The Age of Accountability - Hope in the Loss of a Baby

This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Loss of a Baby: A Deeper Dive into what the Bible says about Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death.

The Age of Accountability

How soon in life a child becomes responsible and accountable, is a difficult question to solve. Perhaps far sooner than many of us suppose. One thing, at all events, is clear–it is never too soon to strive and pray for the salvation of the souls of children–never too soon to speak to them as moral beings, and tell them of God, Christ, right and wrong. ~ J. C. Ryle

At what point does childlike faith fade and at what point does a new faith need to be acquired? This is a question that has been asked throughout the ages and one that is hard, but not impossible, to answer. While we cannot place an exact number on the age of accountability, we can get closer to determining a “level of accountability.” This level of spiritual maturity is generally more helpful, as an age would lead to a number of problems.

Problems with a Fixed Age of Accountability

If we’re talking about an exact age, then we would lose the importance of faith for a time. Imagine if we were given the exact date of Christ’s return, such as if we knew Jesus were returning two-hundred-fifty years from today, then where would our eager anticipation of his consummation go? There would be no need to hasten his return today and we could become lazy in our waiting (consider 2 Peter 3:11-12).

Then we could lose a sense of urgency with our younger children. One of my greatest joys was sitting on the floor with my then-six-year-old daughter one afternoon after VBS as she asked about why someone should be baptized and if she could be baptized. If there were a set age of accountability that was, say, two or three times her age, I would have been tempted to be complacent while thinking that we could just wait until she was older. Instead, we had a wonderful conversation and I baptized her four years later after I believe she was genuinely saved.

A mentor and dear friend–who has been serving Jesus for over six decades–came to Christ at five years old. He believes he was saved when he realized, “Jesus died for me, I’d better live for him.” If we thought five were too young to come to Christ, then we might quench that desire to seek the Lord by telling children they still had years to figure it out.

Another problem is that some children never grow in their cognitive and reasoning abilities to consciously receive or reject Jesus. Let’s take an example of a cognitively impaired forty-year-old who looks like an adult but thinks like a little child. He loves everyone and is full of joy, but he cannot have a lengthy conversation, he never learned to read, and he cannot express what it means to be born again or how to repent. What he does know about God he loves. If there were an “age of accountability” this person would be without hope, but if he has a childlike faith, having never passed that “level of accountability,” then we have great hope he will be saved by grace.

The last problem I see is that an age of accountability may provide a false safety net for children who have chosen to reject Jesus deliberately and early in their lives. Do you know any young children who seem to live in rebellion? I’ll use myself as an example, as my mother regularly reminded me that I was a “mean kid.” I don’t refute that one bit; regrettably in my younger years I did everything I could to prove “a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother” (Proverbs 10:1).

I haven’t found this to be a common occurrence, but I distinctly remember the moment when I first rebelled against God. As a child of five or six, I chose to steal a bag of marbles from our local store. It was inexpensive and could have easily been purchased, but I chose to steal it. The memory of that moment is as clear as if it happened this morning. Was that me deliberately declaring, “There is no God! And he doesn’t see!” (Psalm 14:1, 53:1, Psalm 94:7)? I believe so, and I believe after that moment the wrath of God began to abide upon me until I finally died to myself, repented of my sins, and trusted Christ at the age of twenty-four. Praise God for his patience and forbearance!

Augustine had a similar experience, though he was older than I. At the age of sixteen, along with his friends, he “carried off a huge load of pears.” They didn’t eat them, as they were not ripe and hence quite sour, so they gave them to the pigs. Augustine later lamented the action as possibly his greatest sin, as all other sins he felt he could in some way defend as temptation, mistakes, or perceived necessity, while that sin stemmed solely from rebellion and his love of rebellion,

I wanted to commit my theft, and I did it compelled by neither want nor poverty, but by a distaste of justice and a feast of iniquity…Behold my heart!...May my heart tell you what it sought there that I became freely and there was no cause of my evil except for evil. It was foul, and I loved it; I loved to be lost, I loved my rebellion…

Some fifteen years later Augustine was saved from his rioting and drunkenness, his sexual immorality and sensuality, and his quarrelling and jealously when he put on the Lord Jesus Christ (compare Romans 13:13-14, or as Augustine might say, “Take it up and read it!”).

For these reasons, many theologians reject the idea of an “age” of accountability, since the Bible speaks more clearly of a condition or level of accountability.

What is that age? That’s really not the question because we’re not talking an age of accountability–get this in your mind–we’re talking about a condition of accountability! Get the word ‘age’ out of this discussion. We’re talking about a condition of accountability, not an age. ~ John MacArthur

A Fixed Age of Accountability?

While I don’t believe in an actual age of accountability, that’s not to say that some people throughout history haven’t placed a fixed age on when a child becomes morally culpable.

The Council of Carthage (AD 418) would place the age of accountability at birth and require baptism to absolve infants of their guilt. It states clearly to expect no good thing for, “children who have left this life without baptism, without which they cannot enter the kingdom of heaven, that is, eternal life.” It’s important to note that almost all sects of Christianity have abandoned this belief.

Thomas Acquinas gives the earliest age after birth at which a child becomes responsible, that at seven they reach what he called the age of reason. At that point they must confess their sins and may receive communion. This is the official doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church’s Code of Canon Law.

The Mormon religion believes the age is eight, based on the writings of Joseph Smith. It should be noted that this supposedly stemmed from a confused angel about when or whether babies should be baptized. The same section also directly discourages children from repenting before the age of eight, as purportedly they have nothing to repent of until then.

The Jewish religion celebrates the transition between childhood and adulthood with a Bar Mitzvah for boys and a Bat Mitzvah for girls. These celebrations are generally held at age thirteen for boys and twelve for girls. The name of the ceremony is figuratively a coming-of-age event, but it literally means when they become a son or daughter of the law. Some Jewish fathers rejoice on this date because they feel they no longer must give an account for their children’s sin (consider Hebrews 13:17 for a refutation).

I’ve given you a lot of quotes, reasons, testimonies, and histories, but we’re here for the Bible, so let’s look at whether the scriptures give an age.

Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and through the Red Sea and across the desert until they arrived on the borders of the promised land. After spying out the land faithlessness and cowardice struck all of the adults, save Joshua and Caleb. The people feared the inhabitants of the land, doubted God’s righteousness, hardened their hearts, and voted with their grumbling to reject God as their king and savior. For this reason, God swore to them that they would not enter his rest. And they all fell in the wilderness.

But God made provision for the children to enter in, speaking to our topic:

As for your little ones, who you said would become a prey, and your children, who today have no knowledge of good or evil, they shall go in there. And to them I will give it, and they shall possess it. ~ Deuteronomy 1:39

How old were these little ones? Not that little, actually; well not all of them, some were probably infants. Numbers 14:29 says that those who will fall are twenty years old and upward, implying that nineteen years old and younger would inherit the promised land.

The age of twenty is repeated several times across the Torah (the first five books of the Bible), including the cut-off for which children would enter the promised land (Numbers 14:29-31), when they must give the census tax (Exodus 30:13), when they were able to go to war (Numbers 1:2-3), and when they could help in the temple (1 Chronicles 23:24). Elsewhere, Zerubbabel the governor and Jeshua the high priest commissioned those twenty years old and upward to rebuild the temple (Ezra 3:8).

For the repetitive nature of twenty-years-old, it’s tempting to say that this is the age of accountability. Certainly, many more young people would be in heaven than we currently expect if the age were that high, and if the Bible allowed me to open the narrow gates a little wider I would. But, when we read all of the verses above, it becomes apparent that the age of twenty is more of a civic responsibility measure, such as the voting age when leadership roles can be assigned and when a person becomes morally responsible to the nation, than when a child will be held accountable by God.

It's easy to get our spiritual state mixed up with our civic responsibility. My wonderful oldest daughter thought that after her baptism she would be able to vote in church business meetings. I never have been able to get her to reveal why that was so important to her, but she was crushed when she learned the bylaws didn’t allow her to vote for another seven years, though she was saved at eleven and I baptized her shortly after her twelfth birthday. Her spiritual maturity was sufficient while her civic maturity was still in work.

The age of twenty definitely has some weight from the Bible. But we have to recognize that not everyone who was older than twenty was lost (Moses for example) and not everyone who was under twenty grew up to be godly (Achan for example).

Finally, we couldn’t be faithful to the Bible about an age of accountability without considering Elisha and the bears (2 Kings 2:23-24). We’ve previously looked at it from the stance that a child can commit a sin that leads to death, but a deeper look into their possible ages will benefit us.

The Hebrew word here for boy is “na’ar” which can be used to describe anyone from a baby all the way to Joseph and Absalom when they were well into adulthood (Genesis 41:12, 2 Samuel 18:32). If just the word “na’ar” were used then those that say this was a roving gang of twenty-something-year-old boys could be right, but they miss the fact that these boys are also described with the Hebrew word “qatan” which is a diminutive, making them small in stature and/or in age. When Ninevah repented, they did so from the greatest to the littlest. The word for littlest is translated as “least” (qatan, see Jonah 3:5) in the ESV and is the same word as described the little boys. Later in Jonah they are described as not knowing their right hand from their left (Jonah 4:11).

In the New Testament a twelve-year-old (Mark 5:42) is described as a “little” girl (Mark 5:23). Though using a Greek diminutive, there is a lot of similarity. While she’s not the point of this study, it is important that at twelve she could hear and obey the voice of God (Mark 5:41-42).

While these boys were little, they were old enough to scorn God through his prophet. Acting in a group, they had no restraint and no conscience, and they faced a terrible consequence. There is an important point here that we can’t miss: when we surround ourselves with wicked people, we’re likely to do wicked things we never dreamed of when walking with the righteous, or even walking alone (Proverbs 1:10-19, 1 Corinthians 15:33).

A group of people whose express goal is not to encourage each other to godliness may prove to be the very gates of hell. An ungodly group of children may be the clearest extrabiblical argument against an age of accountability. A group of children encouraging each other to sin has a way of showing the wickedness of the human heart earlier than we could imagine. Let them be a warning to us.

I am much afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labour in explaining the Holy Scriptures, and engraving them in the hearts of youth. I advise no one to place his child where the scriptures do not reign paramount. Every institution in which means are not unceasingly occupied with the Word of God must be corrupt. ~ Martin Luther

In the sin and death of these small boys we see that God will hold sin against sinners, no matter how little they are.

God must be glorified as a righteous God, that hates sin, and will reckon for it, even in young people. ~ Matthew Henry

Because these boys were enticed to sin, and because of how they are described, if we’re looking for an age, I believe it would be far younger than most of us would be comfortable admitting. Notice though that no age is given. I believe we do well to abandon the “age” of accountability, and focus on a “level” of accountability.

The Level of Accountability

For these reasons we should move away from an age. Many theologians have agreed and stated that a level of accountability is far better than a specific birthday. The focus should be on the heart’s ability for comprehension,

Some people call it the age of accountability; I prefer the term level of accountability because everybody’s age is different. When they go from not knowing their right hand from their left, not knowing the difference between right and wrong to knowing, ‘I’m sinning, but I’m going to do it anyway!’ These children, they are born totally depraved, there is no question about it. ~ Todd Friel

Friel speaks of children who had not yet reached the level where they understood good and evil. Elsewhere this is described as knowing how to refuse the evil and choose the good.

Before the boy knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good, the land whose two kings you dread will be deserted. ~ Isaiah 7:16

Some children might learn this earlier and some might learn it later. Some might understand it immediately and some might grow into it. The Author of Hebrews speaks of discernment as something we grow into. He says,

You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. ~ Hebrews 5:12-14

Jesus, John, and Samuel grew in wisdom and stature before God and men (Luke 1:80, 2:40, 2:52, 1 Samuel 2:26). Conversely, a child can be caused to sin (Matthew 18:6), children can be provoked to anger (Ephesians 6:4), and passion can be awoken too early (Song of Solomon 2:7).

It is clear that the level of accountability can be drastically different in different children, even in the same culture, church, or family. For this reason, Paul encourages Christians not be childlike in our thinking, but to be “infants in evil” (1 Corinthians 14:20).

A child who is wise in doing evil (Jeremiah 4:22) and is sinning willfully may be well past the level of accountability living in direct sin. A brief internet search shows toddlers who know not just the gamut of curse words, but are adept at using them. A child who can’t do chores knows just how to find pornography. A child who doesn’t know a single Bible verse can sing verbatim a song about fornication and violence. The internet has helped to draw the level of accountability lower and lower every year, and it was never very high to begin with.

As we consider the eternal state of children who have died, I believe it is good to hope for the best. But while children are still alive, I know that it is good to prepare for the worst. No child should be guaranteed heaven just because they are a child. If a child approaches you because they’ve heard of God’s holiness and the horrors of hell and they’re afraid, do not assuage their fears by telling them that they are too little worry about it. That old song taught children to sing, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” I’d rather sing, “Jesus loves me this I know, and his long-suffering lovingkindness is meant to lead me to trust in his saving work on the cross and repent of my sins.” It needs some polishing, but the message is sound.

Children are in far more danger from their sins and the power of the evil one than we realize. They’ll potentially be held responsible for their sins far earlier than we or they are ready for. So, point them to the Lord Jesus Christ who loves little children and bids them come to him. Call them to repentance and share with them that hope can only be found in Jesus Christ.

How old should they be before you broach this topic? As soon as they can understand.

When Should Children Repent and Trust Christ?

As soon as you know right from wrong, you are old enough to begin taking the right way. As soon as you are old enough to be punished for doing wrong, you are old enough to give your heart to God, and to follow Christ. ~ J. C. Ryle

I was handing out gospel tracts at a major sporting event and gave one to a small boy with his father. The boy asked, “What is it?” Because of his age I simplified my answer, “It’s something about God.” He asked, “What about God?” at which point his father took the tract and flung it like a frisbee far far away. I responded to both of them by quoting George Whitefield,

Little children! If your parents will not come to Christ, come to Christ and go to heaven without them!

Understanding a level of accountability allows for such clear invitations. A child who can understand can respond. My then-three-year-old memorized James 1:19-20 (yes, the whole thing!) and loved to quote it to anyone who would listen. It was apparent from the beginning—and soon became more obvious—that he liked the attention more than the verse, but many adults were convicted that if a three-year-old could memorize God’s Word, so could they!

God spoke of the Ninevite children as not knowing their right hand from their left,

Should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left…? ~ Jonah 4:11

When the wrath of God was about to fall upon the entire city these little ones would not be spared, despite their lack of knowledge or accountability. Their smallness and youth would be no protection if the city were overthrown. And we see that they responded with their parents,

The people of Nineveh believed God. They called for a fast and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them to the least of them. ~ Jonah 3:5

Who was the greatest of them? According to the Ninevites it certainly would have been the king who decreed that the entire city should fast and repent, calling out mightily to God, repenting from evil ways and violence in hopes that God would relent and turn from his anger.

Who was the least of them? From earlier, it was the “qatan”, the littlest. Can a baby fast? Can a three-year-old memorize and understand a Bible verse? Can an infant fear God? Can a child seek God? The author of Jonah certainly thought so.

Imagine the cries of hunger from the babies. Imagine the fear of God emanating as tears from the toddlers. Is that not a mighty crying out? Was it not their version of “Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day!” (Psalm 86:3)?

Who was the greatest spiritually in Ninevah? Wouldn’t Jesus point at one of those little ones and say “Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest…” (Matthew 18:4)?

Whether it was the king or it was a baby, to be great in the kingdom of heaven every one of us needs to humble ourselves, to seek God’s face and favor. As we seek him, we’ll grow.

Grow in Grace

Every one of us started out as little babies with no understanding of our right hand or our left. We had no fear of God before our eyes. We had to learn to walk and talk and control ourselves. And we need to learn how to trust God.

Our great desire is that we will be infants in evil and mature in our thinking (1 Corinthians 14:20). Until Christ returns or calls us home we still have room to grow. By the grace of God by the time we get to heaven we will have matured significantly,

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:9-12

Until that day, help others grow. If a litt
le one has died not knowing the difference between good and evil we know they were received into the presence of God where they now know him better even than we know him. If there is any doubt as to whether your child had chosen to purposefully rebel against God or not, there is not an easy answer. Seek godly counsel and consider deeply.

Remember, David had two sons who died, an infant who he knew he would see again (2 Samuel 12:22), and his older son Absalom who was lost forever (2 Samuel 18:33). When did Absalom rebel against God? We can’t give a specific date or event, but we only know it happened.

God saves babies, and never has a baby eternally perished, even when they departed far sooner than we were ready for.

Remember when Jonah—petulant, quick-tempered Jonah—would have Nineveh perish, God gave as the reason why Nineveh should not be destroyed, that there were more than six-score thousand infants—persons who knew not their right hand from the left. ~ Charles Spurgeon

A Pillow Fort in the Whitehouse?

A couple of years ago I called my congressman to complain about a law that was harming small businesses. During the original intake, his staff heard my concerns and took notes. Soon after he called me and we had a fruitful fifteen-minute conversation. It was all business, there was no fluff, no pleasantries, no getting to know him or talking about anything other than the law that I needed changed and he had some power to change.

In the same way, if you had a matter of significant importance, you could gain an audience with the President of the United States. If you were privileged to sit in his office you would be welcomed so long as you had information he needed to hear. If you started rambling or telling stories or switched to vague topics or if you just stopped talking, the meeting would be over as he has other things to do. Your government can be a great help to you, but there are significant disadvantages in their available time.

“It is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you” said Jesus (John 16:7). There are many reasons why it is advantageous to have the Helper, the Holy Spirit, rather than Jesus here with us, none more obvious than accessibility. The Spirit indwells each and every believer and is not pressed for time or attention.

Imagine for a moment if Jesus had not gone away and the Spirit had not come. You call Jesus’ secretary and ask for a meeting because he is the only man on earth who can help you. Not only could he be thousands of miles away from you, but his calendar would be filled up for centuries. He could be on a trip, he could be napping in a boat, he could be in prison (as a visitor or a resident), he could be brokering peace between nations, or he could be dealing with any number of matters that appear more pressing than yours. His secretary apologizes profusely, but there is nothing they can do. Even though he is God in the flesh, he gets the same 86,400 seconds a day that you do, and they're booked up.

But the Spirit has no such limitations, and thank God that Jesus sent him to us! Now we can believe him when he says, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). We don’t have to ensure our fifteen-minute block is chock-full of information, we don’t have to stay on subject. We can approach the throne of grace with boldness to receive grace and help in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16). We can just sit on the floor of the throne room and be in awe of our God working all things for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

I had a somewhat silly thought this morning that you couldn’t just go into the oval office and sit on the floor and build a pillow fort and watch the President work. “What are you doing?” would be the inevitable question. You couldn’t answer “I’m just being still and knowing that you are President.” You’d be escorted out.

This morning as I lay on the floor of the throne room of grace and begged God to hear my prayers through tears because I am poor and needy (Psalm 86:1-3). After pouring out my petitions I spent time just considering how he is working in my brothers and sisters in Nigeria, Madagascar, Nepal, churches in Georgia and South Dakota, and churches and ministries just around the corner. He’s working when I’m watching. He’s working when I'm not watching.

He didn’t mind that I was saying nothing while just watching him work. He invited me to be still and know that he is God and he honors that invitation. Jesus purchased that privilege for us when he died on the cross. He gave it to us when he sent the Holy Spirit. It is our great advantage, so let’s dwell in it.

The next time you're in the throne room of grace talking to the King, would you bring me up to him?

If you derive any benefit from my labours, aid me with your prayers to our heavenly Father. ~ John Calvin

What My Favorite Rock Taught Me About Prayer and Blessings

I was recently riding my bicycle past a local church. As I got closer, I noticed there was a man standing in front of the church seemingly yelling passionately at someone with his arms flailing. It soon became apparent that he was just railing at the church building and no one was in sight.

I thought about trying to talk to him, but decided he had to be on drugs or drunk and that a conversation would be fruitless. However, as I rode past him he must have heard the sound of the tires on the gravel and turned around to say, completely in his right mind, “Good morning, how are you?” I responded with a pleasantry and went on my way.

About a quarter mile past him my conscience got the better of me and I decided that I needed to talk to him, so I rode back and he was walking down the road away from me and the church. I greeted him and told him that I felt like God wanted me to give him a water, as I had an unopened one with me that I intended to drink later in the ride.

His response was, “Oh **** yeah. Thanks pastor.” I don’t know how he came to that conclusion, but I gave him the water and asked if he had a moment to talk. He said he was in a hurry, but what he really needed was someone to pray for him. I told him I would be happy to pray for him and asked him for specifics but he said just prayer.

So I put my hand on his shoulder and thanked God for our opportunity to meet, then expressed thankfulness that we have the opportunity to come before the throne of grace to receive grace and help in our time of need no matter how big or small the need is. Then I spent some time going over the gospel by bringing up that if he had not repented of his sins and put his faith in Jesus Christ, that today would be the day of salvation. We thanked God that the blood of Christ cleanses from all unrighteousness and that love covers a multitude of sins. The whole prayer probably took three minutes, maybe four, which actually feels like a very long time to pray for someone, but he listened and did not grow restless.

When I finished I hoped for a deeper conversation, but he said he had to go, but then he stopped from turning away and said, “I’ve got to give you something!” I told him he didn’t have to give me anything, but he insisted, and I was also perplexed because he looked to have nothing to give.

Then he reached in his pocket and gave me the most nondescript little rock (or more accurately a pebble) that you can imagine. It looked like he could have picked it up from the parking lot just moments before. But I received it with thanksgiving and told him I’d continue to pray for him.

The next time I got in the car I realized I still had the rock in my pocket so I placed it on the dash of the car and prayed for my friend. In praying for him I prayed for all sorts of things, first of all for his salvation, but second that he would find a church home that would disciple him, then I prayed for his family and relationships, and I ended with the way I end a lot of prayers, that God would bless him abundantly more than I could ask or imagine.

That rock on the dashboard reminded me to pray for him over the next couple of days, then God began to change me. He reminded me that there are people who I’m praying for regularly, but not praying that he would do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think in their lives (Ephesians 3:20), rather simply just offering up prayers that he would bring them to repentance and love. There is nothing wrong with those prayers per se, but the goal was not their ultimate blessing, rather the goal was my benefit through God blessing them.

It's changed the way I’ve prayed for many people in the last week, asking God to bless them beyond belief, that if he had to choose between blessing them or me, that he would choose them all day every day (compare Romans 9:3). But I am ever reminded that he does not have to choose between who he’ll bless. In your blessing I receive blessing, and in my blessing you receive blessing, it’s a mutual benefit. The random phrase that came up in my prayers has been asking God to “Bless their socks off.” I don’t even really know what that means, other than I want you, dear reader, to have so many blessings from God that you don’t know what to do with them.

So I still have that rock on my dashboard here more than a week later, and it’s still reminding me to pray. I lost it on a bumpy road and panicked for a moment, but I quickly realized that there is nothing special about this simple, run-of-the-mill pebble; it’s just a reminder to pray. I couldn’t find it for several days, thinking it had fallen into the air vent, but it turned up on the floor when I needed a reminder to pray.

Many people in my family have collected rocks for many years. We have rocks from Loch Ness, the Grand Canyon, South Dakota, and many others, but I’ve never collected rocks. But I’ll cherish this one for what God has taught me through it. May God bless you today as you seek his face, and may your socks be blessed straight off as you pray for God to do the same for those you pray for.

My Favorite Rock

When the Death of a Child is a Blessing - Hope in the Loss of a Baby

This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Loss of a Baby: A Deeper Dive into what the Bible says about Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death. 

When the Death of a Child is a Blessing

Jeroboam was the first king of Israel (The Northern Kingdom) after God split the kingdom. Even though God had promised David trouble and a divided kingdom, he still held Jeroboam responsible for the evil he had done and the idols he had created and worshipped. Seemingly unrelated to all of the other sin, judgment, and destruction that was happening, Abijah, Jeroboam’s young son, fell ill (1 Kings 14:1).

Jeroboam’s wife sought out the nearest prophet of God (she had plenty of false prophets that she needed to bypass to get to him, see 1 Kings 13:33-34) and learned the devastating news that not only would her husband lose the kingdom, but that God had purposed to cut off every male from his lineage (1 Kings 14:10). This included Abijah her son.

In the midst of this curse, Abijah is the subject of one of the strangest blessings in the Bible,

When your feet enter the city, the child shall die, and all Israel shall mourn for him and bury him, for he only of Jeroboam shall come to the grave, because in him there is found something pleasing to the Lord, the God of Israel, in the house of Jeroboam. ~ 1 Kings 14:12-13

Spared From Future Suffering

Abijah was not saved from death, but he was saved from suffering and defilement.

This is such a hard blessing that I almost didn’t include it, but since it’s in the Bible and it speaks to our subject, we have to recognize that God may intend a blessing in the early death of some. It has become a proverb, “Only the good die young,” and while it’s not perfectly accurate, there is often truth in it. Matthew Henry said of Abijah, “His early death was a mercy to him, taking him away from the evil to come, that he might not see the ruin of his father’s house, nor be infected with the sins of it.”

Take a moment to consider what things an untimely death may save someone from.

Andrew van der Bijl (better known as Brother Andrew) had an older brother named Bas who had a severe developmental delay. Despite his challenges Bas was a joy to everyone he met until his untimely death in the early parts of World War II. Later, Brother Andrew reflected that his brother’s early death had saved him from the darker days ahead, the famine that came not long afterward, and especially that one of Bas’ favorite trees was cut down later in the war.

John Wycliffe was being charged as a heretic for his defense of the scriptures and saying things like,

The laity ought to understand the faith and, as doctrines of our faith are in the Scriptures, believers should have the Scriptures in a language which they fully understand!

Wycliffe was almost certainly on his way to torture, public humiliation, and execution for his defense of Bible translation. But God mercifully ushered him into glory through an unexpected stroke before his enemies could pounce.

My mother passed away a day before a freak flood destroyed the business she had spent three decades building. While I would much rather have my mother–even in the midst of immense financial strain–I cannot help but see the providential timing.

Of my babies in heaven, I am slightly jealous that they won’t have to navigate the challenges of Artificial Intelligence and the ways it will magnify sin. Nor will they have to watch the further decline of society (2 Timothy 3:13), the mistakes of history be repeated, or their parents grow old and die. I am happy even that they will be spared from navigating this fallen and broken world tainted by my sin and theirs. With a very painful and tear-filled hallelujah I am glad that God saved them from the toil and trouble to come, especially since we know from the rest of the Bible that they found favor in the eyes of God, and the good in them is the Christ in them, the hope of glory.

Isaiah put it this way, “The righteous man perishes…the devout men are taken away…the righteous man is taken away from calamity; he enters into peace…” (Isaiah 57:1-2). The NIV takes a little poetic license but really gets to the heart of what’s being said, “the righteous perish…the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.” Spared from evil sounds especially pleasant right now when considering my babies who are safe in the arms of Jesus.

Matthew Henry said, “God often takes away those who are saved in early life to keep them from the evil to come.”

To his point, I have long been perplexed that such men as Robert Murray M’Cheyne (29 years old), David Brainerd (29 years old), Oswald Chambers (43 years old), and Charles Spurgeon (57 years old) were taken away far too soon, but this passage helps to shed light on God’s plans.

Similarly, if I had been in prison with Paul when he realized, “My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better” (Philippians 1:23), I would have grabbed him by the ankles and begged him not to leave!

If I could have held my babies back from heaven so that I could have been blessed to hold them longer, I would have wrestled to the death any angel God could have sent my way. But I would have been ultimately wrestling with God, who has a plan and a purpose and spares some from evil by their early deaths. We don’t want them to go, but we don’t want to be found opposing God, who has long ago set the appointment of all of our deaths (Hebrews 9:27), as well as the way in which we must die (Revelation 13:10). For some, our call is to walk a long path and live long fruitful lives full of trials and tribulations, and for others the path is shorter.

The early death of this youth was not a punishment to him, but a translation to glory, rescuing him from the spiritual pollution and coming temporal ruin of his father’s kingdom. ~ Charles Simeon

If a believer is sick, I had a friend who was convinced we shouldn’t pray for their recovery since that would be keeping them from the glories of heaven. In one sense I can agree with that, and I’ve prayed for several saints, “God, as so and so has run their race, if you’re done with them, they’re ready to enter into the joys of their master.” My prayer for you and I is that God doesn’t keep us a moment longer than he’ll build his kingdom through us.

Conversely, we want to keep people for our mutual benefit and blessing. David fasted and prayed fervently that his infant son would not die (2 Samuel 12:15-17). Paul was greatly relieved that his friend Epaphroditus had not died and was sure his recovery had saved him “sorrow upon sorrow” (Philippians 2:27). Jesus himself prayed that he would not have to go to the cross because he knew the wrath, separation, loneliness, pain, and death that lay ahead (Matthew 26:38-39), even though there was great joy on the other side (Hebrews 12:2).

I’m sure Abijah’s mother wanted to keep her son, protect him from death, and keep him as long as she could.

Hearts in Heaven

Not a single person who has gone to heaven, if given the option to come back, would come back. In a truly unique story, Samuel yelled at Saul for bothering his rest, asking why he had called him up;[1] Samuel was happy to stay in heaven (1 Samuel 28:15) and had no need to be bothered by earthly things any longer. Lazarus was called back from heaven to continue his ministry a little while longer and to provide the means by which many would believe. Jesus said, “Lazarus has died, and for your sake I’m glad I was not there, so that you may believe” (John 11:14-15). To this end, Alexander Maclaren captures a point that is easy to miss,

Think of the strange shadow that must have hung over him (Lazarus). He was a man who knew the secret. To him the grave was no longer an untraveled undiscovered country; it was a place he had inhabited and returned from. His life was henceforth lived under the dual light of two worlds.

Once you know the promises of heaven, it’s hard to fall in love with the lies of the world. Abijah had the world before him to tempt and corrupt, his own father would lead him astray if given the chance, and his own heart would lead him astray. Death had saved him from the sorrows of earth and ushered him into the glories of heaven,

Judgment on Jeroboam’s house was severe, but God’s grace spared Abijah by taking him to Himself. ~ John MacArthur

After the resurrection of Lazarus, the world sought to re-kill him because he was reaping so many converts to Christ (John 12:9-11). It wasn’t his resurrection that was so intriguing to potential converts, it was Lazarus himself. I can’t wait to hear his testimony in heaven, but something about his experience gave him immense faith, hope, and boldness, and it was contagious. The old hymn tells us,

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in his wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of his glory and grace. ~ Helen Howarth Lemmel and Lilias Trotter

Beloved, you haven’t been to heaven yet, but you certainly have an expectation of how glorious it must be. I can’t say for sure, but I’d bet Lazarus did not want to come back after he’d been there four days; heaven was wonderful and earth stunk. He didn’t want to be known as we call him, “The man who died twice.” I’d bet that if you had the option to depart and be with Christ, you would go in an instant. Your child can’t return to you (2 Samuel 12:23), nor if given the option would your child return to you; God is a better Parent (Psalm 68:5), and heaven is a better country (Hebrews 11:16), but you may go to them.

In the meantime, until he calls you home, let your dearly departed magnify the vision of heaven for you. Consider what they have been saved from and saved to, and let them set your heart on fire to live a life like Lazarus so in love with heaven and so dejected with earth that many will come to Christ through your testimony and affections.

Hearts on Christ

Our hearts are idol factories, says John Calvin. Many a parent has idolized their children to the point of abandoning God’s precepts. One mother broke my heart when she blasphemed God for allowing the overdose death of her son. Charles Darwin walked away from his pursuit of truth and deeper into his idolatry after his ten-year-old daughter died. Many a parent has missed the assembling together with the saints because their child was ill, and far too many parents abandon truth because the megachurch down the road is more fun for their kids.

Though most of her response is hidden from us, Jeroboam’s wife believed God and delivered the message that the prophet had given her. Flavius Josephus points out that she was in a terrible conundrum as she traveled home, “the greater haste she made, she would the sooner see her son dead.” I believe her return was indicative that she trusted God; we’ll consider this more deeply at the end of this chapter concerning his burial.

She had a choice to make: believe God and return home, idolize her son’s life and flee, refuse to enter the city, beg the prophet to intervene for her and her son and family, or send a messenger. Take a moment to consider her options and think through how you would respond. For those whom God loves and is transforming from one degree of glory to another, he cannot and will not let an idol steal his glory.

God sometimes breaks our idols to draw us closer to Himself; He takes away our treasures to heaven so that our hearts will follow them. ~ J. C. Ryle

and,

If we lost our hold on earth through the departure of those we love, it was only that our grip on heaven might tighten. ~ Alistair Begg

Our ultimate treasure must be Jesus Christ, and where has he gone? He went to heaven to prepare a place for us (John 14:3). Imagine if you were so in love with the world that when he returns you refuse to run to him? What should he do with the chains and affections that hindered you from running to him? I would want him to break them, to make me have no reason to stay when he returns or calls me home. I’d pray with Keith and Kristyn Getty,

And when I cling to what I have,
please wrest it quickly from my grasp,
I’d rather lose all the things of earth,
to gain the things of heaven.

And that is just what he does. I mentioned to a dear friend, a newer convert aspiring to become a minister, that God will crush idols we won’t lay down. His response was humorous yet extremely somber, “I’d better not idolize my family, because I don’t want God to take them away.” John Newton, upon burying his beloved adopted daughter, said,

He takes away our children, or our friends, that He may have our hearts more entirely to Himself. When our cisterns are broken, we are more driven to the fountain.

This is a hard lesson from Abijah. Had his mother sought the child’s life, praying that he would not die when she entered the city, and had God granted it, she would have been sealing his doom later when God destroyed all of the men in Jeroboam’s household and their corpses were defiled. Had she held him back to save her immediate suffering, she would have cast him into immense, perhaps infinite, future suffering.

Because she did return, the good that God had seen in Abijah her son ensured that he would be welcomed into heaven when she set foot in the city and he died. In her obedience I believe we also see a glimpse of the faith that would save her later, though I can’t say that for certain.

Death the Defiler

Had Abijah’s mother seen the loophole in God’s warning, “when your feet enter the city, the child shall die” (1 Kings 14:12), she could have run off and never returned to that city again. Josephus speculated that she was an Egyptian, which matches with Jeroboam spending time in exile in Egypt (1 Kings 11:40), so she could have just gone home to Egypt and the child would not have died.

But I think she did see that loophole. Why then would she return? Wasn’t this a cruelty for the child? No, it was a mercy, because she knew if the child did not die then, he would not be buried. And if he didn’t die now, he would later die and be defiled. Some preachers and commentators have said that the prophet’s words were only devastating, but I see that God left a glimmer of hope.

We live in an era of mostly clean death. We don’t see the aftermath of trauma, we see corpses that are dressed up and made up to appear to still be alive, or when that’s not possible we often see closed caskets, and more and more commonly we don’t even have a funeral or memorial. I was in a group of pastors recently where we lamented over how hidden death has become in our culture. It’s not gone, it’s just hidden, and it’s out of sight and out of mind. I’ve counseled my fair share of grieving family members who cannot find closure because the last time they saw their loved one, they were vivacious and thriving, but after they died the immediate family opted for no funeral or memorial.

Of the infant funerals I’ve officiated the mortician did a flawless job in presentation and the babies either looked alive or like perfect dolls. Nothing visually about those babies would make death seem something to be feared or despised. A few years ago, we disinterred an infant so he could be buried next to his father who was killed in Iraq ten years after the baby had died; for reasons that I don’t understand the funeral home opened the casket and everyone was surprised at how perfectly embalmed and flawless the baby’s body still looked a decade later.

For the time immediately following death, hospitals have specially designed preservation cribs so that parents are gifted time to grieve before the post-mortem effects begin to take effect. I love that these cribs provide bonding and grieving time, but I hate that there is a need for them to exist. Historically we needed to bury the deceased as soon as possible. In death we see the defilement of sin, but in burial we also see the hope of the resurrection.

But when we sterilize and minimize death, we seem to be trying to hide both, and do our earthly best to remove the sting of death from this world. Part of this is because we’re afraid of death. Part is because we don’t want to consider the consequences of our actions. Part of it is just because we trust the coroners, morticians, and medical professionals to properly handle the body once the soul has departed. But probably the biggest reason we hide death is because we don’t want to consider our own mortality.

Despite this temporary blessing of death being out of sight and out of mind, our consciences and grief scream that something is terribly wrong.

Most of human history could not fathom this separation from death, nor imagine that death could be considered sterile or clean. Jeroboam’s wife certainly could not, she knew the horrors of death and why the statement, “the wages of sin is death” is such a concrete and frightful promise. The sting and victory of death reigned from Adam until Christ, and is still reigning in a world plagued by sin.

The Hope of Resurrection

After Christ’s resurrection we can confidently say with Charles Spurgeon, “Death is a stingless dragon to the believer.” But before Christ’s resurrection death had a nasty sting. This sting was mitigated before Christ in burial, such as when Israel (aka Jacob) died and his body was not buried in Egypt, but carried home to be buried in the promised land (Genesis 50:2, 5-6, 12-13), as was Joseph disinterred from Egypt to be buried at Shechem (Joshua 24:32), and the remains of Saul and Jonathan were rescued from public display to be buried in Israel (2 Samuel 21:12-14).

All of these represent the expectation of a resurrection, that God Is the God of the patriarchs, not God Was the God of the patriarchs (Matthew 22:31-32). But for those who were cursed by God and would not be raised to eternal life, but eternal death, the disposition of the body was considerably different,

Your carcasses will be food for all the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and there will be no one to frighten them. ~ Deuteronomy 28:26

This is why God refusing them burial was such a curse on Jeroboam (1 Kings 14:11), Baasha (1 Kings 16:4), Ahab (1 Kings 21:24), Jezebel (1 Kings 21:23), Jehoiakim (Jeremiah 22:18-19), Gog (Ezekiel 39:4,17-20), Pharaoh (Ezekiel 29:5, 32:4-6), and all who rebel against God in the last days (Isaiah 66:24, Revelation 19:17-18). The absence of a burial in Israel was tantamount to knowing that the deceased had no hope in the resurrection.

This is why it was so important for Jeroboam’s wife to see her son buried. Though it meant the end of his life, it preserved his favor with God and his expectation of eternal life.

We have to answer a hard question: what happened to all of the babies who for whichever reason did not receive a burial. Is that indicative of their cursed state? I would say no, and I’ll prove it. First, the long list above, while not exhaustive, is the result of rebellion and is a specific warning to a specific people. Just as dispersal in the Old Covenant was proof of cursing (Deuteronomy 28:64), dispersal now is often a proof of God’s blessing and commission (Acts 1:8, 1 Peter 1:1).

Many of God’s most faithful saints have not received a burial, such as John Hus whose body was burned and his ashes thrown into the Rhein River by his enemies so that he would have no part in the resurrection. Or Maekyn Wens who refused to stop preaching as she was executed so they affixed a tongue screw to silence her until she was burnt to ashes; the law forbade her burial so the ashes would have been simply swept away or cast into the nearby Scheldt River. Joan of Arc was burned to ashes, then her ashes were burnt twice more, and the Seine River received her final earthly remains. Time would fail to tell of Tyndale, Savonarola, Jerome of Prague, Polycarp of Smyrna, among countless others. John Wycliffe, as we previously mentioned died and was buried, was later exhumed by enemies of Christ, his bones burned, and his remains cast into the River Swift.

The Bible anticipates the question of what happens to God’s holy ones whose bodies are not buried, but lost. Do they participate in the resurrection? How can God find all of the tiny pieces of these bodies to put them back together and resurrect them? From dust to dust and ashes to ashes, how can these saints dwell in heaven in heavenly bodies if their earthly bodies were destroyed?

And the sea gave up the dead who were in it… ~ Revelation 20:13

and Ezekiel in the valley of dry bones,

As I prophesied, there was a sound, and behold, a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to its bone… ~ Ezekiel 37:7

and Job,

For I know that my redeemer lives,
and at the last he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been thus destroyed,
yet in my flesh I shall see God. ~ Job 19:25-26

Until only recently this had to be taken as a matter of faith, that we didn’t know how God would do it, only that he would. Only now, with the mapping of the human genome, do we know the intricacies of DNA; and while it’s still a great mystery, it has become clearer that our bodies are intricately programmed at the molecular level. Does God keep a perfect record of your DNA so that he can flawlessly rebuild your body in imperishable form no matter how much damage or destruction it has undergone here on earth (confer Psalm 56:8, 1 Corinthians 15:42)? I think so.

Let goods and kindred go,
this mighty life also;
the body they may kill;
God’s truth abideth still;
his kingdom is forever! ~ Martin Luther

Jesus told us not to fear those who can only destroy the body but cannot kill the soul, rather fear God who can destroy both soul and body in hell (Matthew 10:28). Abijah’s mother, Jeroboam’s wife, knew that to save her son’s life was futile if he lost his soul. She knew that God’s favor was far more valuable than to live a vapor’s width of life on earth (James 4:14, Matthew 6:27).

We still hold fast to the knowledge that when we put off this body of dust it will be planted like a seed in the ground, sown in dishonor and weakness, raised in glory and power (1 Corinthians 15:43). One way or another we will participate in the resurrection, that is sure, and may it always be that we have God’s favor purchased through his Son’s death, and assured in his resurrection.

As we look forward to the final resurrection, one moment I hope God lets us replay in heaven is when the tombs were opened and the “bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many” (Matthew 27:52-53). If he lets us behold that amazing moment, I wonder if we’ll see Abijah and his mother among them? I’m sure we will.

Conclusion

While Abijah’s early death was very sad, God had a purpose in it. As we’ve seen, the premature death of some is to protect them from defilement and sin in the future. If you have a loved one who departed too early by our standards, know that they departed exactly on God’s timeline.

Take a moment and consider what suffering, pain, and most importantly which desecration they were spared from enduring. If you could bring your baby back from heaven, would you? Would they want to return?

Most importantly, are you ready to go to them? Their favor with God is assured, so your call is to make sure you’re seeking his favor with your heart fixed on heaven and the hope of his resurrection.

---

[1]“Up” is indicative that Samuel was in the part of Sheol that we call “Abraham’s Bosom” (Luke 16:22), as heaven had not yet been opened, just as the New Heavens and New Earth have not been created yet; we often refer to all of these as “heaven” though they are distinct places; what they have in common is God’s grace and love and peace. Eternal life is knowing God (John 17:3), not living in a certain place.

Who Sinned? - Hope in the Loss of a Baby

This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Loss of a Baby: A Deeper Dive into what the Bible says about Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death.

Who Sinned?

When a child dies, amidst our compassion, sorrow, and shock, we often find ourselves asking “whose fault is it?” You may even feel regret for wondering on this complicated question. As painful as it is, it’s a valid question, because sometimes the answer is obvious that someone is clearly at fault, other times it’s hidden, sometimes no one sinned, and sometimes we just won’t know.

Certain religions would say that a baby who dies before birth or shortly after birth is being punished for either sins in a past life or for sins that they would have committed later in life. The Judeo-Christian world-view is not immune from this erroneous belief, as we see in John 9:1-2, even Jesus’ disciples asked if the man had sinned and that was why he was born blind. We can trace their line of thinking mostly to extrabiblical rabbis who said that suffering had to be caused by sin.[1]

We also see this when Bildad, a companion of Job, blamed Job’s children for their death, “If your children have sinned against [God], he has delivered them into the hand of their transgression” (Job 8:4). It’s important to note that Bildad is later rebuked by God himself for this foolish statement (Job 42:7-8). Sometimes people are killed for their own sins (see Numbers 16:30 and Ezekiel 18:20), but in Bildad’s case, he made a confident assertion without having any evidence. As a counselor I’ve heard my fair share of these mean-spirited and uninformed answers; one that especially stands out as deserving a rebuke directly from heaven was, “Well it’s no surprise, she’s not a healthy mother.”

On the other side we don’t want to pretend that there isn’t a purpose. I’ve heard more than one well-meaning counselor say, “These things just happen.” But God is in all of the details, and if not even a sparrow can fall to the ground apart from our Father (Matthew 10:29), then these things don’t just happen, there is a cause and a purpose behind them. Seeking out the answer allows for three main purposes.

1.      If repentance is due, we know how to repent.

2.     If forgiveness is required, we know who to forgive.

3.     Ultimately, so we can trust God in all the details so that our imaginations, consciences, and bitterness don’t consume us.

It’s helpful to start with the fact that the universe is not as it should be. We see that sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned (Romans 5:12), and it has affected not only human beings, but all of creation,

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. ~ Romans 8:20-21

We see corruption and death existing everywhere; we see the largest stars supernova and die, we see life snatched in the prime of life, and we see that even the tiniest of babies are not immune. Use the largest telescope and the best microscope and you can see that death is still reigning, and will until Christ tramples death under his feet (Romans 5:21, 1 Corinthians 15:24-26). Even with our own eyes we can see the brokenness of the world. When my family lived in South Dakota, one of our state’s giraffes died unexpectedly in seemingly perfect health just weeks after we visited. Any drive down any highway will reveal animals that were snuffed out in an instant. Around the globe we see billions of dead animals fossilized in rock layers laid down by water.

Death is not natural and we should be grieved by every loss of life. That giraffe still pains me, especially looking at pictures and videos of my kids feeding it. One of the most fruitful conversations I ever had about the gospel was after a new driver hit and killed an antelope and the weight of death and guilt led the young lady to seek out answers and the cure for death and guilt. And we have to remember that the great flood didn’t just kill dinosaurs and soulless animals, but millions of people of all ages who had rejected God and rebelled against his creation order.

When death entered the world through Adam’s sin, the knowledge of good and evil came with it. Without his sin we would not be in this position to ponder why such evil as the death of an innocent baby could be possible. Death in the world is first and foremost to teach us to hate sin which brings forth death. In this we hate sin in a general sense. When death visits us personally, we also learn to hate sin in a specific sense. Sometimes the sin is ours to hate and repent of, other times it’s someone else’s sin to hate and forgive, and sometimes it’s no one’s fault to show that God is working in every detail.

First Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “Rejoice in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” It’s easy to rejoice when everything is going well, and everyone is living and laughing; it’s harder to rejoice when life has been taken with silence and darkness surrounding us. We still rejoice because if we are in Christ, then everything is being used for good to transform us to the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-29), which is God’s good, acceptable, and perfect will for us (Romans 12:2), leading to our sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3). He has a plan behind every circumstance, whether it be caused by our own sin, someone else’s sin, or his own doing.

Direct Sin

The clearest statement made in scripture concerning sin that led to the death of an infant is after David stole another man’s wife, impregnated her, and then had the woman’s husband covertly murdered. Nathan tells him,

Because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die. ~ 2 Samuel 12:14

A broader, but similar story, is Hosea 9:10-17, where Israel’s sins lead directly to miscarriages (verse 14) and a nation bereaved of its children (verse 12).

God takes sin exceedingly seriously and so must we. Sin is the means by which the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and there are consequences for rebelling against God.

It is nearly impossible in most cases to discern if our sin is being punished in this way. Let me repeat that: in almost all cases this is not discernible. However, our hearts will still consider it, so it is always good to search our heart and conscience to determine if there is any deceitful way found in us.

This is a hard saying, but if you have any inclination in your heart of a hidden or overt sin that caused the pain or death of someone else, then seek the Lord while he may be found. If your heart condemns you, know that God is greater than your heart, he knows if you’re guilty or not (1 John 3:20), and either way he gives you this confidence in him, that Christ Jesus is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him (Hebrews 7:25).

There is a blessing in David’s story that points to God’s greatest truth. It’s easy to overlook, but it’s quite a blessing. Nathan tells David, “The Lord has put away your sin; you shall not die” (2 Samuel 12:13). David should have died for his sin, yet God did not hold it against David. God is not unjust to overlook sin, otherwise Uriah, the murdered husband, would have had grounds to complain in heaven. While the baby died, it was not his death that atoned for David’s sin being put away. The baby died because of David’s sin, but not for David’s sin. David would have another son (Matthew 9:27, 15:22, Luke 1:32, 18:38-39, Revelation 22:16) many years removed who would willingly die for his sins, and not just for David’s, but for Bathsheba’s, Uriah’s, Nathan’s, as well as your and my sin. He also died to ensure that the baby who died would be welcomed into heaven, and so that David could confidently say, “I shall go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23).

Beloved, in most cases, we cannot say for certain that our sins did or did not contribute to the death of someone else. But I can say this, my sin did contribute directly to the death of God’s own Son, Jesus Christ, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
and hung Him on that judgment tree. ~ Sovereign Grace Music

Hard examples abound where there is clear causation between sin and the death of a child. The mother drank, smoked, and did drugs before she knew she was pregnant, leading to severe birth defects and subsequent death. The father shook a crying infant until permanent and irreparable damage was done. The mother put her own self before that of the children and drowned them one by one in the bathtub. The father was driving drunk and crashed the vehicle, leading to the child in the backseat being killed. The Mother drank before bed and accidentally smothered the baby sleeping next to her.[2] But it’s not as clear as it seems, because lots of babies survive and thrive neonatal substance abuse, grow up with parents prone to rage, endure parents with severe depression, survive severe car accidents, and spend their whole infancy sleeping in the bed with mom and dad. Sometimes sin leads to death, and sometimes it leads to grace.

To muddy the water even farther, less clear examples are the toll that bitterness and complaining take on the human body, as well as hidden sins like pornography addiction, or adultery, or murder. Can these still lead, like they did in David and Hosea’s day, to consequences on others?

This is not as spiritual as the example given in the Bible, but consider a father who is using and selling drugs and goes to prison. His wife then loses the house, has to move into a dangerous neighborhood, and their child is killed by a stray bullet. Did the child die because of the father’s sin? These are hard questions without easy answers, but remember, our goals are:

1.      If repentance is due, we know how to repent.

2.     If forgiveness is required, we know who to forgive.

3.     Ultimately, so we can trust God in all the details so that our imaginations, consciences, and bitterness don’t consume us.

If there is sin in your life, regardless if you know it caused harm to someone else or not, now is the time to repent of it. Lay it at the foot of a blood stained cross and give that burden to Jesus (Matthew 11:28). Seek the forgiveness freely offered by God purchased by his Son. Trust that he is using all things for your good and his glory.

While it's hard to discern our own sin, ofttimes someone else’s sin is clearer in both what it is and how it leads to death. But it doesn’t make it any easier to endure.

Someone Else’s Sin

Much easier to discern is when the sin of someone else is directly attributable to the death of a baby or child. Some examples are abortion, negligence, and violence.

Real life examples of extraordinary tragic events include the crew of a classified Soviet military aircraft that crashed directly into a kindergarten in Svetlogorsk on the Baltic Sea, killing twenty-four children immediately. Some have speculated that the crew was hungover or still drunk from the night before, others blamed maintenance, and still others blamed a navigational error. Whichever the cause, someone was to blame for the death of those children.

In Aberfan, Wales, a mining accident swallowed the elementary school and led to one-hundred-sixteen children being killed. Today there stands a memorial at the mass grave of those children and the others who died. Blame abounded for missed warnings and lax regulations, which ultimately fell on the National Coal Board Chairman who resigned in the aftermath. Many others were considered culpable and/or ashamed for their part in the disaster.

The terrorist attack on the Oklahoma City Federal Building was driven by hatred for a very specific government agency. The attacker’s stated goal was targeting who he thought were evil men. In the aftermath, there now stand one-hundred-sixty-eight empty chairs where the building once stood; nineteen of those chairs are small to represent the children who died in the attack. We call that it a bombing, but it was really murder.

In the Bible we have examples where evil men have no mercy on children and kill them in the street and in the womb (Isaiah 13:16-18). We’ll examine these more when we look at Babylon’s babies, but for now let’s look at when forgiveness is an impossible, but required response.

Murder

The murder of infants is prevalent throughout the Bible. The Bible is a hard book to read if you’re looking for comfortable stories and a reassurance that all is well in the world. It tells of real evil, real suffering, and points us to a real God who has been working from the beginning and is working now to prepare his people for a future peace and hope.

It's tempting to only think of the evil and danger being from the outside, but much of the infanticide in the Bible comes from wicked people in Israel. If you want to test just how bad things are in Israel at any given time, consider how they are treating their infants. It may be bad, but are they murdering their children?

None is so wicked as Manasseh, king of Judah. While he committed many heinous sins, his most diabolical was, “And he burned his sons as an offering in the Valley of the Son of Hinnom…He did much evil in the sight of the Lord, provoking him to anger” (2 Chronicles 33:6, 2 Kings 21:6, Ahaz committed the same sin in 2 Chronicles 28:1-4, 2 Kings 16:3). This is further explained by God to Ezekiel,

And you took your sons and your daughters, whom you had borne to me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your whorings so small a matter that you slaughtered them up as an offering by fire to them? ~ Ezekiel 16:20-21

Other examples are two women who agreed to kill their children so they could survive the siege of their city (2 Kings 6:26-31), when intermingling with foreign gods started with the people worshipping idols and ended in sacrificing their children to them (Psalm 106:34-39), and the long story of the Northern Kingdom’s fall which started by rejecting God’s commandments, ignoring his rules for sacrifice, and substituting their own, which included their precious children (2 Kings 17:16-18).

The murder of infants is the opposite of Jesus’ command, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19, et al). So why is it so prevalent in the Old Testament, throughout history, and today?

The first we see above in Ezekiel 16, that their “whorings” were too small a matter in their sight, they worshipped sex over their creator. Isaiah expands on that idea by tying lust to murder, “You who burn with lust among the oaks…who slaughter your children in the valleys” (Isaiah 57:5). Micah asks, “Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” (Micah 6:7). Children are a heritage from the Lord and a direct result of his gift of sex, yet when we worship sex and reject our creator, children often pay the brunt of the price for our sins, which is a hefty penalty (compare Romans 1:26-27).[3]

Another reason infanticide is prevalent is the forsaking of God’s laws. God said to Moses,

You shall not give any of your children to offer them to Molech, and so profane the name of your God: I am the Lord. ~ Leviticus 18:21

This idea occurs throughout the writings of Moses, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel, among others. God does not accept human sacrifice and directly condemns it.

The third reason for infanticide comes from who the god Molech was purported to be; he was supposedly able to give many gifts, such as wealth, prosperity, comfort, protection, etc, but we know that while many false gods, prophets, and people promise life apart from God’s truth, the end is only death. Children are often expensive and inconvenient, so much so that I regularly say, “Why are children so expensive!? Because they’re worth it.” But for those who don’t see their worth, it seems a viable alternative to offer them to the god of comfort, prosperity, and ease. We called him Molech, Milcom, Asherah in the past, today we call him by other names, but that doesn’t make him any less evil.

The final reason I’ll speak why children are regularly killed by action and decree, is because the world that hates God loves death. We know that children are created in the image of God, it’s the main reason we speak up for them. When the true God came to earth, they rejected and crucified him. He said, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (John 15:18). Molech comes from the Hebrew word for king, so we should expect the true King, Jesus Christ, should be a direct threat to who the world wants to set up as their king.

This is why the Pharaoh of Egypt killed the Israelite male children, so they could not rise up against him (Exodus 1:9-10, 16). This is why Herod sought to kill the baby Jesus, because he wanted to retain his seat as the king of the Jews (Matthew 2:2-3, 8, 12-13, 16).

One pastor made an impassioned plea to invest in their children’s outreach by saying, “Every child in your neighborhood has two things in common: God loves them and Satan hates them.” I think he may have chosen “neighborhood” to remind us to love our neighbors! Unfortunately though, Satan and his followers will continue to hate children and murder them as often as they are able.

Child sacrifice–which we’ve renamed as abortion–has occurred for six-millennia, we’re not going to defeat it with policy or law, but we can fight it with love and compassion.

Chaplains, pastors, police officers, firefighters and others can certainly tell you stories of babies who were shaken to death, died through negligence, were poisoned, or were drowned. Certainly, there are many heinous ways babies have been and will be murdered.

If you are a victim or a perpetrator of such violence, know that there is forgiveness and hope available, the blood of Christ cleanses from all unrighteousness, both what you’ve done and what has been done to you, as we’ll examine in the near future.

Malpractice, Negligence, or Accident

I’ve assisted in the aftermath of two miscarriages where it was clear that someone was at fault, though they did not set out to kill anyone. In one case it was improperly prepared food and in another it was someone claiming to have training and credentials that they had fabricated.

Other babies have been killed in automobile accidents or through negligence, and recently an untested vaccine led to many avoidable miscarriages. Only God knows if these were driven by malevolence or just malpractice or just an accident. Concerning the vaccine, certainly in the case of many parents these deaths were inadvertent.

But because the world is broken, the best of intentions can end in sorrow and death. Even when the way seems right, it can end in death (Proverbs 14:12).

Mephibosheth was five years old when his father and grandfather were killed in battle. As an heir to the throne, he was potentially in danger of being murdered by the ascending king, so his nurse picked him up and fled. In her haste it sounds like she tripped and fell on the boy, causing permanent damage to his ability to walk. She clearly wasn’t trying to injure the boy, rather to help him, yet there were lifelong ramifications for this accident (2 Samuel 4:4). The clearest line I can draw from her mistake to the modern day is when a baby is left in a hot car.

My then-four-year-old was playing with his siblings with the van parked in the back yard. A door was open and either he got in the van and closed the door, or someone closed the door after him. He told me later he didn’t know who closed the door, but he teared up as he told me he couldn’t open the door on his own. It was only after he was so overheated and was wailing that someone heard him and rescued him with no damage, though he was drenched in sweat as he recounted the story. Had he not been rescued, it would have been absolutely tragic but also a clear accident.

For those whose negligence leads to death and manslaughter, the Bible sets up what are called “Cities of Refuge” for such people so that they may be spared from death, be rescued from consequences, and live to be restored (Numbers 35:25-32). We are tempted to require an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a life for a life when someone is injured. But Jesus expressly tells us to return blessing for cursing (Matthew 5:38-42). We can’t fight death with death, we must fight it with life; after all, didn’t Jesus himself come to give life abundantly, and ensure that though “the wages of sin is death, the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23, John 10:10)?

Beloved, the temptation is to be embittered against the perpetrator and to hope God holds their sin or carelessness against them forever. After all, they’re guilty and someone has to pay! For those who are guilty, there is a Saviour from sin who did pay for their sin. For those who were negligent there is a refuge. The response is the same, we are thankful that God’s justice and mercy are perfect. We pray for those who have wronged us. We implore them to be reconciled to God, to repent, to be restored, saved, and redeemed. We pray that God would not hold their sin against them, we desperately want God to use our tragedy for everyone’s good, and we want love and grace to abound in the aftermath of such evil and death.

Or at least we should, many will grow embittered and will face their own consequences.

The Soul that Sins

For young children who die, if we’re going to be faithful to the Bible, we have to at least consider that there was a time when children died for their own sins. That story is found in 2 Kings 2:23-24, where Elisha the prophet has just watched as his master and mentor, Elijah, is taken up in a chariot to heaven.

As he’s trekking home, at least forty-two little boys come running out of a town to jeer at him, mock his appearance, and basically say, “Get out of here!” by telling him to leave just as Elijah had left. We don’t know how old these boys were (we’ll examine the age of accountability later), and there is probably a good expectation that they ranged from small boys to early teens, but in the face of their rebellion against God, Elisha cursed them and immediately two bears appeared out of the woods and tore forty-two of them to shreds.

Forty-two little suppers were not eaten! Forty-two little beds were not slept in! Forty-two little funerals took place next day!...God took notice of the "little children" at Bethel, and punished them for their wickedness. Remember, I beg of you, that God has not changed. He is still the same. He is every day taking notice of you. ~ J. C. Ryle

Ryle emphasizes that there was a prophets school (we’d call it a seminary) in Bethel, where the boys were from. They should have known better. It’s tempting to blame their upbringing, their spiritual leaders, their surroundings, but God says to Ezekiel in Ezekiel 18 when the people were blaming their upbringing for their troubles, “The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself” (Ezekiel 18:20). It’s important to notice in this passage that God is going after a specific people who were blame shifting and making themselves victims. The main point of the passage is that if we make ourselves victims, then we are cut off from accepting responsibility for our own sins. Elsewhere, such as when David’s baby dies or Mephibosheth is made lame, clearly it was someone else’s fault and sin, so it is possible to suffer for someone else’s transgression.

But we can’t overemphasize that most of our pain, suffering, and guilt come from within and we should encourage everyone to own and repent of their own sin. It’s only by the grace of God that I can tell a few stories to illustrate, where sin did not end in death but could have and the blame would have been placed squarely on the child.

My then-three-year-old wanted to go sledding but the only snow remaining was where the snow-plow had pushed it up on the edge of the street. He snuck into the garage, got his sled, made his way through a child-proof gate, and proceeded to sled in the street that had a 45-mph speed limit. Fortunately, our neighbor (and probably his guardian angels) found him quickly and delivered him safely to our front door.

Our then-seven-year-old got frustrated with her family on a hike in the Grand Canyon and decided she was going back to the parking lot. Gravity got ahold of her and she was descending into a remote part of the Canyon known to have cliffs and mountain lions. If grandpa hadn’t found her, I shudder to think what might have happened.

I learned my lesson teaching a friend’s eight-year-old how to do some woodwork as we built a castle for a school project. He decided he could run the miter saw without any training or permission. Fortunately, it only threw the piece of wood he was cutting across the garage and he was unharmed, though quite startled. I installed a safety switch so that couldn’t happen again. Yet, years later our eleven-year-old lied to his mom that I had said he could use the miter saw. Apparently, he had watched me and knew how the safety switch worked but didn’t have a clue how the saw worked. Providentially, the piece of wood broke the saw and jammed the blade so it stopped nearly instantly.

Any of those incidents could have been the end of those kids, and there would have been a direct sin on their part that led to it. I still shudder and count myself blessed that none of those incidents ended with serious injury or death.

By the grace of God, I haven’t officiated a funeral for a child who died because of their own sin. But I do know of a funeral for a sixteen-year-old high school student who died because he crashed his car while driving drunk. The parents asked the pastor of a large local church to officiate since they had attended many years in the past. They wanted the pastor to speak of the boy’s having attended Vacation Bible School (VBS) and other events and basically “preach him into heaven.” The pastor told the truth about sin and the associated dangers, and used the boy’s sin and death to call others to repentance and point them to the Saviour. You might expect backlash, but God blessed that church abundantly for his steadfast stand for the truth.

Ecclesiastes tells us that it is better to go to a funeral than a feast. If a child died because of sin, please redeem their sin by warning others, but obviously do so with gentleness and respect and patience. Dying in the midst of sin does not mean they were out of the grace of God, for where sin increases, grace abounds all the more (Romans 5:20-6:1). In the case of an older child who may have reached the age of accountability, consider that several men who attempted suicide yet survived by jumping off of the Golden Gate Bridge said that the second they jumped, they regretted it and had a whole conversation with God in the ensuing seconds before they hit the water. We don’t presume everyone gets a second chance after sin, but we don’t lose hope.

If you’re trying to determine an older child’s relationship with God and suspect they died in sin, the chapters on the age of accountability and how to get to heaven will help you work through it, but I would really encourage you to find a godly counselor, pastor, or friend to explore such a heavy topic. God is working in your life, even if people who you love died and are lost forever, and he may yet use you for mighty purposes to publish his peace and works to the world.

When No One Sins

Last, let’s consider if no one sins and tragedy still strikes. While it’s human nature to assign blame, sometimes no one is at fault. Let’s look at the blind man from John 9 again; Jesus was asked if it was the man’s sins or his parents’ sins that led to him being born blind.

Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:3). As we’ll see in Job’s story, sometimes the cause is God sovereignly working for his glory and his purposes and no one is to blame.

Elsewhere, Jesus brought up the example of murdered Galileans and the example of Judeans who were killed in a construction accident. He asked rhetorical questions about whether they suffered because they were worse sinners than others. Jesus doesn’t give a long answer, he simply says, “No, I tell you, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:1-5). So far as we can discern about those Galileans and Judeans is that their death was not a specific punishment from God, but it was a specific warning.

If we feel like we have to assign blame, many times we’ll be thwarted when examining God’s purposes. More often than not the specific cause of death is likely to fall into this category, that we can’t get any closer to knowing the purpose other than the world is broken, God is still on his throne, and God is working in hearts specifically and the world generally.

God uses calamity and evil for his purposes, and Ecclesiastes 7:1-2 talks about how it is better to go to a house of mourning than to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart. We cannot presume in every situation to know God’s plans, but sometimes his purposes are obvious such as when someone comes to faith at a funeral. My goal is to lead as many people to Christ as possible, and it would bring me immense joy if someone came to faith at my funeral or through my writings after I’ve gone on to glory.

John Calvin mentioned the power of this opportunity that our misfortune may lead someone to repentance,

When misfortunes happen to any persons, we ought to consider that God deals gently with us, in sparing us for a time, to invite us to repentance. But if we abuse his forbearance, and do not profit by the examples of others, we shall suffer a heavier punishment.

The weight of tragedy in the loss of a child is hard to fathom or move past. Can their death be redeemed if someone comes to Christ? Many of us would happily suffer a little bit for our neighbor. Dirty hands, a couple of paper cuts, an afternoon spent…we’d gladly endure it or pay it. But when God asks for our dearest treasures, it’s much harder to say yes or let go. In our lament we may ask why it took the loss of our loved one to awaken someone.

J. C. Ryle considers the cost, “One single soul saved shall outlive and outweigh all the kingdoms of the world.” He may have gotten that idea from Asahel Nettleton who said, “If I might be the means to saving one soul, I should prefer it to all the riches and honor in the world.” It is a hard place to be, but it calls us to trust God more deeply and always point people to the Saviour who died so that they could live. If it costs me dearly to proclaim that word, then I’ll gladly pay it for the sake of my Saviour and the sake of those he died for.

The Spirit of God is carrying [the Word] on when [the people sharing the Word] sleep and can do no business, or when they rise to go about other business. The prophets do not live forever; but the Word which they preached is doing its work, when they are in their graves. ~ Matthew Henry

Unfortunately, we can’t guarantee that anyone will be saved at a funeral. God may be doing so much more than saving people. He may be strengthening the parents for a ministry focused on heaven. George Whitefield preached as a dying man to dying men all the days of his life, partly motivated by the fact that he had invested his future heavily on a son who lived only a few months. He said that coming to understand God’s purposes “made me as willing to go out to my son’s funeral, as to hear of his birth.” After the funeral, Whitefield proved that he was a man who knew God, knew the power of Christ’s death and resurrection, and knew that this world was not his home as he looked forward to a day worshipping his Saviour face to face.

Much of Whitefield’s passion and usefulness can be traced to a prayer immediately following the funeral, that he would be rendered, “more sober-minded, more experienced in Satan’s devices, and consequently more useful in his future labors to the church of God.” Hundreds of thousands–if not millions–of people have come to Christ and will come to Christ because of the ministry of George Whitefield. Beloved, if that is not God displaying his works through the suffering of the Whitefield family, I don’t know what is.

I very much look forward to meeting little John Whitefield in heaven, and to hear of all of the people’s lives that were transformed because his father was burdened by his death, yet not driven to despair and did not give up his hope of the resurrection of Christ.

Sometimes complications arise in the womb and the baby cannot survive. Jackie Gibson, author of You Are Still a Mother: Hope for Women Grieving a Stillbirth or Miscarriage, suffered a miscarriage and felt the frantic flutter kicks as her baby was ushered out of this world into the waiting arms of Christ. In her case, as in the case of so many others, I don’t think anyone sinned, I believe that it was so the works of God might be displayed in and through her. In Jackie’s case, she has encouraged me and countless others with the beautiful term she coined, calling those flutters her baby’s “goodbye kicks.”

I officiated a funeral for a baby who died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), also known as Crib-Death. As painful as it was for everyone, I was blessed to watch as many in the audience heard the gospel for the first time, looked to heaven for hope, and were brought nearer to God and to each other.

I could never definitively say that the death of a child was redeemed in how God interacted at the funeral and later; but that’s why I’m not God, and his ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). I do know that this is God’s will and that he wants us to redeem it in our lives and the lives of others.

Jonathan Edwards preached twice on Isaiah 40:6-8, first for a friend’s child who died, and later for his adult daughter who died. He titled both sermons, “Youth is Like a Flower Cut Down,” and he made the point, “God is pleased to cut down some to warn others.”

Very often we won’t know why a child has died or why a catastrophe has occurred, but we do know that God is in control of all of the details. If he told us exactly why he was doing things, then faith would not be required. We trust him that he will display his works in us in his timing and in his perfect will, and our call is to trust him with the details and the power.

Whatever the Cause

When a death occurs, we are reminded and warned that all is not as it should be in regards to life and death. As we experience such things, we come to know the end of all mankind.

Standing on the edge of eternity pondering and missing our dearly departed has a way of making this world grow strangely dim as we look at the unending expanse of eternity. William Booth, one of the most focused and motivated men who has ever lived, summarized his passion this way,

Would that God would make hell so real to us that we cannot rest; heaven so real that we must have men there, Christ so real that our supreme motive and aim shall be to make the Man of Sorrows the Man of Joy by the conversion to him of many.

May your dearly departed motivate you to love deeper, take God’s Word more seriously, and know Christ more fully. May their death be the catalyst for leading many, including you, closer to the risen Saviour. May your ties with this lost and dying world be severed as you seek the kingdom to come.

Whatever the cause, know that God is working all things for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). The death of anyone, especially a child, is not good, but God is able to use it for good to conform you to the image of Christ Jesus (Romans 8:29), and remind others that,

Life is short,
death is sure,
sin the cause,
Christ the cure.

If you think it would be beneficial to try to determine the spiritual cause of death, then I would encourage you to have a conversation with a trusted pastor, counselor, friend, or family member who loves Jesus and has a high view of God’s Word. Even if the cause seems clear, having an outside view of your situation is always advisable. Discussion is almost always helpful, especially if the person you’re discussing with has your highest and best usefulness in mind. Remember that the cause may be God’s working in your life and the lives of many and there be no sin involved.

If the cause is sin, then there is need for repentance and forgiveness. Always consider that God’s ways are higher than our ways. If anger is due, leave all vengeance up to God. If forgiveness is due, give it freely and without measure. Some would say that forgiveness has to be predicated by repentance, and that forgiveness without repentance is only self-care; but forgiveness is acting like Jesus. If someone should repent but won’t, then you have an opportunity to trust God’s perfect justice which will be fulfilled in hell forever or on a cross two thousand years ago. You holding onto anger against them cannot help at all.

If you’re the cause, then know there is life and forgiveness in Jesus Christ. He died for every sin (1 John 4:9) to save to the uttermost those who draw near to him (Hebrews 7:25). While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). His love covers a multitude of sins and calls us to love others (1 Peter 4:8).

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,
weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
full of pity, love, and power. ~ Joseph Hart

Whatever the cause, there is great temptation and danger in blaming God, not trusting in his providence, and refusing to move forward. This bitterness will only harm you and those around you and miss the fact that God is entirely in control.

Whatever your need, come to him today.

I come broken to mended,
I come wounded to be healed,
I come desperate to be rescued,
I come empty to be filled.
I come guilty to be pardoned
by the blood of Christ the Lamb,
and I’m welcomed with open arms,
praise God, just as I am. ~ Travis Cottrell

Even if we can answer the question perfectly on who sinned and we’ve trusted Christ in the outcome, there is still a temptation to think God is to blame, which is why we’ll look at Job’s story next, which pulls back the curtain and shows us that sometimes we suffer even if we’ve done nothing wrong.

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[1] Talmud Shabbat 55a, a sort of commentary of the Rabbis, is the closest source for this idea.

[2]Please don’t take this as medical advice, but know that the use of medication, alcohol, and drugs, as well as extreme fatigue, significantly increase the risk of co-sleeping deaths.

[3] It’s tempting to write so much more on this, but to stay on topic I’ll only recommend here the book Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta as one remedy for this sin.