How Do Babies Get to Heaven? - Hope in the Loss of a Baby

This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Loss of a Baby: A Deeper Dive into what the Bible says about Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death.

How Do Babies Get to Heaven?

There never was a child who required schooling or education in order to learn deceitfulness, selfishness, anger, self-will, gluttony, pride, and foolishness. ~ J. C. Ryle

We’ve looked at how suffering elevates us above the angels. We’ve looked at how it’s assured that babies who die will be in heaven. We’ve looked at those babies being physically carried by angels to God (Matthew 18:10, 24:31). But why do they get to stay? Do babies get to live in heaven because they’re innocent, forgiven, absolved, or some other reason?

First, let’s consider how adults don’t get to go to heaven. Is the way to heaven by our good deeds, righteousness, or works of the law?

Heaven by Works?

Jesus shows us how righteous we have to be in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5. He starts by giving a list of blessings and how the world will react to those living for heaven while on earth (Matthew 5:1-19), then quickly transitions into the entry-requirements by saying that “Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:20).

The implications are massive. He is saying that you have to be more righteous than the religious leaders, which implies that they are not righteous enough to enter the kingdom of heaven. The word Pharisee literally means “holy one,” so obviously they considered their righteousness to be pretty substantial, yet Jesus said it wasn’t enough. In our day we might say, “Unless your righteousness exceeds that of your pastor and elders/deacons you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.”

How much more righteous do you have to be? A little, or a lot? Different Pharisees, different pastors, different church members have different levels of righteousness. Which one do you have to be more righteous than? If I’m the standard, then everyone will be welcomed in heaven, as I am surely the chief of sinners and least of saints. But somehow I don’t think the disciples thought of me when Jesus set their minds to thinking on how righteous someone needs to be.

I wonder if Jesus’ listeners didn’t consider, “However righteous I have to be, at least I have never murdered anyone.” Jesus, as if he knows our thoughts and hearts, starts by showing how serious God is about murder, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment,’ but I say to you….” He turns the focus on not just the act, but the seed, saying, “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire” (Matthew 5:22). Hatred, insults, curse words (The word used for fool–Raca–is likely an Aramaic curse word) are counted by God as murder.

You might think, “Okay, so I’ve murdered in my heart…but I haven’t committed adultery.” Jesus goes on to say, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). Jesus sees to the heart of the matter, that it’s a matter of the heart.

You might say, “Well, it’s not me who is looking with lust, it’s my eye.” To which Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” (Matthew 5:29). It’s not your eye, or your hand, or any other body part that causes you to sin; it’s your soul…and you can’t cut out your soul and cast it away. We can’t pass the blame, the problem is our soul and the guilt belongs to us. If you could be saved by plucking out your eye or cutting off a member, then you should do it; but your problem is much deeper.

Maybe you’ll say, “I was tired of committing adultery with my heart, that’s why I divorced my spouse.” To which Jesus said, “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32).

From here Jesus dives into oaths, emphasizing that any promise we make is binding, and swearing by things only proves the evil in our hearts and that we are bearing false witness (Matthew 5:33-37). Elsewhere God the Father says that “all liars…will have their part in the lake of fire” (Revelation 21:8).

As hard as all of this is, Jesus finishes this section of his sermon with loving your enemies and praying for those who persecute you, showing that it’s not just about avoiding sin, it’s about actively blessing people (Matthew 5:38-47), being truly set apart from the world (Matthew 5:47).

So how much more righteous than the scribes and Pharisees do you need to be to enter the kingdom of heaven? Jesus concludes this section, “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

The requirement to enter heaven is perfection. It’s not just about avoiding sin, it’s also about fulfilling all righteousness. Other places we could look are the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20, Deuteronomy 6), or Psalm 24 which states that to stand in his holy place you must have “clean hands and a pure heart” (Psalm 24:4), or 1 Corinthians 6:9, “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?” We could also consider that “Whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it. For he who said, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ also said, ‘Do not murder.’ If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law” (James 2:10-11).

If we want to be justified (declared innocent and righteous) and enter heaven by our deeds or works of the law, then we quickly learn that this way is closed to us.

Works! Works! A man get to heaven by works!? I would as soon think of climbing to the moon on a rope of sand! ~ George Whitefield

If this is the standard to enter heaven, and we’re honest with ourselves, then we’re not righteous. Rather, we’ve become transgressors. Paul quoted many Old Testament texts to prove his point that “None is righteous, no, not one” (Romans 3:10, consider also verses 11-23). Jesus likewise said, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone” (Mark 10:18, consider also verses 19-22).

Keeping the law is not the way to heaven, yet if babies are in heaven as we’ve concluded previously, then do we need to say, “None is righteous, well, except babies!”?

Are Babies Righteous?

If no one is good–no, not one–then that includes all of mankind. When God looked down from heaven, he saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually (Genesis 6:5). When God looked down, wouldn’t he have seen innocent babies? He did see babies, but not innocent babies, because he knew what was in man (John 2:24-25), and so babies were included in those that perished apart from the law when the flood blotted out mankind from the face of the land (Genesis 6:7).

But–we rightly argue–babies haven’t committed adultery, murdered, or sworn deceitfully, doesn’t that make them righteous? Let’s start with two hard quotes and then we’ll examine the evidence.

The young tiger is a tiger, though it has not yet torn any prey; and the child is a sinner, though it has not yet committed actual transgressions. ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon

We are not sinners because we sin. We sin because we are sinners. ~ R. C. Sproul

While a baby has not yet discernibly broken any of God’s commandments, they must by nature be sinners, else there would be exceptions in Romans 3:10 and Genesis 6:7. But let’s not take Spurgeon’s or Sproul’s word for it.

Are there any verses that say that babies are not innocent? There are, and while this is harsh, we don’t lose heart, because these hard verses only magnify the grace of God welcoming babies into heaven, as we’ll see in the next section. Let’s start with the clearest verse on the topic:

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. ~ Psalm 51:5

David, in looking back on his life, knew he was a sinner from birth, and his sin culminated in his remarkable repentance recorded in Psalm 51. It wasn’t that David was conceived in some special sin, as some have postulated evil things against his mother, but that his sinful nature began at the exact moment he was conceived. Job–in one of his notorious accusations against God–complains that,

Man who is born of a woman is few of days and full of trouble…Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? There is not one. ~ Job 14:1,4

Job wasn’t complaining that man was sinful from birth, he was complaining that God would bring such a person into judgment. Eliphaz–in rare agreement–responds to Job’s conclusion that mankind is born unclean, “What is man, that he can be pure? Or he who is born of a woman, that he can be righteous” (Job 15:14)? Babies are born in the likeness of Adam (Genesis 5:3), and because Adam was a sinner, and we are all descended from Adam, we are all sinners.

David says harsh things about sinners, “The wicked are estranged from the womb, they go astray from birth, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3). And we see in Genesis 8:21 that God himself says, “the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth.”

So, we know that babies aren’t innocent, so that can’t be the reason they go to heaven. If just being a baby were the way to heaven, then they wouldn’t need Jesus (Galatians 2:21), they would just need to die before they learned to reject God and his statutes.

Maybe then it’s that they haven’t sinned, so God will make a special way for them to avoid hell, and therefore heaven is the only alternative? Many theologians, like John MacArthur, point out that those suffering in hell are there for what they did. Keith Green, singing about Matthew 25:31-46, said,

My friends, the only difference between the sheep and the goats, according to this Scripture, is what they did and didn’t do.

Therefore, it could be said that babies aren’t in hell because they haven’t committed any sins; they haven’t done anything wrong. I think there is a lot of merit in this argument, but we have to deal with the problem of “sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned…” (Romans 5:12).

Babies haven’t committed any big earth-shattering sins like David, or Job, or me, but if their thoughts and intents are only inward focused (Genesis 6:5), then they have idolatrous hearts, thus breaking the first and second commandments.

Many new parents are shocked to see how quickly their infant learns to manipulate them with a well-placed cry, how violent they can be to a sibling or playmate, and how terrible a two-year-old can be when they realize they aren’t the center of the universe. Paul Washer, after watching a baby get sinfully mad over a wristwatch he couldn’t have, said,

If you don’t believe in total depravity, just look at a baby. A baby is a complete, self-centered, narcissistic organism. If a baby had the strength of a 200-pound man, it would kill you for a wristwatch if it wanted it.

Their sinful nature turns into real sin much quicker than we realize:

You don't have to teach a child to lie. You have to teach him to tell the truth. You don't have to teach a child to be selfish. You have to teach him to share. We are born with a bias toward sin. ~ Leonard Ravenhill

Jacob earned his name when he and Esau were still in the womb and the text implies that they were already fighting over the firstborn birthright, showing that Jacob was already a cheater and deceiver from before birth (Genesis 25:23,26). J. C. Ryle masterfully argues that no child will be in heaven by their own righteousness by expounding on the depravity of their hearts:

The fairest child, who has entered life this year and become the sunbeam of a family, is not, as his mother perhaps fondly calls him, a little “angel” or a little “innocent,” but a little “sinner.” Alas! As that infant boy or girl lies smiling and crowing in its cradle, that little creature carries in its heart the seeds of every kind of wickedness! Only watch it carefully, as it grows in stature and its mind develops, and you will soon detect in it an incessant tendency to that which is bad, and a backwardness to that which is good.

You will see in it the buds and germs of deceit, evil temper, selfishness, self–will, obstinacy, greediness, envy, jealousy, passion, which, if indulged and let alone, will shoot up with painful rapidity. Who taught the child these things? Where did he learn them? The Bible alone can answer these questions! Of all the foolish things that parents say about their children there is none worse than the common saying: “My son has a good heart at the bottom. He is not what he ought to be, but he has fallen into bad hands. Public schools are bad places. The tutors neglect the boys. Yet he has a good heart at the bottom.”

The truth, unhappily, is diametrically the other way. The first cause of all sin lies in the natural corruption of the boy’s own heart, and not in public schools.

If they’re not in heaven by their own innocence, or their own righteousness, how can babies or anyone be welcomed into heaven?

Saved by Baptism?

If babies can’t get to heaven on their own righteousness, then maybe we need to do something for them. I met with the parents of a dangerously sick baby and they were desperate to secure their child’s place in heaven, should the worst happen. I don’t blame them at all, if we can do something to ensure someone will spend eternity in heaven, then we should gladly do it (2 Corinthians 12:15, Colossians 1:24-29, Romans 10:14-15). By the grace of God the baby recovered and is now in his teens, but it made us think deeply on baptism. Infant mortality is one of the reasons infant baptism came about, that if a helpless baby can’t do anything to save themselves maybe we can wash away their sin before they step out of this world.

There are three main problems with this view. The first is because it’s not in the Bible. We don’t see David’s son baptized or circumcised (what many think was the precursor to baptism) before David said he would go to him (2 Samuel 12:15-18). We don’t see Job saying anything about baptism or circumcision when he said it would be better for him to have died as an infant (Job 3). Jeremiah wanted to die before birth before toil, sorrow, and shame (Jeremiah 20:18), not after baptism or circumcision.

The second problem is that if baptism is what saves babies, then the vast majority of babies who die are without hope. If we’re relying on the works of men to save then we will be surely be let down. Think of the most faithful godly person you know, and then consider if they have ever lapsed in their duties, let you down, or sinned. Would you trust them with securing your place in heaven? Thanks be to God that he is faithful even when every man is a liar, so that I don’t have to trust in men to save me or babies.

God forbid that we should suppose that an unbaptized infant, dying in infancy, is lost! The mercy of God in Christ is not tied to sacraments. Salvation does not depend on an outward ordinance, but on the election and grace of God. ~ J. C. Ryle

The third problem is that mankind cannot save themselves, let alone someone else. The Sons of Korah would say, “Truly no man can ransom another, or give to God the price of his life, for the ransom of their life is costly and can never suffice, that he should live on forever and never see the pit” (Psalm 49:9). One of the scariest passages in scripture occurs after Israel has run off after idols and then finds themselves in need of help, God answers,

You have forsaken me and served other gods; therefore I will save you no more. Go and cry out to the gods whom you have chosen; let them save you in the time of your distress. ~ Judges 10:13-14

If we could save ourselves, or our infants, or anyone else, then we would have grounds for boasting in our abilities, wisdom, and foresight. We wouldn’t need God. But beloved, we need him every day in every way. Salvation belongs to the Lord (Psalm 3:8, Revelation 7:10); the flesh is no help at all (John 6:63).

No baptism of anyone, including infants, saves them. That would make salvation by works…If all infants dying such are saved, it is an act of grace completely apart from any merit on the part of any child. ~ John MacArthur

If you find yourself in a place where a child is likely to die, I know that it is so tempting to baptize them “just in case.” If you baptized a baby who died, test yourself to determine if there was faith or sin or idolatry or desperation involved. Baptism won’t keep a baby out of heaven, but it very well may show the unbelieving heart of the parents, and that must be dealt with for their sake, not the baby’s sake. As anyone, including an infant, lays dying, the Bible does give us a description of what David did; he fasted and prayed (2 Samuel 12:16), then he sought the Lord with all his heart, mind, soul and strength (Psalm 51).

Beloved, the next section will show how wonderful grace is and how we know that babies who die are safe in the arms of Jesus. I am fully convinced that you cannot baptize a baby, you can only get them wet; baptism does nothing for them, and pushes us away from the hope of heaven by placing our hope in a ritual. This doesn’t negate my hope for the eternal state of babies who die, it magnifies the grace of God in their lives and ours.

Saved by Grace through Faith

The Bible says that we are saved not by works, but by the grace of God received through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 1:17, 3:28, 4:16, 2 Timothy 1:9, Titus 3:5, etc). Jesus tells us that,

Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ~ Matthew 18:3-4

This passage, and its parallels (Mark 10:14-15, Luke 18:16-17), as well as the idea of a faith as small as a mustard seed moving mountains (Matthew 17:20, Luke 17:6), is where we get the idea of a “childlike faith.”

This childlike faith trusts God and parents implicitly, that they will provide for their needs and eternities. Innately, we know that children believe this way, but we don’t want to trust our own emotions. Scientifically, Justin Barrett wrote a book called Born Believers: The Science of Children’s Religious Belief where he cites research that young children have a natural, hardwired tendency towards the innate belief that objects, nature, and people were made for a purpose by God, regardless of their religious or cultural upbringing. Even infamous evolutionary atheist Richard Dawkins agrees that children naturally look for intention, design, and authority in their environment. Jesus said it two thousand years before modern science caught up. Who has more childlike faith than a child?

This innate faith in God is their response to their creator, and their faith is credited to them for righteousness (Habakkuk 2:4, Romans 1:17, 3:21-22, 4:5).

Babies don’t go to heaven on their own righteousness, they go to heaven by grace, received through their childlike faith, the righteousness of God imparted to them by their redeemer so that they indeed are perfect as their Father in heaven is perfect.

You Must Be Born Again

Some of my readers may disagree by quoting a wonderful declaration of Jesus, “Truly, truly I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3).

They might ask, “If babies are in heaven how and when were babies born again?” I have to admit, the occurrence and the timing and the particulars are mostly hidden from us, but not completely. How can a baby recognize and respond to its Saviour in such a way? I only know that it can because a wonderful detail is given of a baby named John who recognized his Saviour while both were still but tiny growing children in their mothers’ wombs,

When Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy!’ ~ Luke 1:41-44

If Elizabeth’s baby could respond in joy (a fruit of the Spirit) from the womb, so can your baby out of the abundance of his or her childlike faith!

But–you might object–a baby doesn’t have adequate cognitive comprehension, decision making capabilities, or even a will to choose Christ! That’s right, that’s why God himself promised,

To all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. ~ John 1:12-13

A baby who receives the right to become a child of God relies wholly on God’s grace for this work. It’s not the baby’s birth, blood, or will; it’s not the will of the baby’s parents or pastor; the rebirth happens by the will of God. Calvin agrees and says it better than I can:

Infants who are to be saved–and that some are saved at this age is certain–must, without question, be previously regenerated by the Lord.

How–ask they–are infants regenerated, who have no knowledge either of good or evil? We answer, that the work of God, though beyond the reach of our capacity, is not therefore null. For if they bring innate corruption with them from their mother’s womb, they must be purified before they can be admitted into the kingdom of God. They are regenerated by the power of the Spirit, which, as it is secret and invisible to us, works in them as he pleases. ~ John Calvin

Our babies who are born into heaven are saved by grace through their childlike faith, not by their works, so that they cannot boast. Their little broken bodies are left here while their spirit departs to be present with the Lord.

Of adults we say that those who are born again repent and believe in Jesus. In babies and infants who die we do not get to see this fruit in their lives, but rest assured, that repentance and faith are gifts of God (Ephesians 2:8-9, Acts 11:18, Ezekiel 36:26-27, John 6:63), and he will freely give them to our babies who are born again though they were robbed of the opportunity to be born the first time.

God will receive all of the glory of their salvation. Quoting Jonathan Edwards, the only thing they contributed to their salvation was the sin that made it necessary.

The Way, the Truth, and the Life

But is that all it takes? Faith? No, we can’t negate that the requirement to enter heaven is absolute perfection, as the Bible describes and we’ve examined. If the requirement is perfect, then we are not going to make it no matter how much faith we have. We needed a new way, a rescue from heaven, a way that depended not on human will but on the will and love of God.

And God, in his infinite love, demonstrated it by sending his only begotten Son to open that way for us (John 3:16). We’ll look much deeper into this topic in the chapter on Mary’s Promise, but we need to know here that Jesus came to fulfill all righteousness. He was wholly faithful to his Father, he was entirely faithful to his bride the church, he always told the truth, he glorified God in everything he did. The Spirit describes him as holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens. He has no need to offer sacrifices daily (Hebrews 7:26). He was perfect as his Father in heaven was perfect.

Yet, his Father made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21). Where does our righteousness come from?

Our righteousness comes from the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us. By faith he will make you perfect, your sins having been paid for on the cross, and your righteousness coming from God’s own Son. Job said, “I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; my justice was like a robe and a [crown]” (Job 29:14). Job was speaking of his own righteousness which he had yet to realize was deficient, yet Romans 13:14 specifies where the righteousness comes from that saves, “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”

How then can we go to heaven? Because Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through him (John 14:6). There is no other name given under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12).

He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them (Hebrews 7:25). And how do you draw near to him to receive this salvation? With faith like a little child.

We may rest fully assured that all who die in infancy are saved. They are washed in the blood of Christ, clothed in His righteousness, and renewed by His Spirit, though they knew it not…they are saved by the same grace which saves the eldest saint, through the sole merit of Christ’s atonement. ~ J. C. Ryle

Jeremiah's Bitterness - Hope in the Loss of a Baby

This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Loss of a Baby: A Deeper Dive Into What the Bible Says About Pregnancy and Infant Loss.

Jeremiah’s Bitterness

To suffer in the soul while doing the will of God is the deepest trial a servant can bear. ~ Matthew Henry

Jeremiah’s ministry was hard. He is rightly known as the weeping prophet. It's hard to understand how much Jeremiah suffered and for what purpose, which is why I didn’t lead with his story. But his life is in the Bible and speaks to our subject so we are privileged to spend some time with him. It’s hard, but herein there is great edification, planting, and blessing.

Let’s start with his calling. God appointed Jeremiah to be a messenger with a stated ministry to pluck up, break down, destroy, overthrow, build, and plant (Jeremiah 1:10), the vast majority of his ministry while he was alive was devoid of building or planting. He was set free for the good of his nation (Jeremiah 15:11), yet during his life very little happened for the good of his people.

The ministry he was accomplishing was not readily apparent to his eyes or ears. It was the perfect storm for a mournful prophet. Did God lie to Jeremiah? No, God was just operating on a different time scale; God fulfilled the building and planting portion of Jeremiah’s ministry after his death, as multitudes have been blessed by his writings in the last two-and-a-half millennia. There is a hint of this in his calling,

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations. ~ Jeremiah 1:5

His call was from the womb, and it was to the nations. But in his life, he only went to Judah. Chances are high that those reading this are not Judeans, but from the nations. As Peter said, Jeremiah was not serving himself, but you (1 Peter 1:12).

When Bitterness Sneaks In

During his ministry Jeremiah was beaten, despised, rejected, slandered, and carried off to die in a foreign land. Sometimes prophets see revival, sometimes they have friends, sometimes they feel like they accomplished much in their ministries. Jeremiah had no such blessing while on earth.

Jeremiah starts wrestling with God immediately, even when he was called, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth!” (Jeremiah 1:6). His petulance grows as he hoped for a lot more planting & building and a lot less violence & destruction. He goes through a terrible trial with one of the priests who arrests him, beats him, and ridicules him (Jeremiah 20:1-2). After pronouncing a curse on the priest and destruction on Judah, he points his anger skyward,

O Lord, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed! ~ Jeremiah 20:7

The sin of bitterness says that God is doing things wrong or has done things wrong. It’s similar to the sin of worry, which is questioning whether God won’t do what’s right; bitterness is much worse than worrying because it casts judgment on God rather than just doubt (but don’t negate the heinousness of this sin). In Job’s story, God asked Job, “Will you condemn me that you may be in the right?” (Job 40:8), showing that Job had cast judgment on God by his own standard. Jeremiah is tiptoeing on the edge of bitterness, still wrestling with whether or not what God is doing is right in his eyes, but we know that whatever God ordains is right. Nebuchadnezzar, after spending seven years out of his mind and then being humbled and restored, said, “None can stay his hand or say to him, ‘What have you done?’” (Daniel 4:35). God’s ways are always right, even when we can’t see what he’s doing.

Jeremiah’s first use of raw language to express himself is telling,

Woe is me, my mother, that you bore me! A man of strife and contention to the whole land. ~ Jeremiah 15:10

Notice here that he is calling down a woe, a funeral dirge, on himself that he would have rather not been born than become a prophet. He resorts to full blown bitterness by Jeremiah 20:14-18, calling down curses on his birthday and the man who brought tidings of his birth to his father, and wishing he had been murdered in the womb. Remember, his consecration as a prophet was from before his birth (Jeremiah 1:5), so his cursing of his birthday is not just a lament, but shaking his fist at God.

Other prophets, like Elijah (1 Kings 19:4) and Jonah (Jonah 4:3), would rather die than continue to serve God. We know that their requests were not right for at least two reasons; first, God doesn’t answer their prayers, and second, they are used for much good later in their lives and ministries.

That doesn’t change the fact that bitterness, anger, and despair overcame them for part of their life. Jeremiah’s despair expressed itself in wishing he’d never been born rather than obey the call of God and face the pain of his tribulations. We know that Jesus promised us trials, tribulations, and temptations, yet when they come upon us we act as though something strange were happening to us (1 Peter 4:12).

Chances are high that you’ve experienced bitterness in your life, especially if you’ve experienced the extreme wound of the loss of a child. We’ll look at Rachel’s weeping in a future chapter, but there have been innumerable times of weeping, despair, unquenchable anger poured out towards God for the seeming unfairness of his decisions.

Myriads of parents have walked out of the hospital or doctor’s office to realize their new car-seat will not be used, or arrived home to a freshly painted nursery feeling that not only was their effort seemingly wasted, but more-so that they feel betrayed by God who took away their gift before they’d even received it. One young mother who lost multiple babies said, “I was supposed to walk out of the hospital with my babies in my arms. It’s not right to walk out with empty hands.”

Jenny Marx–wife of Karl Marx whose philosophy has led to untold suffering and death including the deaths of four of his own children attributed to malnutrition–reportedly lived in constant bitterness and anguish and according to her husband wished every day that she and her children were safely in their graves. In the midst of such suffering and bitterness, death seems like a release.

The only time that it would be better if you had never been born is if you’ll die without Christ and face the wrath of God. In this case, Jesus himself tells us it would have been better if Judas Iscariot had not been born (Matthew 26:24, Mark 14:21).  If you’re reading this now and you don’t know Christ, it’s too late for you never be born! So you must seek him while he may be found! I implore you to be reconciled to God today. Read the chapter on “How Do You Get to Heaven?” and the last chapter on “Mary’s Sword” and don’t go to sleep until you’ve found forgiveness (Proverbs 6:4-5, Psalm 132:4-5).

No matter how hard your life is, cursing your birth and lamenting your life leads only to resentment and defilement, leading to an exponentially more difficult life and eternity.

The true cure to life’s trials is the hope of God’s faithfulness in every circumstance. Let’s look at an example from the scriptures.

Paul’s Joy

The Apostle Paul was similarly set apart from before birth to go to the nations (Galatians 1:15-16), and he faced similar persecutions as Jeremiah. He was rejected, beaten, slandered, imprisoned, and yet he was adamant that what had happened to him had provided a blessing,

I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel... ~ Philippians 1:12

He would go on to say that his hope was to honor Christ whether by life or by death (Philippians 1:20), and that “to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

W. A. Criswell gave me an idea about how dying could possibly be gain; the idea is his but the words are mine:

If to live is possessions, then to die is loss.
If to live is friendship, then to die is loss.
If to live is old age, then to die is loss.
If to live is parent, then to die is loss.
If to live is family, then to die is loss.
If to live is money, then to die is loss.
If to live is travel, then to die is loss.
If to live is fame, then to die is loss.
If to live is sex, then to die is loss.
But if to live is Christ, then to die is gain.

This leads to one of the hardest questions Jeremiah brings up, or that perhaps anyone could ask: Is it better to die as a baby and go straight to heaven, or to live a short time on the earth and glorify God in your life and death?

Paul goes on, “If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me…to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account” (Philippians 1:22,24). Peter mirrored that thought at the end of his life, “I think it is right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up…” (2 Peter 1:13). Paul’s sincere desire was to depart and be with Christ, but he knew that for the time God had allotted to him, he wanted to make as many disciples as he could, and strengthen them in the truth. Elsewhere he said that God had called us by his grace and created us for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10). I hope you see the implications that God knew you just as much as he knew Jeremiah and Paul before your birth (compare Psalm 139:13-16). He has a plan and a purpose for your life and your suffering.

We long for the peace of heaven, but as long as God sustains us and Christ tarries, we walk in joy and not disdain for the ministry he has given us. Sorrow, tears, mourning, and weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

Beauty From Ashes

If there is comfort in Jeremiah’s bitterness, it’s that he still knew that it was not condemnation to die in the womb. He, Elijah, and Jonah may have prayed imprecations on themselves, but they did not wish to be cut off from God or face his anger or wrath forever. Jeremiah shows us that whatever God ordains is right, even when it is extremely painful in the moment (compare Hebrews 12:10-11). He is bringing beauty from ashes, joy out of mourning, dancing from wailing, life from death, love from hatred, and gardens out of deserts.

I hope Jeremiah knows today how much his book has meant to me and so many others. I am sure he wouldn’t change a thing about his life now that he’s seen how God has used it. While I’m sad for how he suffered, I’m exceedingly thankful that God had him walk this path so that we can see his temptation towards bitterness. Even God’s most faithful prophets faced this temptation. Jeremiah, in his exceedingly great trials, truly paved the way to understand that the joy and glory to be revealed in heaven is nothing in comparison to the sufferings of the present time (Romans 8:18).

Samuel Rodigast wrote the hymn, Whatever my God Ordains is Right. It reminds us that God has a hope and a future for us, and that his plans are perfect, even when we can’t see what he’s doing, and even when we may, like Jeremiah, desire to accuse God in our circumstances,

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
he never will deceive me;
he leads me by the proper path;
I know he will not leave me.
I take, content, what he hath sent:
his hand can turn my griefs away,
and patiently I wait his day.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
here shall my stand be taken;
though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
yet I am not forsaken.
My father’s care is round me there;
he holds me that I shall not fall:
and so to him I leave it all.

How can God say that this is used for good and how can Jeremiah’s words be used to plant and build? It’s because God intends for our highest and best good to be in heaven, and for his power to be magnified in weakness, pain, and calamities (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Jeremiah was driven to despair in his day, but since then God has used him to plant and build beyond anything he could have hoped or imagined. If Jeremiah could have looked forward (1 Peter 1:12) to the glory that God was going to receive and display in his ministry, I believe he would have wholeheartedly endured the suffering for the joy set before him (compare Hebrews 12:1-2).

If you trust Christ, it is very good that you have been born, and I’d encourage you to stay and minister for as long as God gives you breath. If you think that there is no other work for you to do, I say that as long as Christ leaves you on earth, there is someone to pray for, someone to encourage, someone to comfort, someone to exhort. When I speak in the counseling room I often say,

As long as your heart is still beating,
As long as your lungs are still breathing,
As long as your brain is still waving,
Christ is not through with you.

If those three things are still happening within your body, then no matter how difficult your day, week, month, year, or life is going, you can pray with Micah,

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the Lord shall be a light to me. ~ Micah 7:8

If you don’t have the strength to go on, consider this poem from Annie Flint. Make it your prayer today, but whatever you do, remember that what God ordains is right, and he’s doing a work in and through you that you cannot fully comprehend. Certainly, once you’ve reached heaven, you wouldn’t want to change a thing.

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again. ~ Annie J Flint

Job's Suffering - Hope in the Loss of a Baby

This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Loss of a Baby: A Deeper Dive Into What the Bible Says About Pregnancy and Infant Loss.

Job’s Expectation

He who took them was the one who gave them. He has not made a mistake. He does all things well. ~ Hudson Taylor

Hudson Taylor, founder of the China Inland Mission, buried four children and one wife. In his lament, he alluded to Job 1:21,

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

Job comes early in this book because his experience speaks volumes about the death of a baby, and it also speaks to parents who have lost children. While whole books could be written on this topic from Job alone, I am going to condense it into one chapter.

If you don’t know the story of Job, I would encourage you to read Job 1 and 2 before continuing. The synopsis is that Job lost his entire kingdom in a day because God offered him up as an example of faithfulness to Satan. Within minutes Job learned that all of his livestock had been stolen, almost all of his servants were murdered, and worst of all, that his ten children had been killed in a natural disaster. Sometime later Job’s health was also taken from him.

He was left only with a body covered in diseased sores, a couple of servants, a lot of unanswered questions, and his wife.

Job’s Wife

Keep in mind that Job’s wife lost seven sons and three daughters and her whole financial future, just like Job. We don’t see much of her response–nor her grieving, pain, or despair–but we do see some, and we understand in a very small way how hurt and distraught she was.

Many preachers and teachers have pointed out that what Job really needed in his tribulation was a supportive and loving wife, and what he got was “Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9). She very well may have been captured by Satan to do his will (2 Timothy 2:26), helping to multiply the pain of Job, or she may just have been speaking out of her broken heart. God had not limited Satan’s interaction in her life like he had Job’s (Job 1:12). But even though Job was the target, it wasn’t just his tribulation; it was their tribulation. Hurt people hurt people, and Job’s wife was seriously hurt.

I’m trying to avoid a whole word study, but bear with me a for a moment for an important point on word usage. To fully understand Job’s story, we have to recognize that the Hebrew word “Barak” appears often in the book of Job, but is used in radically different ways. God uses it as material blessing, Satan uses it once to describe a material blessing, but then he turns it to a curse, Job uses it to describe who God is, and his wife uses it as a curse turned into an accusation.[1] Here’s why the broadness of this term is important: the same event can have a vastly different impact on different people. If you’re grieving, chances are someone else experiencing the same even is going to grieve differently.

Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen in their book Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss delivers the message that different people grieve in drastically different ways. In the time of tragedy, it’s always important to remember that the way you grieve is not the way everyone grieves.

Remember, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). Someone that lashes out at you, or someone who seems to have moved past the grief way too quickly, is almost certainly grieving in their own way. Ask them what they’re feeling and what they need, and if they want to talk. If you want to talk, and they don’t, then make sure they know that when they’re ready, you need them to be a listening ear. Until then, pray for them and seek a godly counselor who will listen, but not replace, your spouse.

If they lash out, listen to their anger as an expression of what is in their heart. The definition of worry is believing that God won’t do what’s right. The definition of bitterness is believing that what God did wasn’t right. Worry often expresses itself in silence, bitterness often expresses itself in outburst. Both worry and bitterness are a sin, and we’ll see that Job was not blameless later in the book, but right now we’re talking about Job’s wife, who is mad at Job, but she’s more mad at God.

When Job responded to her, despite it being a rebuke, it seems like he was being loving. Job 2:10 tells us there was no sin when he said, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” Notice, Job doesn’t call her a foolish woman, he says what she’s saying is foolish. He doesn’t accuse or label her, he addresses what she said, and he points her to God’s provision, and he asks her an introspective question. It truly is a marvelous exchange. His goal is to set her hope on God, not to figure out who is to blame, or tear her down, and especially not to hurt her.

We don’t know the rest of her story, but I’m sure she had a lot of wrestling to do with God. I want to believe that she worked through this season with Job and was restored. She is mentioned a few times throughout Job’s defense of himself, but never in a way we can discern her end. When Job is restored, she’s not mentioned, but there is also no evidence that Job had to find a new wife.

She’s also not included in God’s rebuke against Job and his counselors, making it seem that God had already forgiven her outburst and bitterness. In one sense it would be nice to know if she was restored, but I believe what the Holy Spirit is doing by not answering that questions is encouraging us to look inward at our own bitterness and consider how we have responded and how we should live in the future. But there are enough hints to know what she was thinking and feeling, so that we can have compassion on her and learn from her suffering.

When she lashed out at Job, it shows she had been considering the potential cause and effect of their misfortune. She asked Job, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity!?” (Job 2:9, emphasis mine, compare Job 2:3 for Job’s intact integrity).

Let’s try to discern her thought process. She likely believed like Job and his friends that if you do good, good things will happen to you (Job 4:7, 8:20, etc., compare Deuteronomy 28:1-14), and  if bad things have happened to you, it’s because you’ve done bad things (Job 4:8, 11:20, 18:5-21, etc., compare Deuteronomy 27:9-26, 28:15-68). In one sense the world might call it Karmic, but in a more realistic sense, it was the language of the Old Covenant, that what a person sows, they will reap (Hosea 8:7, 10:13, Proverbs 22:8, Galatians 6:7). We would call it the “Old Covenant” which was between men and God and required constant and perfect obedience and is meant to lead us to the “New Covenant” which is between Jesus and the Father (Consider Hebrews 8:6-13, especially verse 12). The Bible tells us to look into the law like it’s a mirror (James 1:23), so that it will show us that we are accountable to God (Romans 3:19), so that we can be redeemed by Christ who redeemed us from the curse of the law (Galatians 3:13).

Job’s wife was still living in that place, likely before even Moses, where God’s blessing seemed to depend on her obedience, and if there were cursing, it seemed sure that someone must have sinned.

Job’s wife could look inward and know that she had not sinned, that the calamity facing them was not her fault, so there was only one other option in her mind: Job must have sinned. She didn’t have access to the behind the scenes commentary where the Holy Spirit confirms that Job was blameless, upright, feared God, and turned away from evil (Job 1:1). She didn’t know that Job’s righteousness was reiterated when, “Job did not sin or charge God with wrong” (Job 1:22). She couldn’t know that God affirmed to Satan that Job was still walking in his integrity (Job 2:3). And finally she couldn’t tell that Job did not sin with his lips (Job 2:10). But she couldn’t know that, because the book of Job hadn’t been written yet, so I don’t fault her for considering that Job must have sinned.

Whatever she accused him of is not recorded, but he must have denied having any culpability, holding fast to his integrity. Unfortunately, she didn’t respond gently.

In every tragedy we are going to respond in love or in bitterness, there are not many other options. If I were counseling Job and his wife, I would point them towards Grieving: Your Path Back to Peace by James White which would encourage them towards peace and away from acrimony.

As we searched for God’s will, I would say there are four options: 1) Job sinned, 2) Job’s wife sinned, 3) they both sinned, or 4) nobody sinned and God is doing a work that they don’t currently understand. I might take each of them aside individually and ask candidly, “Did you sin?” There is no benefit it pretending a sin didn’t occur if it clearly did, but if they were both adamant that they had kept a short list of sins and confession with God, then I would move on towards what the future holds.

It's tempting to draw a straight line from sin to calamity, but it’s rarely that clear. Especially in Job’s situation, since we know the behind the scenes events, if we assign blame to him we would be clearly in the wrong, just as his three friends were erroneous in their accusations and counsel. We do well to remember the saying,

Presence of calamity is not proof of sin. Presence of comfort is not proof of virtue.

In Job’s case, while his calamity was not predicated by sin, we’ll see later that his future did hold bitterness and accusations against God. Because of his suffering and his interaction with God, Job was moved to a place of humility and the blessing of a deeper relationship with God.

We can’t say for sure what happened to Job’s wife or her relationship with God, but I hope you’ve seen that her response and her interaction with her husband were realistic responses to the trouble they were facing. May she bring you comfort as you consider your response when God gives and takes away.

I do want to emphasize that accusations are never right. So, if you’re hurt, don’t respond in a hurtful way; seek to bless the Lord in your heart and bless those around you with your words and deeds. Especially those who are hurting with you.

Job’s Lament

After his interaction with his wife, Job sat for at least seven days in his despair, potentially several months (Job 29:2). He was not rash to speak, but that didn’t temper his anger by much.

Job’s friends came and sat with him, both day and night. These were wonderful friends; their desire was pure to love their friend as they sought to commiserate with and comfort him. In chaplaincy we call this a ministry of presence, just being there. It’s tempting to speak quickly, but in a time of tragedy like this, often it’s beneficial just to be present. This is especially important, like in Job’s case, when the suffering is “very great.” I teach young ministers that in the hospital they only need to do three things: 1) Be there, 2) Pray for comfort 3) Keep your words brief. I’ve heard from many families that “I don’t remember what the chaplain said, but them being there was a comfort.”

God speaks to every topic and pain, so when the time is right, we speak. But in the midst of such tragedy, we must take James’ wisdom seriously, “Beloved brother, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of men does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20). The time for counseling and conversation will come, but it’s often not immediately.

Job’s processing took time. You will not quickly be ready to talk, much less ready to move past your grief. There is a real and healthy expectation that you will carry your grief with you for the rest of your life. In counseling those who have lost children, I’ve heard everything from, “It’s his one-month birthday today,” to “He would have been twenty-nine (years old) today.” And everything in the middle. My grandmother lost an infant son to Meningitis in about 1962 and she spoke often of him until she died in 2012.

Others process the death quickly; usually this is predicated by a desire to care for people who are grieving and need someone to be stronger than them. King David can be used as an example, having moved past his mourning relatively quickly (2 Samuel 12:19-23), partly because he need to comfort his wife, the baby’s mother (2 Samuel 12:24). Job on the other hand took at least seven days just to be ready to talk. Others may not be ready to talk for years, but I recommend finding a godly friend, family member, or counselor who you can share your grief with within the first few weeks. I’m generally ready to talk immediately after tragedy, but I’m not you and you’re not me, so move at your own pace in the wisdom of God.

Most of Job’s lament is based around the fact that he wished he’d never been born…he is not alone in this, we’ll see that Jeremiah and Judas Iscariot were in similar positions. Where Job is unique is that he doesn’t wish he’d never existed, he points a still-birth at rest and hope.

I would have lain down and been quiet; I would have slept; then I would have been at rest, with kings and counselors of the earth who rebuilt ruins for themselves, or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver…there the wary are at rest, there the prisoners are at ease together; they hear not the voice of the task masker. The small and the great are there, and the slave is free from his master. ~ Job 3:13-19

He goes on to say that death is a release, “[they] are glad when they find the grave…” (Job 3:22). Later Job would consider that he would have hope even if God took his life, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him…” (Job 13:15) and he looked forward to the renewal after his death (Job 14:13, 14, the New Testament calls this renewal a resurrection, see John 11:24). Matthew Henry says of the rest that is death, “it is a bed out of which they shall rise refreshed in the morning of the resurrection.”

The phrase “Rest in Peace” on tombstones has only become popular in the last seventeen-hundred or so years, but the idea of a person who knew God resting in peace until the resurrection has been around much longer. Lazarus is referenced as being in comfort after his death (Luke 16:25), the author of Hebrews references death as “For we who believed entered that rest” (Hebrews 4:3), and Stephen isn’t said to have died when he was murdered, rather, he fell asleep (Acts 7:60).

The important thing to see in Job’s life is that the quiet of still-birth was anticipated by him to be better than a life “born to trouble as the sparks fly upward” (Job 5:7), since “man who is born of a woman is few of days and full of trouble” (Job 14:1, compare James 4:14). The Holy Spirit would not have recorded this in the book of Job if it weren’t true, and we’re able to compare it to other accounts to verify it wasn’t just Job’s wishful thinking, which we’ll do later in the book.

Based on Job’s lamentation, we are able to see that babies who die are instantly at rest. Some might say that “rest” just means that the ends of all mankind are the same (Ecclesiastes 2:19-21), which could reasonably be argued if we just stayed in Job 3, but the conclusion to the book of Job shows something interesting about his deceased children.

Job’s Restoration

At the end of Job’s ordeal, he received double the sheep (14,000 instead of the 7,000 that he lost), double the camels (12,000 instead of the 6,000 he had lost), double the oxen (1,000 yoke instead of the 500 he had lost), and double the donkeys (1,000 instead of the 500 he had lost). But, and pay attention carefully, he did not receive double the number of children on earth. He lost ten children and he received ten children. He didn’t have twenty new children, only ten more.

This is an important fact not to be missed. Animals don’t have a soul, so while they can be incredibly useful, loving, and loved, they cease to exist when they die.

Human beings, on the other hand, have a soul, and to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. When it came to his restoration, Job did receive double the children, the only difference in this restoration was that ten were in eternity and ten were on earth.

While the animals are double the number of Job 1:3, why are not the children? It is obvious that Job still had seven sons and three daughters waiting for him in the presence of God. ~ John MacArthur

If you’ve lost a child, I believe Augustine said it best, “we have not lost our dear ones who have departed from this life but have merely sent them ahead of us…” and Spurgeon agreed, “They are not lost, but gone before. They are gone to the great Father’s house, where the many mansions are. They are in the upper room of the house, in the nursery of the Great King.” Truly, we haven’t lost something if we know where it is. In the case of a loved one who trusted God for salvation, we may have lost their fellowship temporarily, but we know just where they are and how to be reunited with them.

Job’s restoration is difficult to understand at first, because it seems to be implied that his future blessing made up for his past suffering. But I would say that his material blessing is just a symptom of the true blessing.

The true blessing was that Job gained a deeper relationship with God, was able to repent of his bitterness that had fomented in his heart, and that he learned what it was to be an intercessor for his friends.

It’s easy to gloss over the fact that Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar are likely in heaven today because Job’s suffering revealed what was in their heart so that blood could be shed for their sins and Job could act as mediator for their souls (Job 42:8-10). Without Job’s suffering they very well could be in anguish right now, but because of his suffering they gained a mediator between God and men. Mediators like Job point forward to a time when God’s own Son would mediate for his saints (1 Timothy 2:5) after shedding his own blood for their redemption (Hebrews 9:12).

Was their salvation worth all the pain and suffering that Job endured? Was it worth the death of Job’s sons and daughters? I can’t say that for sure, but God definitely used that tragedy for their good.

But, I can say this confidently, the death of God’s own Son was definitely used for my salvation, theirs, and yours, if you’ll trust him.

Job’s Backward Looking

We have one more lesson to learn from Job. Not long before God rebukes him, he has a nice reminiscent vision of his life before the tragedy. I say it’s nice, because there is not initially anything wrong with it,

Oh, that I were as in the months of old, as in the days when God watched over me… ~ Job 29:2 (see also verses 3-25)

It doesn’t feel bad to look backwards. In fact there might be a lot of comfort in remembering how much God did in your life before the tragedy. But we have to remember that God rebukes Job sternly starting in chapter 38. Living in the past can definitely be a sin.

Philippians 3:13-14 tells us that Paul didn’t live in the past, but pressed towards the future with this statement,

One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

No matter how great your past was, one thing is certain: things can never go back to the way they were. You’ll either grow in grace or grow in bitterness, but you can’t stay the same and you can never go back to the way you were. Neither could Job.

A number of movies have romanticized the idea of heroes being rewarded by getting to relive life without tragedy, such as Jumanji (1995) where the parents died in a car accident, or Masters of the Universe (1987) where the parents died in a plane crash. In both of those movies, the end of the saga shows the parents alive and the heroes begging them not to take their trips. In Live Die Repeat (2014) the main character gets to try again every time he is killed in his mission to win a battle. And in Groundhog Day (1993), the main character relives every day, sometimes making the world nicer and sometimes making it worse, but with no lasting consequences for any of his actions. Getting a second chance, or multiple redoes, is a nice thought, but it misses the providence of God; he is working in all circumstances to bring about his purposes. I would love a second chance to avoid serious pitfalls and pain, but then I would negate the grace of God that has been shown through those trials.

Forgetting all things in the past doesn’t mean that we don’t remember and rejoice, but that we look forward for to see what God would have us to do. This includes not reminiscing too long even on the good things. Imagine a couple who have been happily married for forty-nine years; on their wedding anniversary they both announce that they have loved each other enough and have agreed to take a one-year hiatus from further love, and that they will survive and thrive on the past forty-nine years of love. This arrangement will free up time to do things that don’t involve loving each other! Doesn’t that sound ridiculous?

Past love does not carry us through the future. This is why we’re called to persevere, continue loving, and finish the race. This is why God not only loved (past tense) the world and sent his Son (John 3:16, Revelation 1:5), but why he continues to love (present tense) the Christian (John 14:23, 16:27, Hebrews 12:6, Revelation 1:5). We look back at the love that Christ showed on the cross and consider that he is actively loving us today. Both his past and present love encourage us to continue loving towards the future, knowing that he will never leave us nor forsake us.

Refusing to live in the past sounds harsh until you realize what you’re pressing towards. In Job’s case it was, “And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job…the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before…and the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…and Job died, an old man, and full of days” (Job 42:10, 12, 17).

What are you pressing towards? Romans 8:28-29 says that God is using all things to transform you into the image of Christ. I hope God blesses you on earth, but much more I hope he blesses you in eternity. The call is to look forward to the future glory of Christ, which is nothing in comparison to the present suffering, nor the things you’ve lost. That includes even the exceeding precious people that will forever hold a place in our hearts.

Conclusion to Job

We like to think that God wants us to be safe, comfortable, and building a strong family with a long progeny. Job’s story turns all of that upside down, especially when we realize it was not Satan’s idea, but God’s idea and will to put Job through such a trial.

God cares about his glory, our holiness, and our eternal life much more than our temporary happiness or comfort. Death, tragedy, and suffering are God’s extreme tools to shake up our lives to seek him. Please note that neither Job, his wife, his children, nor his servants did anything to cause what they went through. Nor did they have any idea of what God was doing behind the scenes.

Rather, notice that suffering led to us seeing what was in the hearts of Job, his wife, and his friends, so that it could be purged from them and their relationship with God increased. What they gained in knowing God was infinitely better than what they lost.

The next time you hear of someone suffering, spend some time first just sitting with them, and consider that there may not be an easy answer to why they are suffering. Remember that they don’t need accusations or immediate answers, and the person they need to hear from much more than you is God.

Last, remember that Jesus, though a son, learned obedience through what he suffered (Hebrews 5:8). If you’re suffering now, or suffered in the past, consider whether your suffering moved you closer to God or farther from him. If you moved away from God, it’s not too late to redeem your suffering by running back to the God who loves you and is seeking your highest and best usefulness. He is ready and willing to give you all things that pertain to life and godliness through his Son. He will continue to work in your life until Christ returns or calls you home.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come.
‘Twas grace that brought me safe thus far,
and grace will lead me home. ~ John Newton

Job's Restoration by Laurent de La Hyre, 1648

---

[1]Barak (blessing/cursing) is similar in sound to the word Baraq (lightning) but there does not seem to be an etymological link between the two; the author of Job seems to seek to avoid this confusion by using Owr for lightning rather than Barak.

Love Your Enemies

I was preaching in the park after a beautiful rainstorm. I opened with, “He sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45). I often preach from Matthew 5 as it delivers a clear expression of the juxtaposition between who we are, who Christ is, and who he can make us.

I love how the beatitudes of the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) start out so general, and then how specific Jesus gets into hatred being equivalent to murder (Matthew 5:21-22), lust being equivalent to adultery (Matthew 5:27-28), and telling the truth simply (Matthew 5:37). That transition from general to specific is one of my favorite topics in the Bible.

As I preached Matthew 5:44-45 something jumped out at me that I’ve read dozens of times and yet never seen before, and I’ve seen more things since that I want to write down and has been exacerbated by a recent trend. That trend is that there is a resurgence of people who say yes and amen to verse 43, that you should “love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” They love those who love them and hate those who hate them; who wouldn’t love such a straight forward command that I want to do anyways? It’s easy, relatively safe (from a human perspective), and it’s human nature. But Jesus doesn’t love it, so he says exactly the opposite. Why? Because he doesn’t want you to be like your enemies; he wants you to be like God.

When we love our enemy, that looks exactly the opposite of hating them:

We stop trying to hurt them.

If we’ve hurt them, we seek to apologize.

If we can repair the hurt, we spend and be spent to make restitution.

We seek their highest and best usefulness.

We’re glad they exist.

Loving our enemy causes us to pray for them:

That they’ll love their enemies.

That they’ll know the peace that surpasses understanding.

That they’ll thrive in life and godliness.

That God will bless them and not curse them.

That God will treat them the way we want to be treated.

I’m sure there are many things I missed on those lists, but I think the foundation is laid. This is serving them, but it’s also for us: that we “may be sons of our Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:45). Earlier in his sermon Jesus had given a very general statement, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). We have to wonder, “How many times do I have to love, forgive, turn the other cheek, or serve my enemy to be a peacemaker? After all, there was that one time I think I made peace…am I a peacemaker?” In verses 43-45 Jesus gets specific, that being a peacemaker and acting like your Father in heaven requires you to continually love your enemies and pray for those who are persecuting you. He gives the example that as long as the sun is still rising and rain is still falling, God is still loving his enemies. Therefore, beloved, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you as often as the sun comes up and then more fervently as you receive the desperately needed blessing of rain.

Man—despite his artistic pretensions, his sophistication, and his many accomplishments—owes his existence to a six-inch layer of topsoil and the fact that it rains. ~ Paul Harvey

A woman new to following Jesus – after considering her upbringing in Islam and her later atheism – summed up her newborn faith with,

I find that Christianity is actually obsessed with love. ~ Ayaan Hirsi Ali (13:58 of her debate with Richard Dawkins)

Yet, somehow there is a whole sect of people calling themselves Christians who are obsessed with hurt, separation, comfort, and hating their enemies. Such things ought not to be! If Jesus is for us, desiring us to be sons of our Father, then we ought to pray fervently for those who are doing the opposite. We expect the world to hate their enemies, but how is it that we could have such malice in our hearts if we’ve been forgiven so much (Luke 7:47)?

Beloved reader, today I call you to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that he’ll call you a peacemaker and a son (or daughter) of God. It’s for the good of your enemies, oh yes, but it’s also good for you. I’m reminded of the United States (and others) helping to rebuild Germany and Japan after WWII; both of those countries are now counted as our friends. What a blessing for them, us, and the rest of the world.

Loving your enemy blesses you in at least these ways:

Rejoicing that God put them in your life is a cure for bitterness.

Forgiving them shows that you’ve been forgiven.

Praying for them reminds you that you’re in desperate need of God’s intercession in your life.

Loving them knits your heart to theirs and reminds you that we can all be one in Christ.

Sacrificing for them is reminiscent of when Jesus came to die for you.

Ultimately, we are doing this for Jesus’ sake, the one who loved his enemies, sought them and bought them, forgave them, cleaned them up, used them for his good purposes, and is preparing – even now – a place for them in heaven. You’re never more like Jesus than when you’re loving your enemies (Romans 5:8), praying for them (Luke 23:34), and forgiving them (Colossians 3:13).

Last, I want to consider for a moment how to love enemies of nations. Supposedly a call went out recently from the leadership of a nation asking how they could creatively punish their belligerent enemy. Beloved, that’s not how you win wars or act like Christ or earn friends. Our desire is that all people from every nation would be saved. That won’t be accomplished by sending bombs or bullets, it won’t even been accomplished by sending technology or nourishment, it will only be accomplished through the one who is able to give life and life abundantly (John 10:10); the one who is able to heal nations (Revelation 2:2).

He is the principal peacemaker, the hope of nations, the friend of sinners, and the only way to life and peace and reconciliation with God. He loved his enemies by dying to make peace by the blood of his cross. May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of his suffering!

If you don’t know where to start, maybe pray something like this, and test God to see if won't give you wisdom, love, forgiveness, and life freely and without criticizing:

Father God, please use me as a peacemaker, send enemies into my life so that your grace and mercy and love may be displayed in me. Show me where selfishness and hatred are reigning in my heart, let love and joy replace them. Let my repentance be true and reconciliation be perfect. Let no one stumble or fall because of my past or present sins in their lives. Conquer evil with love and darkness with light, let joy shrivel the roots of bitterness in my heart and theirs. Thank you for the love of your Son who has overcome the world through his faithfulness. May I look exactly like him, that he may be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Bless my enemies more than you’ve blessed me, more than I can ask or imagine. Forgive me as I forgive them. In the name of my greatest enemy who through his love and sacrifice became my greatest and nearest friend, amen.

Babies in Heaven - Hope in the Loss of a Baby

This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Death of a Baby: A Deeper Dive Into What the Bible Says About Pregnancy and Infant Loss.

Babies in Heaven

Your child is not dead, but only fallen asleep in the lap of Jesus. He has taken the little one from the storms of this world into the quiet nursery of the Heavenly Paradise. ~ George Whitefield

Isaiah 11 describes the new heavens and the new earth after the kingdom of the Christ is established. This chapter is where we get the idea that the lion will lie down with the lamb. In the new creation, we have wonderful promises that wolves will not devour lambs, that panthers will be friendly to young goats, that lions shall return to their vegetarian diet. Ultimately there will be peace all around.

The picture is of a restored paradise, and while some readers think this is figurative language, I believe it is literal. One reason I read it literally is because when it talks about babies and infants, it doesn’t use abstract language like, “Children could tend lions…” or “Babies could play with cobras.” It uses concrete language,

a little child shall lead them. ~ Isaiah 11:6

and

the nursing child shall play over the hole of the cobra, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the adder’s den. ~ Isaiah 11:8

These little ones shall be in the new heaven and the new earth. They shall lead and play.

Heaven is a Nursery

Concerning these and other verses, many authors have described heaven as a nursery. While some have said that heaven has a nursery, many have observed that it is more accurate that heaven is a nursery. Jesus said “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14, emphasis mine). He also said, “Do not despise one of these little ones, for I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 18:10).

The number of babies who have been lost and carried to heaven is staggering, and while Jesus was most likely speaking of the faith of children that lay hold of the kingdom (Matthew 18:3), he also may very well have been speaking of the sheer numbers of babies who inhabit heaven.

Notice that there are three types of infants mentioned in Isaiah 11 who indwell the new creation, 1) a small child, 2) a nursing infant, and 3) a weaned child.

Do Babies Grow in Heaven?

I know there are many babies in heaven, but a question that I cannot answer is whether babies grow in heaven. I suspect–based solely on God’s will for growth (Ephesians 4:13, 1 Thessalonians 4:3)–that they will grow up. But there is something sweet and longing in my soul for perpetual babies who have that wonderful dazzling continuing exploration and joy for all eternity.

Thomas Chalmers doesn’t shed much light on a final answer, but he seemed to likewise long for that growth,

A child who dies in infancy is but transplanted to a grander nursery, where the instruction is perfect and the growth is everlasting.

Perhaps we will all have that childlike wonder in growing in heaven, as Abraham Lincoln observed,

Surely God would not have created such a being as man, with the ability to grasp the infinite, to exist only for a day! No, no, man was made for immortality.

I have been asked by several grieving mothers if they will be able to nurse their babies in heaven. Beloved, I can’t think of a better person to ensure that the nursing baby is nourished than its mother. But it comes with one caveat: you have to be a citizen of that new creation yourself. So, pay close attention to yourself and Christ, ensure you’re trusting fully in him and his atoning work, and then I suspect there will be a great number of babies who need your loving touch and nourishment.

It is both a horrible fact of sinful life and a wonderous fact of eternal glory that there will be so many babies who were “born into heaven,” as Ashley Opliger said of her daughter who stepped straight from her womb into the throne room of grace. Heaven is a nursery of little ones beholding their Saviour. It is horrible that they did not get to grow up, but it is glorious that the first face they saw was the face of God.

Safe in the Arms of Jesus

Fanny Crosby, blind from infancy, said,

Do you know that if at birth I had been able to make one petition to my Creator, that it would have been that I should be born blind? Because when I get to heaven, the first face that shall ever gladden my sight will be that of my Saviour.

Because of that statement, when I comfort a grieving family whose child died before birth, I often say,

If your baby could send us a message from heaven it might sound something like this:

I so looked forward to meeting you,
Of seeing your face and feeling your touch,
But the first face I saw was the face of God!
His embrace is tender and strong.

I cannot come to you, but you may come to me,
Our creator has loved us and made a way
And we may yet meet.

Your little baby,
Safe in the arms of Jesus

The safety and security of heaven is assured. Isaiah speaks again of the new heavens and the new earth and makes this promise:

No more shall there be in it an infant who lives but a few days… ~ Isaiah 65:20

But for now, many an infant has lived but a few days. It helps us to look forward to a time of eternal safety and rest. Fanny Crosby who penned the words to Safe in the Arms of Jesus after the loss of her own daughter and in expectation of heaven,

Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe from corroding care,
Safe from the world’s temptations,
Sins cannot harm me there,

Free from the blight of sorrow,
Free from my doubts and fears;
Only a few more trials,
Only a few more tears.

On earth we sing the lullaby, “Hush little baby, don’t you cry; Papa’s going to sing you a lullaby,” in which the father purchases the baby a mockingbird, a billy goat, a dog named rover, and a horse. In heaven we get to add cobra, adder, lion, and any other dangerous animal you want, maybe a tyrannosaurus rex or a Harpy eagle, etc. I’m not a hymn or lullaby writer, but maybe in heaven we’ll sing,

Hush little baby, don’t you cry,
daddy’s gonna sing you a heavenly lullaby.

Hush little baby just so you’re aware,
my first present to you is a friendly grizzly bear.

Hush little baby, make no mistake,
don’t forget to walk your rattlesnake.

And while we’re singing this chorus,
why don’t we go saddle your stegosaurus?

And after you’re done patting its head,
our Komodo Dragon can nap in your bed.

And through it all my sweet little one,
we’re going to worship God’s own Son.

Hush little baby, if you cry,
Jesus will wipe every teardrop dry.

Tears in Heaven

It has been erroneously stated that there are no tears in heaven. It is nearly accurate, but it misses the heart and love of God. Mourning is not a sin: we see Jesus weeping on earth over the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35), and we are encouraged not to mourn as those who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Mourning and weeping abound on earth.

But in heaven we see three places where Jesus wipes away tears (Isaiah 25:8, Revelation 7:17, 21:4), implying that there are tears in heaven. Psalm 56:8 says that God has kept your tears in his bottle, both your tossings and weeping have been recorded in his book.

Why are there tears? Probably for all of the reasons there are tears on earth; some are tears of joy at seeing Jesus face-to-face, others are tears of gratitude, some may be tears of thankful mourning and gratitude at seeing the scars on the Lamb of God who loved us and died for us. And likely some are tears of sorrow for knowing that such suffering still exists on earth, and especially when our beloved are still enduring the suffering of earth. Others are tears of mourning the people we expected or hoped to see in heaven who are not there. Maybe other tears of mourning are for people we knew wouldn’t meet us in heaven, but now they’re confirmed.

Whatever the reason for tears and mourning, the rest of Revelation 7:17 and 21:4 tell us this is the end of death, mourning, crying, and pain.

Conclusion

The God who holds our infants in the nursery of heaven is the same God who dries every eye and who opened the gates of heaven to every one who will put their faith in him. Christ promised that heaven belongs to children, and he died to ensure his promises are fulfilled.

'Twas love that lived, 'twas love that died,
With endless life to bless us;
Well hast Thou won Thy blood-bought Bride,
Worthy art Thou, Lord Jesus! ~ William Dickinson