This is a chapter from an upcoming book, Hope in the Loss of a Baby: A Deeper Dive into what the Bible says about Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death.
When the Death of a Child is a Blessing
Jeroboam was the first king of Israel (The Northern Kingdom)
after God split the kingdom. Even though God had promised David trouble and a
divided kingdom, he still held Jeroboam responsible for the evil he had done
and the idols he had created and worshipped. Seemingly unrelated to all of the
other sin, judgment, and destruction that was happening, Abijah, Jeroboam’s young
son, fell ill (1 Kings 14:1).
Jeroboam’s wife sought out the nearest prophet of God (she
had plenty of false prophets that she needed to bypass to get to him, see 1
Kings 13:33-34) and learned the devastating news that not only would her
husband lose the kingdom, but that God had purposed to cut off every male from his
lineage (1 Kings 14:10). This included Abijah her son.
In the midst of this curse, Abijah is the subject of one of
the strangest blessings in the Bible,
When your feet enter the city, the
child shall die, and all Israel shall mourn for him and bury him, for he only
of Jeroboam shall come to the grave, because in him there is found something
pleasing to the Lord, the God of Israel, in the
house of Jeroboam. ~ 1 Kings 14:12-13
Spared From Future Suffering
Abijah was not saved from death, but he was saved from
suffering and defilement.
This is such a hard blessing that I almost didn’t include it,
but since it’s in the Bible and it speaks to our subject, we have to recognize
that God may intend a blessing in the early death of some. It has become a
proverb, “Only the good die young,” and while it’s not perfectly accurate,
there is often truth in it. Matthew Henry said of Abijah, “His early death was
a mercy to him, taking him away from the evil to come, that he might not see
the ruin of his father’s house, nor be infected with the sins of it.”
Take a moment to consider what things an untimely death may
save someone from.
Andrew van der Bijl (better known as Brother Andrew) had an
older brother named Bas who had a severe developmental delay. Despite his
challenges Bas was a joy to everyone he met until his untimely death in the
early parts of World War II. Later, Brother Andrew reflected that his brother’s
early death had saved him from the darker days ahead, the famine that came not
long afterward, and especially that one of Bas’ favorite trees was cut down
later in the war.
John Wycliffe was being charged as a heretic for his defense
of the scriptures and saying things like,
The laity ought to understand the
faith and, as doctrines of our faith are in the Scriptures, believers should
have the Scriptures in a language which they fully understand!
Wycliffe was almost certainly on his way to torture, public
humiliation, and execution for his defense of Bible translation. But God
mercifully ushered him into glory through an unexpected stroke before his
enemies could pounce.
My mother passed away a day before a freak flood destroyed
the business she had spent three decades building. While I would much rather
have my mother–even in the midst of immense financial strain–I cannot help but
see the providential timing.
Of my babies in heaven, I am slightly jealous that they
won’t have to navigate the challenges of Artificial Intelligence and the ways
it will magnify sin. Nor will they have to watch the further decline of society
(2 Timothy 3:13), the mistakes of history be repeated, or their parents grow
old and die. I am happy even that they will be spared from navigating this
fallen and broken world tainted by my sin and theirs. With a very painful and
tear-filled hallelujah I am glad that God saved them from the toil and trouble
to come, especially since we know from the rest of the Bible that they found
favor in the eyes of God, and the good in them is the Christ in them, the hope
of glory.
Isaiah put it this way, “The righteous man perishes…the
devout men are taken away…the righteous man is taken away from calamity; he
enters into peace…” (Isaiah 57:1-2). The NIV takes a little poetic license but
really gets to the heart of what’s being said, “the righteous perish…the
righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.” Spared from evil sounds
especially pleasant right now when considering my babies who are safe in the
arms of Jesus.
Matthew Henry said, “God often takes away those who are
saved in early life to keep them from the evil to come.”
To his point, I have long been perplexed that such men as
Robert Murray M’Cheyne (29 years old), David Brainerd (29 years old), Oswald
Chambers (43 years old), and Charles Spurgeon (57 years old) were taken away
far too soon, but this passage helps to shed light on God’s plans.
Similarly, if I had been in prison with Paul when he
realized, “My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better”
(Philippians 1:23), I would have grabbed him by the ankles and begged him not
to leave!
If I could have held my babies back from heaven so that I
could have been blessed to hold them longer, I would have wrestled to the death
any angel God could have sent my way. But I would have been
ultimately wrestling with God, who has a plan and a purpose and spares some
from evil by their early deaths. We don’t want them to go, but we don’t want to
be found opposing God, who has long ago set the appointment of all of our
deaths (Hebrews 9:27), as well as the way in which we must die (Revelation
13:10). For some, our call is to walk a long path and live long fruitful lives
full of trials and tribulations, and for others the path is shorter.
The early death of this youth was
not a punishment to him, but a translation to glory, rescuing him from the
spiritual pollution and coming temporal ruin of his father’s kingdom. ~ Charles
Simeon
If a believer is sick, I had a friend who was convinced we
shouldn’t pray for their recovery since that would be keeping them from the
glories of heaven. In one sense I can agree with that, and I’ve prayed for several
saints, “God, as so and so has run their race, if you’re done with them, they’re
ready to enter into the joys of their master.” My prayer for you and I is that
God doesn’t keep us a moment longer than he’ll build his kingdom through us.
Conversely, we want to keep people for our mutual benefit
and blessing. David fasted and prayed fervently that his infant son would not
die (2 Samuel 12:15-17). Paul was greatly relieved that his friend Epaphroditus
had not died and was sure his recovery had saved him “sorrow upon sorrow”
(Philippians 2:27). Jesus himself prayed that he would not have to go to the
cross because he knew the wrath, separation, loneliness, pain, and death that lay
ahead (Matthew 26:38-39), even though there was great joy on the other side
(Hebrews 12:2).
I’m sure Abijah’s mother wanted to keep her son, protect him
from death, and keep him as long as she could.
Hearts in Heaven
Not a single person who has gone to heaven, if given the
option to come back, would come back. In a truly unique story, Samuel yelled at
Saul for bothering his rest, asking why he had called him up;[1]
Samuel was happy to stay in heaven (1 Samuel 28:15) and had no need to be
bothered by earthly things any longer. Lazarus was called back from heaven to
continue his ministry a little while longer and to provide the means by which
many would believe. Jesus said, “Lazarus has died, and for your sake I’m glad I
was not there, so that you may believe” (John 11:14-15). To this end, Alexander
Maclaren captures a point that is easy to miss,
Think of the strange shadow that
must have hung over him (Lazarus). He was a man who knew the secret. To him the
grave was no longer an untraveled undiscovered country; it was a place he had
inhabited and returned from. His life was henceforth lived under the dual light
of two worlds.
Once you know the promises of heaven, it’s hard to fall in
love with the lies of the world. Abijah had the world before him to tempt and
corrupt, his own father would lead him astray if given the chance, and his own
heart would lead him astray. Death had saved him from the sorrows of earth and
ushered him into the glories of heaven,
Judgment on Jeroboam’s house was
severe, but God’s grace spared Abijah by taking him to Himself. ~ John
MacArthur
After the resurrection of Lazarus, the world sought to re-kill
him because he was reaping so many converts to Christ (John 12:9-11). It wasn’t
his resurrection that was so intriguing to potential converts, it was Lazarus
himself. I can’t wait to hear his testimony in heaven, but something about his
experience gave him immense faith, hope, and boldness, and it was contagious.
The old hymn tells us,
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in his wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of his glory and grace. ~
Helen Howarth Lemmel and Lilias Trotter
Beloved, you haven’t been to heaven yet, but you certainly
have an expectation of how glorious it must be. I can’t say for sure, but I’d
bet Lazarus did not want to come back after he’d been there four days; heaven
was wonderful and earth stunk. He didn’t want to be known as we call him, “The
man who died twice.” I’d bet that if you had the option to depart and be with
Christ, you would go in an instant. Your child can’t return to you (2 Samuel
12:23), nor if given the option would your child return to you; God is a better
Parent (Psalm 68:5), and heaven is a better country (Hebrews 11:16), but you
may go to them.
In the meantime, until he calls you home, let your dearly
departed magnify the vision of heaven for you. Consider what they have been
saved from and saved to, and let them set your heart on fire to live a life
like Lazarus so in love with heaven and so dejected with earth that many will
come to Christ through your testimony and affections.
Hearts on Christ
Our hearts are idol factories, says John Calvin. Many a
parent has idolized their children to the point of abandoning God’s precepts. One
mother broke my heart when she blasphemed God for allowing the overdose death
of her son. Charles Darwin walked away from his pursuit of truth and deeper
into his idolatry after his ten-year-old daughter died. Many a parent has
missed the assembling together with the saints because their child was ill, and
far too many parents abandon truth because the megachurch down the road is more
fun for their kids.
Though most of her response is hidden from us, Jeroboam’s
wife believed God and delivered the message that the prophet had given her.
Flavius Josephus points out that she was in a terrible conundrum as she
traveled home, “the greater haste she made, she would the sooner see her son
dead.” I believe her return was indicative that she trusted God; we’ll consider
this more deeply at the end of this chapter concerning his burial.
She had a choice to make: believe God and return home, idolize
her son’s life and flee, refuse to enter the city, beg the prophet to intervene
for her and her son and family, or send a messenger. Take a moment to consider
her options and think through how you would respond. For those whom God loves
and is transforming from one degree of glory to another, he cannot and will not
let an idol steal his glory.
God sometimes breaks our idols to
draw us closer to Himself; He takes away our treasures to heaven so that our
hearts will follow them. ~ J. C. Ryle
and,
If we lost our hold on earth
through the departure of those we love, it was only that our grip on heaven
might tighten. ~ Alistair Begg
Our ultimate treasure must be Jesus Christ, and where has he
gone? He went to heaven to prepare a place for us (John 14:3). Imagine if you
were so in love with the world that when he returns you refuse to run to him?
What should he do with the chains and affections that hindered you from running
to him? I would want him to break them, to make me have no reason to stay when
he returns or calls me home. I’d pray with Keith and Kristyn Getty,
And
when I cling to what I have,
please wrest it quickly from my grasp,
I’d rather lose all the things of earth,
to gain the things of heaven.
And that is just what he does. I mentioned to a dear friend,
a newer convert aspiring to become a minister, that God will crush idols we
won’t lay down. His response was humorous yet extremely somber, “I’d better not
idolize my family, because I don’t want God to take them away.” John Newton,
upon burying his beloved adopted daughter, said,
He takes away our children, or our
friends, that He may have our hearts more entirely to Himself. When our
cisterns are broken, we are more driven to the fountain.
This is a hard lesson from Abijah. Had his mother sought the
child’s life, praying that he would not die when she entered the city, and had God
granted it, she would have been sealing his doom later when God destroyed all
of the men in Jeroboam’s household and their corpses were defiled. Had she held
him back to save her immediate suffering, she would have cast him into immense,
perhaps infinite, future suffering.
Because she did return, the good that God had seen in Abijah
her son ensured that he would be welcomed into heaven when she set foot in the
city and he died. In her obedience I believe we also see a glimpse of the faith
that would save her later, though I can’t say that for certain.
Death the Defiler
Had Abijah’s mother seen the loophole in God’s warning,
“when your feet enter the city, the child shall die” (1 Kings 14:12), she could
have run off and never returned to that city again. Josephus speculated that
she was an Egyptian, which matches with Jeroboam spending time in exile in
Egypt (1 Kings 11:40), so she could have just gone home to Egypt and the child
would not have died.
But I think she did see that loophole. Why then would she
return? Wasn’t this a cruelty for the child? No, it was a mercy, because she
knew if the child did not die then, he would not be buried. And if he didn’t
die now, he would later die and be defiled. Some preachers and commentators
have said that the prophet’s words were only devastating, but I see that God
left a glimmer of hope.
We live in an era of mostly clean death. We don’t see the
aftermath of trauma, we see corpses that are dressed up and made up to appear
to still be alive, or when that’s not possible we often see closed caskets, and
more and more commonly we don’t even have a funeral or memorial. I was in a
group of pastors recently where we lamented over how hidden death has become in
our culture. It’s not gone, it’s just hidden, and it’s out of sight and out of
mind. I’ve counseled my fair share of grieving family members who cannot find closure
because the last time they saw their loved one, they were vivacious and
thriving, but after they died the immediate family opted for no funeral or
memorial.
Of the infant funerals I’ve officiated the mortician did a flawless
job in presentation and the babies either looked alive or like perfect dolls.
Nothing visually about those babies would make death seem something to be
feared or despised. A few years ago, we disinterred an infant so he could be
buried next to his father who was killed in Iraq ten years after the baby had
died; for reasons that I don’t understand the funeral home opened the casket
and everyone was surprised at how perfectly embalmed and flawless the baby’s
body still looked a decade later.
For the time immediately following death, hospitals have
specially designed preservation cribs so that parents are gifted time to grieve
before the post-mortem effects begin to take effect. I love that these cribs
provide bonding and grieving time, but I hate that there is a need for them to
exist. Historically we needed to bury the deceased as soon as possible. In death
we see the defilement of sin, but in burial we also see the hope of the
resurrection.
But when we sterilize and minimize death, we seem to be
trying to hide both, and do our earthly best to remove the sting of death from
this world. Part of this is because we’re afraid of death. Part is because we
don’t want to consider the consequences of our actions. Part of it is just
because we trust the coroners, morticians, and medical professionals to
properly handle the body once the soul has departed. But probably the biggest reason
we hide death is because we don’t want to consider our own mortality.
Despite this temporary blessing of death being out of sight
and out of mind, our consciences and grief scream that something is terribly
wrong.
Most of human history could not fathom this separation from
death, nor imagine that death could be considered sterile or clean. Jeroboam’s
wife certainly could not, she knew the horrors of death and why the statement,
“the wages of sin is death” is such a concrete and frightful promise. The sting
and victory of death reigned from Adam until Christ, and is still reigning in a
world plagued by sin.
The Hope of Resurrection
After Christ’s resurrection we can confidently say with
Charles Spurgeon, “Death is a stingless dragon to the believer.” But before
Christ’s resurrection death had a nasty sting. This sting was mitigated before
Christ in burial, such as when Israel (aka Jacob) died and his body was not
buried in Egypt, but carried home to be buried in the promised land (Genesis
50:2, 5-6, 12-13), as was Joseph disinterred from Egypt to be buried at Shechem
(Joshua 24:32), and the remains of Saul and Jonathan were rescued from public
display to be buried in Israel (2 Samuel 21:12-14).
All of these represent the expectation of a resurrection,
that God Is the God of the patriarchs, not
God Was
the God of the patriarchs (Matthew 22:31-32). But for those who were cursed by
God and would not be raised to eternal life, but eternal death, the disposition
of the body was considerably different,
Your carcasses will be food for all
the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and there will be no one to
frighten them. ~ Deuteronomy 28:26
This is why God refusing them burial was such a curse on
Jeroboam (1 Kings 14:11), Baasha (1 Kings 16:4), Ahab (1 Kings 21:24), Jezebel
(1 Kings 21:23), Jehoiakim (Jeremiah 22:18-19), Gog (Ezekiel 39:4,17-20),
Pharaoh (Ezekiel 29:5, 32:4-6), and all who rebel against God in the last days
(Isaiah 66:24, Revelation 19:17-18). The absence of a burial in Israel was
tantamount to knowing that the deceased had no hope in the resurrection.
This is why it was so important for Jeroboam’s wife to see
her son buried. Though it meant the end of his life, it preserved his favor
with God and his expectation of eternal life.
We have to answer a hard question: what happened to all of
the babies who for whichever reason did not receive a burial. Is that indicative
of their cursed state? I would say no, and I’ll prove it. First, the long list
above, while not exhaustive, is the result of rebellion and is a specific
warning to a specific people. Just as dispersal in the Old Covenant was proof
of cursing (Deuteronomy 28:64), dispersal now is often a proof of God’s
blessing and commission (Acts 1:8, 1 Peter 1:1).
Many of God’s most faithful saints have not received a
burial, such as John Hus whose body was burned and his ashes thrown into the Rhein
River by his enemies so that he would have no part in the resurrection. Or Maekyn
Wens who refused to stop preaching as she was executed so they affixed a tongue
screw to silence her until she was burnt to ashes; the law forbade her burial
so the ashes would have been simply swept away or cast into the nearby Scheldt
River. Joan of Arc was burned to ashes, then her ashes were burnt twice more,
and the Seine River received her final earthly remains. Time would fail to tell
of Tyndale, Savonarola, Jerome of Prague, Polycarp of Smyrna, among countless
others. John Wycliffe, as we previously mentioned died and was buried, was later
exhumed by enemies of Christ, his bones burned, and his remains cast into the
River Swift.
The Bible anticipates the question of what happens to God’s
holy ones whose bodies are not buried, but lost. Do they participate in the
resurrection? How can God find all of the tiny pieces of these bodies to put
them back together and resurrect them? From dust to dust and ashes to ashes,
how can these saints dwell in heaven in heavenly bodies if their earthly bodies
were destroyed?
And the sea gave up the dead who
were in it… ~ Revelation 20:13
and Ezekiel in the valley of dry bones,
As I
prophesied, there was a sound, and behold, a rattling, and the bones came
together, bone to its bone… ~ Ezekiel 37:7
and Job,
For I
know that my redeemer lives,
and at the last he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been thus destroyed,
yet in my flesh I shall see God. ~ Job 19:25-26
Until only recently this had to be taken as a matter of faith,
that we didn’t know how God would do it, only that he would. Only now, with the
mapping of the human genome, do we know the intricacies of DNA; and while it’s
still a great mystery, it has become clearer that our bodies are intricately programmed
at the molecular level. Does God keep a perfect record of your DNA so that he
can flawlessly rebuild your body in imperishable form no matter how much damage
or destruction it has undergone here on earth (confer Psalm 56:8, 1 Corinthians
15:42)? I think so.
Let
goods and kindred go,
this mighty life also;
the body they may kill;
God’s truth abideth still;
his kingdom is forever! ~ Martin Luther
Jesus told us not to fear those who can only destroy the
body but cannot kill the soul, rather fear God who can destroy both soul and
body in hell (Matthew 10:28). Abijah’s mother, Jeroboam’s wife, knew that to
save her son’s life was futile if he lost his soul. She knew that God’s favor
was far more valuable than to live a vapor’s width of life on earth (James
4:14, Matthew 6:27).
We still hold fast to the knowledge that when we put off
this body of dust it will be planted like a seed in the ground, sown in
dishonor and weakness, raised in glory and power (1 Corinthians 15:43). One way
or another we will participate in the resurrection, that is sure, and may it
always be that we have God’s favor purchased through his Son’s death, and
assured in his resurrection.
As we look forward to the final resurrection, one moment I
hope God lets us replay in heaven is when the tombs were opened and the “bodies
of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs
after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many”
(Matthew 27:52-53). If he lets us behold that amazing moment, I wonder if we’ll
see Abijah and his mother among them? I’m sure we will.
Conclusion
While Abijah’s early death was very sad, God had a purpose
in it. As we’ve seen, the premature death of some is to protect them from
defilement and sin in the future. If you have a loved one who departed too early
by our standards, know that they departed exactly on God’s timeline.
Take a moment and consider what suffering, pain, and most
importantly which desecration they were spared from enduring. If you could
bring your baby back from heaven, would you? Would they want to return?
[1]“Up”
is indicative that Samuel was in the part of Sheol that we call “Abraham’s
Bosom” (Luke 16:22), as heaven had not yet been opened, just as the New Heavens
and New Earth have not been created yet; we often refer to all of these as
“heaven” though they are distinct places; what they have in common is God’s
grace and love and peace. Eternal life is knowing God (John 17:3), not living
in a certain place.
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