other five will complain about the unfairness of the injustice.

Loved ones, if you follow a Tedd Tripp book or an Elizabeth Krueger book or a Focus on the Family book or a Ken Ham book or a Ray Comfort book…or any other book…what I would ask you to do is stick with the principles in those book(s) that align with the Scriptures (namely Proverbs which spends much more time in childrearing than most parents realize). You’re not going to find a trick in any of those books (even Proverbs) that is going to give you a quick fix, and it is bordering on provoking your kids to anger to continually change tactics, requirements, and methods on them. Speak with godly counsel, read Proverbs, and make your plan, then stick with it. There is, of course, room for modification, but not a single discipline method can work if you don’t have the discipline to stick with it.

Discipline in the parents requires you to be disciplined in three areas: 1. Striving to grow closer to Christ yourself. 2. Training your children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. 3. Providing correction when they sin.

In closing, I want to emphasize that this is not easy and there is no checklist, you must make this decision now to be disciplined in your parenting. Matt Chandler exhorted fathers once that it is a father’s job to be exhausted. Having that mindset has been freeing to work hard and press through tiredness; likewise it is your job to be disciplined and administer discipline. Don’t worry about what this does to your friendship with your children, you’re called to lead them to Christ, not to be their friend. You can be their friend when they are your brother or sister in the faith, but now you are called to embark on the exhausting, relentless, and rewarding journey of being a disciplined parent.